da Page 954 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NFL Asks Pacman Jones To Scare This Year's Rookies Straight
I guess being a 147-time offender in the NFL actually does have its perks. Adam Pac-Man Jones told the Cincinnati media that Commissioner Roger Goodell has called on him to speak to this year's group of incoming rookies on how they can avoid screwing up whatever promising career they hold in front o...
Professional Athlete Used Drug, Says Someone
Lance Armstrong, who you might remember as that guy who won a bunch of bike races while everyone said he was doping, is accused of winning a bunch of bike races while doping. The U.S. Anti-Doping Agency formally charged Armstrong over blood samples collected in 2009 and 2010 that are "fully consiste...
NCAA Mistakenly Sends FCS National Championship Banner To Rival School
What's the difference between North Dakota and North Dakota State? Fuck if the NCAA knows. North Dakota State won the FCS title in January, but the NCAA accidentally mailed the championship banner to North Dakota, even going so far as to address it to North Dakota's athletic director by name. But ge...
David Stern Asked Jim Rome "Have You Stopped Beating Your Wife Yet?" As Today's Interview Turned Ugly
The Jim Rome Show turned awkward today as NBA commissioner David Stern lashed out at the show's host for asking whether the league's draft lottery was fixed, asking at one point, "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" ...
LeBron James Cuddled The Larry O'Brien Trophy Like It Was One Of His Children
I had a conversation about LeBron James with my grandmother at a cousin's wedding in Colorado this weekend. My Баба lives outside of Cleveland, and like all awesome old ladies she has strong opinions about sports. Our discussion turned to basketball and LeBron James's psyche....
A Dead Milkman Judges This NSFW Bathroom Brawl: "Why Would A Grown Man Have A Mickey Mouse Shower Curtain?"
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Oh Shit!!!! Guy gets beat tf up in shower." Tonight's commentator: Rodney Anonymous, frontman of The Dead Milkmen, marking the first time a Tuesday Night Fights review...
PSU Assistant Who Says He Saw Jerry Sandusky Raping A Boy Turned Out To Be Pretty Credible After All
A little more than a month ago, I declared that Mike McQueary, the prosecution's star witness in the Jerry Sandusky case, was "the worst witness ever." I had based my assessment on inconsistencies in statements McQueary is said to have made, both privately and under oath, since the release of the Sa...
Victim 1 Would Hide Under A Pool Table: A Roundup Of The First Two Days Of The Jerry Sandusky Trial
The trial of former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky began Monday morning in Bellefonte, Pa. Here's some of what's worth noting from the first two days of testimony:...
Lynn Shelton Is The Next Great American Director
Can you believe that only two American women have ever been nominated for an Academy Award in the Best Director category? Two. Awards are too often lazily used as some sort of actual shorthand barometer of quality and consensus—Jesus, people, Crash won, which should have eliminated that notion forev...
Tony Romo's Baby Is Sponsored By Starter
When the Romos released the first photo of their baby Hawkins two months ago, we couldn't help notice Tony's backwards cap. Not the fact that it was backwards; that's par for the course. But the prominently and perfectly displayed Starter logo....
Report: Former Penn State Administrator Had "A Secret File" On Jerry Sandusky
It's only Day 2 of the trial against Jerry Sandusky, and already it looks even more damning for officials at Penn State, two of whom—former senior vice president for business and finance Gary Schultz and on-leave athletic director Tim Curley—still face separate trials for perjury and failure to repo...
Ukraine's 2-1 Comeback Win Left This Swede Feeling Black In The Face
So, yeah, the racism promised to emerge at Euro 2012 in Poland and Ukraine actually did, though in classic 1960's spy drama fashion everyone's blaming the Russians. Sweden had no one to blame but themselves, meanwhile, after a stunning performance by Andriy Shevchenko led Ukraine past the Swedes fo...
Olympics Field Guide: Nick D'Arcy And Kenrick Monk, Idiot Gun-Toting Aussie Swimmers
Names: Nick D'Arcy and Kenrick Monk...
The Rockies Are Losing Because They Were Mean To Ubaldo Jimenez, Idiot Columnist Claims
The Colorado Rockies have been awful this year. For example: Jamie Moyer was the team's most reliable starting pitcher for a good chunk of the season. After they ditched Moyer, Jeff Francis came back for the lamest return-of-the-prodigal-son ever (he gave up eight earned runs in less than four innin...
How Do You Defend Jerry Sandusky?
It's not going to be easy. Like "climbing Mount Everest," his own lawyer told the jury this morning. Eight accusers will testify against Jerry Sandusky, and tell the jury that he lavished gifts on them, groped them, had sex with them. A poll from November showed that only three percent of Pennsylvan...
Report: Emails Indicate Ousted Penn State President Allegedly Said Not Reporting Jerry Sandusky To Cops Would Be "Humane"
So your bombshell revelation on the first day of the Jerry Sandusky trial has nothing to do with the case against Sandusky himself. NBC news reported this morning that Graham Spanier, the university president fired along with Joe Paterno in the days after the scandal broke last November, could face ...
Twins Fans Grasp Coprophilia-Based Humor Better Than Any Other MLB Fanbase
Francisco Liriano fell to 1-7 on the season as the Cubs rocked the Twins in Minneapolis Sunday. While some Minnesota fans think the team as a whole is playing like shit, insiders point to the crappy performance by several players—Liriano and fellow pitcher Carl Pavano among them. Don't count the Tw...
Rafael Nadal Wins French Open On Novak Djokovic's Double Fault, Restoring Balance To Tennis's Best Rivalry
The conditions were better, the courts were (mostly) drier and the power and topspin returned to Rafael Nadal's game. It took Nadal less than an hour today to break Djokovic's serve twice and win the fourth set, 7-5, continuing yesterday's suspended match and take his seventh French Open....
Junior Hockey Coach Suspended and Fined For Letting Team Study For Finals
Stand-in for every middle-aged Canadian male ever, Brian Cranford, has been suspended for one year from coaching his junior hockey team. He was also fined $2,000.00. Cranford is a volunteer coach for the Mount Pearl Junior Blades and, during a recent tournament, he allowed his team to miss the open...
Royals Teammate Was Probably Just Trying To Tell Bruce Chen He Had Something In His Eyes
During the Kansas City Royals 5-3 loss to the Pirates on Saturday Bruce Chen, who, interestingly enough, happens to be of Chinese descent, was doing a silly little in-game interview in anticipation of his big time face-off with the Pirates and A.J. Burnett. Then Humberto Quintero, the Royals catche...