da Page 1129 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Dirk Nowitzki's Boys Are Now Swimming At A Doggy-Paddle Pace
Dirk vows choose a better receptacle in the future: "My sperm is getting slower,'' he said, grinning. "(So) eventually, I've got to trust somebody.''[DallasBasketball]...

Respiratory Illness Will Not Slow Tim Tebow
In case Florida fails to crush another mediocre SEC opponent tonight, Urban Meyer can safely recycle his flu excuse. Sickness has ravaged the Gators, including Tim Tebow, who flew to Lexington on a separate plane last night. [Dr. Saturday]...

Cowboys Repent For "Party Pass" Hell (Sort Of)
We reported on the special circle of hell the Cowboys reserved for their Party Pass holders on Sunday. Almost a week later, Jerry Jones is finally owning up to the mayhem which, in Jerry's defense, made the record books....

Never One To Seek The Spotlight, Danica Turns Down NASCAR
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

UFC President Pretty Excited To See Herschel Walker Fight
Dana White: "Who the f**k are they going to find to fight Herschel Walker? A guy in a wheelchair?..The geniuses over at Showtime are the most arrogant, cocky, pompous jackasses I've ever met." [FanHouse]...

Lamar And Khloe – A Tale Of Romance And Bar Tabs
So yeah, Lamar Odom and Khloe Kardashian are getting married. We should christen them Khlamar, because it sounds like a venereal disease....

$1.3 Billion And Not A Decent Boiler In The Place
Giants LB Danny Clark: "There's not a lot of hot water in there. (Jones) cut some corners in the bathroom there...It was lukewarm at best." [Newsday]...

Teams Giving Refunds For Poor Play Could Bankrupt American Sports
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

We're Running Out Of American History
A painting of Tommy Lasorda now hangs at the National Portrait Gallery in D.C. Expect Vlad Guerrero shortly to lay out the painting with a broken bat. [LA Times]...

The Opposing Team's Marching Band Will Not Break Your Fall
Notre Dame's Golden Tate: "I thought the people were going to catch me, but I forgot that was Michigan State's band...I jumped up and they scattered real quick and there was the ground hitting me hard." [FanHouse]...

The Worst Gambling Story Ever Gets A Little Worser
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering gambling debts, the BS Report, human centipedes, Nutella, and dead grandmas....

SI's Transition To Being Absolutely NSFW Is Almost Complete
If you look up double entendre in the dictionary, you'll see this same exact photo. [SI!]...

How Did That "Party Pass" Work Out For Everyone?
All you haterz out there who predicted that selling 30,000 standing room tickets for Cowboy games would turn their new stadium into a lawless Thunderdome? Yeah, you were completely right....

Darrelle Revis Takes "Man Coverage" To A Whole New Level
On covering Randy Moss: "If he went to the bathroom, I went too. I covered him any way I could. When he went to the sideline...I sat right across from him wherever he was sitting on the bench.'' [Boston Globe]...

Canada Bogarting Its 2010 Olympic Venues
Canada—a country known planet-wide for its legendary rudeness and treachery—is denying foreign athletes access to Olympics sites in the run-up to the Vancouver Games, in order to protect their precious home-snow advantage. Oh....it is on, hosers....

Megan Fox Will Kick You In The Boner
Jennifer's Body tanked this weekend. I assume there are any number of reasons why. But somewhere on that list has to be the fact that people aggressively don't give a shit about Megan Fox....

This Must Have Looked Awesome On The Jerrytron
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Of All The Kardashians
Lamar Odom, and Khloe Kardashian, after weeks of romance, are talking marriage. But screw basketball! Let's talk football....

UCF Goes All Klan Rally To Welcome Racism Victims
Central Florida hosted the University of Buffalo last night, 51 years after the Bulls were told their black players weren't welcome. How to show respect for these civil rights pioneers? Let's have everyone wear all white!...

Playground's Michael Jordan
New York magazine's excellent Sam Anderson reviews Flight, the magisterial Michael Jordan biography written and illustrated by Sam Anderson, age 13. [New York]...