da Page 954 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Russell Wilson's Wife Provides Us With Our Favorite Face Of The Draft
Seattle chose quarterback Russell Wilson in the third round of last night's NFL Draft, and his wife of three months was so excited she immediately began the metamorphosis to boa constrictor....
Joe Posnanski's Book On Joe Paterno Will Be Finished Before The Sandusky Trial
Joe Posnanski didn't go to Happy Valley to write about the unhappy end of Joe Pateno's life and career. He intended it as an eternal Father's Day gift, a sappy and sentimental picture of the aging lion in repose. It was originally scheduled to be released in time for Father's Day, and Posnanski said...
Ad On ESPN Homepage: Nothing Says Mother's Day Like The Gift Of Mel Kiper's Hair
I think the jeweler who bought the ad is going for the compatibility of trying to select a Mother's Day gift at the same time your favorite NFL team is trying to select the right draft pick. Synergy! But, really, Mel Kiper's hair as your pitch-hair? And let's be honest about using the draft as your ...
Morris Claiborne Is The Smartest Rookie In The NFL
When word leaked that LSU cornerback Morris Claiborne scored a four on his Wonderlic, our measured reaction was "who gives a shit?" It's a test of certain cognitive abilities, and gives a result that offers no prediction of future performance. Claiborne has a distinction that's a hell of a lot more ...
This Is The Face Of A Hockey Player
Veteran Panthers center John Madden took friendly fire in the first period of last night's Game 7 matchup with New Jersey last night, leaving bits of himself on the ice and suffering the sort of injury that generally knocks most other athletes out of competition. Most other athletes, of course, are...
PGA Tour Lawyers Try Really Hard To Scare Us Into Taking Down Their Dumb Video
Way back in January we posted this low-quality video, filmed off some schmo's TV screen, of a sound guy tripping and falling as Ryuji Imada prepared for his drive. It was not the pinnacle of sports commentary, but it was a guy falling down, and I thought it was pretty funny....
I Was The Child Star Of A CBS Show Who Had Two Free Throws To Win The Big Game
An occasional series featuring our readers' tales of momentary sports glory. If you've got a video of your own brush with athletic greatness, send it to [email protected], subject: Glory Days. Consider this one a very special episode: a former child star reminiscing about his big sports moment on ...
Suns Fans Celebrate The Career Of Steve Nash With A Giant Drawing Of A Penis
Steve Nash becomes an unrestricted free agent this offseason, and since the Suns didn't qualify for the playoffs, his offseason essentially started last night. Suns fans came out to lament his departure (or beg him to stay) including at least one who decided the occasion called for a display of a g...
Devils Fan Ridiculed By Panthers President For Lack Of Twitter Followers Now Has More Followers Than He Does
It's been two days since the Florida Panthers launched a concerted effort to blame visiting Devils fans for disrupting play by chucking rubber rats on the ice, despite the fact that it's a Panthers tradition and they sell the damn things for $5 in the arena. (And collect them to resell after they're...
Penn State Will Pay Two PR Firms $2.5 Million To Help School "Rebuild Trust"
Penn State had hired the PR firm Ketchum on Nov. 6, just one day after two of its administrators were charged with lying to a grand jury about Jerry Sandusky's alleged child sex abuse. Here we are five months later, and the university is still working assiduously to repair its image, this time by re...
Better Know An Umpire: Gerry Davis
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
A Monumental Day For MLB, As Pirates And Rockies Debut Historic 26-Man Rosters
As part of the new collective bargaining agreement, MLB has some new rules. Some will have major effects on the sport, including playoffs, scheduling and free agency. Others are mere footnotes. This is in no way one of the mere footnotes....
<em>Scenes From a Marriage</em>, But Longer And With Fart Jokes. <em>The Five-Year Engagement</em>, Reviewed.
1. There are several long stretches in which The Five-Year Engagement is the polar opposite of what anyone would consider "romantic" or "comedy." Jason Segel has always had a tinge of self-aggrandizing self-pity in his characters—the ones he plays, the ones he writes, and both—but for swaths of The ...
New Era's "Chicago Vs. Chicago" Spot Is Actually Set At A Hoboken Bar
Official MLB cap provider New Era's launched a series of ads titled "Chicago Vs. Chicago" in which popular character actors Nick Offerman and Craig Robinson argue over the merits of the Cubs versus the White Sox. This debate takes place, as we're led to believe in an establishing shot, in a Chicago...
This Video With A Bunch of Brawling Young Men Is "A Goddamn <em>Lord Of The Flies</em> Snuff Film"
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Brawl," or "4:39 of mostly shirtless foreign dudes re-enacting a dust bowl food-ration war of attrition." Tonight's commentator: Your favorite Dead Wrestler of the Wee...
Youth Baseball Coach Arrested After Allegedly Arguing With Umpire, Threatening Parent With Gun
OK, gang. Florida or Ohio? How about neither! This one happened in Scranton, Pa., where 39-year-old Babe Ruth League coach John Zahradnik was charged Saturday with reckless endangerment and harassment. It started when Zahradnik allegedly argued with an umpire, which escalated into an alleged argumen...
SNY Is Now Trolling Its Own Audience
It's bad enough that the Giants swept the Mets in yesterday's twin bill (starring Jason Bay!). The injury came with insult, though, in the form of this fullscreen outlining exactly how successful Mets pitchers have become once they've elevated themselves to ex-Met status (the most recent, of course...
Are You Ready To Dance To The Music Of Caroline Wozniacki? (Features Dog, Tennis Ball)
Fame-chasing tennis underachiever Caroline Wozniacki still hasn't won a Grand Slam, but she has released her first music video, "Oxygen." It's predictably noisy, cheap, and Euro (a German or Belgian shepherd is the star of the video? So is a tennis ball?)...
This Drunk Lady Keeled Over In The Aisle During A Mavs Game
Friday night. Dallas. Spotlights beam down on a meaningless game, the playoff-bound (but underwhelming) Mavs against the tanking Golden State Warriors. The game is a spectacle. A party, really. For this lady. Reader and amateur videographer Baron tells us that the lass dances ("inappropriately str...
Panthers Somehow Blame Devils Fans For Ruining Rat-Throwing Tradition
Before their 1995 home opener, a rat entered the Panthers locker room—and was promptly killed with a slapshot by Scott Mellanby. The legend took hold, and as Florida made a finals run, the "rat trick" was born. After Panthers goals and wins, fans would throw hundreds of rubber rats onto the ice....