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!["It's Just All Made Up And Flagellant": A Tour Of Fred Davis's Hilarious Legal Troubles [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17rafso5oxas7jpg.jpg)
"It's Just All Made Up And Flagellant": A Tour Of Fred Davis's Hilarious Legal Troubles [UPDATE]
Well, now. Yesterday, The Washingtonian passed along the glorious details of the shitshow civil suit being brought against Redskins tight end Fred Davis by a woman who's accused of being a "pimpette." Long story short: Davis allegedly poured an entire pitcher of juice on the woman's head, and the wo...
ESPN's Draft Coverage Buzzword: "Rim"
ESPN's NBA draft coverage has become so predictable it's inspired its own drinking game (one Jay Bilas even referenced on the broadcast). Every year features a buzzword like "length," "scorer," or the always-controversial "character."...
NBA Draft Spectators Spent Nearly Five Full Minutes Booing David Stern Last Night
The NBA is sometimes accused of being deaf to criticism, and holding last night's draft in the arena recently abandoned by the new Brooklyn Nets seems like an invitation to belligerence. But it's not just Nets fans who have beef with commissioner David Stern, and he hasn't exactly been graceful w...
Is <em>USA Today</em>'s Veteran Gambling Guy Buying Twitter Followers?
Remember our old friend Sarah Phillips, the internet huckster and former ESPN columnist? One of her many tricks, we learned, was to buy followers on Twitter—a new scheme for a new era. The more followers you have, the more influence you can claim to have. In a monetized social-media landscape, the T...
Balotelli Wasn't The Only Super Mario In Attendance At Yesterday's Euro 2012 Match
It is not a stretch to suggest these gentlemen are actual plumbers, or if they have been in possession of mushrooms at one time or another. We're eagerly anticipating their appearance at Sunday's final; the Italians will need a fire flower or two to get past a tough Spanish defense. (Or one of thos...
Why Bernard James Should Be Your New Favorite NBA Player
The first round of the 2012 NBA Draft was a surprisingly dramatic affair, with one NBA scout equating most all pre-draft analysis to "blowing smoke up each other's asses for weeks." But the best story, arguably, came near beginning of the second round when Florida State center Bernard James was se...
"A Neat Kid": Your Passive-Aggressive 2012 NBA Draft Scouting Roundup
The NBA draft is getting underway now, which means that it is time for our annual roundup of faint praise, backhanded compliments, and snickering passive-aggression directed at the gifted players about to become honest professionals. Players are listed in the order of Chad Ford's latest mock draft....
Shock! Rafael Nadal Loses In Second Round Of Wimbledon To—Wait, Who? Lukas Rosol!
So: Greatest upset in Grand Slam history?...
How A Career Ends: Danny Manning, No. 1 NBA Draft Pick In 1988, Savored His Garbage Time In 2003
Tell Me When It's Over is an interview series in which we ask former athletes about the moment they knew their playing days were over. Today, with the NBA draft beginning in a matter of hours: Danny Manning, the No. 1 overall pick in the 1988 draft. ...
Ugandan Track Athletes Fail To Qualify For Olympics After National Stadium Taken Over By Japanese Religious Group
The Ugandan Athletic Federation says at least five athletes missed out on qualifying for the Olympics after discovering Japanese religious group Happy Science was using the national stadium in Kampala....
Jerry Sandusky's Other Lawyer Wants You To Know He Totally Called That Supreme Court Ruling
Karl Rominger and Lawyerin' Joe Amendola might be basing their appeal of Jerry Sandusky's conviction on their own ineffective lawyerin', but that doesn't mean Rominger is above shouting "Scoreboard!" when it comes to his expertise on other sorts of lawyerin'. Oh, and news organizations: He's availab...
David Beckham Cut From Olympic Team
In something of a shock, it's being reported that David Beckham will be left off Britain's Olympic team. The 37-year-old will not be among the three players over 23 on the roster—those places will go to Ryan Giggs, Craig Bellamy, and in Beckham's presumed spot, Micah Richards, who was himself a surp...
How To Build A 21st-Century Bullpen With Failed Hitting Prospects And A Radar Gun
Earlier this month, Sean Doolittle made his major-league debut for the Oakland Athletics. It wasn't an obviously momentous event: The left-hander took the mound with two outs in the top of the fifth, with the A's trailing Texas 5-0. He struck out Nelson Cruz to end the inning, then pitched a perfect...
Fortunately, ESPN Doesn't Speak Spanish
Here's a sign sported by some enthusiastic Spaniards before yesterday's Euro 2012 semifinal between Spain and Portugal and aired on ESPN before the match. It reads, basically, "Cristiano go fuck yourself, Froilán the Golden Boot."...
Ladies, Chad Ochocinco's Marriage Proposal Will Have You Sopping Wet
Chad Ochocinco proposed to model/TV person/Antoine Walker-dater Evelyn Lozada back in November of 2010, with the wedding set for next week. But the details of the actual proposal have gone shrouded in secrecy, until Lozada spilled the beans on a radio interview last week....
Because This Stuff Never Gets Old, Here's Carmelo Anthony Scaring People By Pretending To Be A Wax Figure
Melo got his sculpture at Madame Tussauds in Times Square yesterday, and in between saying things like "my time is coming," he did that thing where he stands stock-still until unsuspecting ticket-buyers get close enough to spook. There were no reactions as magical as this one, but Anthony's timing...
How "Seven Nation Army" Conquered The Sports World
The Euro 2012 semifinals kick off today, and 69 goals in, you might have noticed one fan chant being sung after every single one. How did an eminently chantable White Stripes ditty become soccer's universal goal celebration? This piece, originally published Jan. 13, 2012, has your answers....
Here's Why Chris Berman Calling An NFL Game Is A Terrible Idea (In Case You Needed A Reminder)
Over the years, ESPN has used the second game of the annual Week 1 Monday Night Football doubleheader as a kind of test kitchen, to see just how much bullshit American sports fans can tolerate. We've been subjected to Mike Greenberg, Mike Golic, and Mike Ditka, all at once. Twice. And now, as the ch...
ESPN Finally Relents And Will Let Chris Berman In The Booth For One <em>MNF</em> Game
For years, Chris Berman has wanted to call a pro football game—something he hasn't done in all his time at ESPN. Before the 2009 season, we've heard, Berman asked the network if he could call just one game, maybe a late-season nothingburger like Cardinals-49ers. And ESPN, as it always has, slammed t...
Person Goes Kite Surfing During A Tropical Storm, Gets Swept Right Over A Pier
Before watching this video, I had no idea kite surfing was a thing. It seems to involve standing on a surf board in the ocean while holding on to a giant kite, a hybrid of surfing and paragliding. Sounds like loads of fun, but also like an incredibly dangerous thing to do in the middle of a tropic...