dea Page 393 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Infidelity Mars, Spices Up Dallas Kickball Game
Your morning roundup for March 5, the day after a "terrible guy" felt like a "wonderful fellow."...

Cockblocked By Hot Tub Cripples!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Watch LeBron Throw The Ball Right In Chris Bosh's Face, Blow A 24-Point Lead
Your morning roundup for March 4, the day Northwestern students remain engaged in the idea of human sexuality....

Extremely Intoxicated Priest Offered Himself Up As Sex Slave To Some Cops
When Brimfield Township, Ohio police came up upon the Very Reverend Canon Ignatius J. Kury, Pastor the other night, the holy man was laying down in the back seat of his ride, hammered. This much was confirmed when he blew three times the legal limit. That's around the time that they decided to star...

Rich Eisen Sets Personal Best In The 40, Still Loses To Slowest NFL Combine Participant
Your morning roundup for March 3, the day NFL lockout talk gets real....

Without Good Faith: Explaining The Critical Ruling Against The NFL
In briefest terms, a federal judge's ruling found that the NFL's curious broadcast contracts for the 2011 season amount to a "war chest" the league improperly obtained specifically for a lockout. But what does this mean for fans, players and owners, and what happens next? Let's try to make a very co...

1987 NBA Commercial Will Excite You With Smooth Jazz Stylings
Your morning roundup for March 2, the day universal health care finally failed....

The Atletico Junior Owl Is Gone, But His Memory Soars With Us Siempre
When owls die, they usually die peacefully, like round-headed noble angels. Except this owl, which miraculously withstood being pelted by a soccer ball, then a cleat to the torso, before it finally died on a cold gurney surrounded by men in scrubs frantically yanking on its wings. We say farewell....

How Roger Ebert And Charlie Sheen Will Help You Overcome Your Fear Of Death
Let's get right to your letters. I'm full of tiger blood....

The First Look At The Mustachioed Mopper From Texas
Your morning roundup for March 1, the day Charlie Sheen rode a mercury surfboard on the media tsunami....

Reporter With Giant Balls Breaks Up Street Fight
Gonzo journalism at its finest, as Seattle reporter Shomari Stone stumbles across the beginning of a fight on Seattle's waterfront as he's filming his standup. Stone jumps in and stops the fight, something that pansy Murrow never would have done....

The Unique Challenge Of The NHL Trade Deadline: Twitter Impostors
The deadline is minutes away, but already the NHL has seen some major movement: Brad Richards to the Leafs, Marty Reasoner to the Canucks, Dustin Penner to the Canadiens...oh wait, none of those moves actually happened. They were all reported by fake Twitter accounts impersonating hockey writers, an...

Donald Sterling Wants You To Know He Cares About Black People
Here's your morning roundup for Feb. 28, the day an ESPN cameraman may have lost a job....

Pizza Shop Bandit Leaves Hansel-And-Gretel Trail Of Sauce, Chips
And they knew him by the trail of Doritos and pizza sauce. They, being the Ventura County Sheriff's Department. Him, being Taylor Christopher Jackson who allegedly broke into a Domino's pizzeria in Ojai, Cal. But how did they know?...

Rip Hamilton Yelled At Coach John Kuester So Hard The Younger Pistons Were Mortified
Your morning roundup for Feb. 27, the day that Earth's show-business sect finally recognizes all that Queen Amidala of Naboo has done for them, and for all the rebellion....

We Are All Dave McKenna XXIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit dissipates like any financial worry No. 23 DeAngelo Hall had when Danny Boy signed him to a six-year, $54 million deal in 2009....

The Detroit Pistons Went With A Malcontent-Free Six-Man Roster Last Night
Your morning roundup for Feb. 26, the day San Francisco starts looking for messages in the snow....

Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire? Voodoo Sex Ritual Starts Fire.
Flatbush, Brooklyn. A woman in need of luck. A holy man in need of $300. Voodoo sex ritual....

Your Filth-Laden Deadspin Oscar Preview
Did you know one of the nominated movies on Sunday night is a disgusting Greek film that features hardcore incest? I did not. That's why I roped in Leitch to do a drive-by Deadcast previewing this year's ceremony, which is sure to be boring and stupid and contain any number of needless musical inter...

Cockblocked By Phish!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....