da Page 1128 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
FreeDarko Will Blow Your Mind With Widgets
I am a big NFL fan. But my passion for that league looks like a mere dalliance when compared to the fantastically obsessive adoration the people at FreeDarko have for the NBA. I mean, they previewed every fucking GAME of the season, for shit's sake. You know, for those of you who need to know the o...
Your Guest Editor Has Arrived. Get All Your Balls In Order.
All right, you listen up, you little freaks. The fun stops here: you're going to shut your stinking traps and behave, dammit! This is one substitute you're not going to SCREW WITH! That's right, I'm your guest editor today. Send your tips to me here, or to [email protected]. And while I'm here, in ...
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss
And only, like, five people died! Seriously, this is the greatest, bestest thing in the world. As a fan of your favorite team, I hope you do experience it. I never, EVER thought i would. Yeah, that's a car tipped over. See you tomorrow! PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES: WORLD SERIES CHAMPS! GOD, FUCK ME IN THE...
John Daly, a North Carolina Hooters, 2:17 a.m — Guess How This Story Ends?
Well, hi there, handsome! Here's the latest mugshot of troubled professional golfer John Daly, who is obviously still hellbent on recklessly drinkin' and piggin' himself toward an early grave. Winston-Salem police arrived at a Hooters restaurant early Sunday morning and came upon Daly being "intoxic...
This Is Why We Can't Have Two-Way Football Players Anymore
College and pro sports are dirty cesspools of corruption, greed, and underhanded malfeasance, but they've got nothing on the cutthroat world of high school football. Just ask Taysom Hill, a star quarterback from Highland High School in Idaho, who is committed to Stanford. Recent opponent and cross-...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Utah Jazz
The NBA season has started! But, like, we still have two previews to go! Up next is a team that loves the pick-and-roll...and quiet evenings at home. They are: The Utah Jazz. When last we saw them: Finished 54-28, first in the Northwest Division and fourth overall in the West. Lost to the Lakers in ...
Danyelle Sargent Is Trying to Put All of This Behind Her
Fox sportscaster and potty-mouthed vixen Danyelle Sargent went on Dan Patrick's SI radio show this morning, sounding beleaguered and contrite for her embarrassing Bill Walsh slip-up that unfortunately made the airwaves on Sunday and unleashed the wrath of Mike Francesa. This is her quote from Patric...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The San Antonio Spurs
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that is NEW AND EXCITING!! (But not really.) They are: The San Antonio Spurs. When last we saw them: Finished 56-26, seco...
The Criminal Element In Canadian College Football
Canadians have a sordid reputation for being exceedingly polite, but they want to remind everyone that they can hurt your feelings with a cutting barb or scathing observation too. Of course, even Canucks who are on the other end of those vicious attacks can fight back like a Momma Palin bear on her ...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Toronto Raptors
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that I'm previewing before the Spurs. Sorry, San Antonio. They are: The Toronto Raptors. When last we saw them: Finished ...
Why Can't NFL Fans Celebrate Like That?
To my knowledge there haven't been any delightful female-on-female celebrations in the stands at today's NFL games, but as we all know the real action takes place in the Carolina bathrooms. Fortunately the games themselves have produced their own entertainment, unlike your average Big 10 game. New ...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Sacramento Kings
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that may get a royal flush right down the Western Conference commode this season. They are: The Sacramento Kings. When la...
David Stern Invites Seattle to Watch Their Ex-Girlfriend With New Boyfriend
On the weekend before the NBA finally returns to action after its six-week sabbatical after the NBA Finals, we must take one more moment to remember one city that will not be joining the rest of us in our journey this season as Oklahoma City tries to pretend they can support both an NBA franchise an...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Portland Trail Blazers
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that may be - just maybe - the next big thing. They are: The Portland Trail Blazers. When last we saw them: Finished 41-4...
Ashley Todd Is Your New Mike Cooper
This is Ashley Todd. Ashley recently made some news when she was was mugged near at ATM by "a dark-skinned black man" who, after finding out she supported John McCain, carved a "B" on her face for some kind of pro-Obama viral ad campaign. However, the cops got kind of suspicious when they saw the B...
Week In Review: What's the Frequency, Carl Monday?
Here's a photo Carl Monday submitted from commenter "That Just Happened" when the jack-happy roving reporter attended the ribbon cutting ceremony of Cleveland''s RTA HealthLine, which is a big fancy bus. Public transportation frotteurists in Cleveland should reconsider using this line to satisfy the...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Philadelphia 76ers
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that may be ready to drop a house on Boston's Wicked Witch of the East. They are: The Philadelphia 76ers. When last we sa...
Thursday Night Preview: Auburn at West Virginia
Tonight ESPN brings you a match-up of teams whose fans are pissed with their lives, their teams, and the fact that it's only October and they're already prepared to start discussing next year's football season. What's the most surprising thing about both teams so far this season? How godawful the of...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Orlando Magic
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that puts the "Orla" in "Orlando." They are: The Orlando Magic. When last we saw them: Finished 52-30, first in the South...
30 Previews In 30 Days: The Phoenix Suns
NBA training camps have begun; the season is rapidly approaching. Can you dig it? I knew that you could. And so we continue our previews: 30 of them in 30 days. Up next is a team that proves I can't friggin' spell. (The Magic preview will be up tomorrow.) They are: The Phoenix Suns. When last we saw...