dea Page 419 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What In God's Name Is Tim Duncan Doing To That Whale?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
A Musical Tribute To Brandon Morrow's Almost No-Hitter
Brandon Morrow became the pitcher he never was for the Mariners yesterday, bedeviling the Tampa Bay Rays and striking out 17 in maybe the most dominant pitching performance of the year. Music via Annie....
To Dan Marino, Jerry Rice Gives A Double F-U
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
A-Centaur Suffers A-Boo-Boo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Haynesworth Passes Fitness Test! Haynesworth Passes Fitness Test!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Keyboard-Throwing Contest Goes About As Well As Expected
Like all fledgling non-Olympic sports, Keyboard Toss still has to work out a lot of kinks. Regulation equipment and throwing motions are good starts but they should probably focus on how not to hit the cameramen....
Cockblocked by Cassiopeia! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Female Driver Plows Into Reader's Dunkin' Donuts This Morning: His Report
Reader Eddie B. was enjoying a French cruller this morning at a Westchester Dunkin' Donuts when this lady, in an apparent rush, drove through the store. He writes in:...
FSU Cowgirl Friend Of Jenn Sterger's Corroborates Favre Voicemail, Cock Photo
No, it's not 60 Minutes, but Playboy radio interviewed former FSU Girl and "friend" of Jenn Sterger, Allison Torres, who is surprised The Favre Dong story has surfaced now. Jenn showed her the photo of it two years ago, she said....
How To Shoot A Shark In The Head
"I'm scared," squeals a child as the executioner brings his revolver to bear on the 7-foot bull shark, Nguyễn Ngọc Loan-style. Smile, you son of a— [via AnimalNY]...
A Thorough Analysis Of Han Solo’s Ability To Score Space Poon
Your letters:...
I-Reports: Matthew Berry's Friend's Famous Strange Was Probably Mira Sorvino
Previously, we brought your attention to The Case of Matthew Berry's Friend Hooking Up With An Oscar-Winning Actress. The response has been a hodgepodge of famous women and the amount of research that went into this project is staggering. Let's recap....
Only Peyton Could Make A Badass Visor Look Goofy
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Germany Being Overrun By Radioactive Boars
Twenty-five years after Chernobyl, German scientists are finding that more and more of the country's skyrocketing boar population is radioactive. The Russian payback for WWII will never end. [Der Spiegel, via]...
Joe Paterno And Dean Smith, Going Out On Their Own, Very Different Terms
Observations that Paterno's health — body and mind — have declined noticeably should be heartbreaking. So why aren't we as sad about it as we ought to be?...
Can Statistics Prove Once And For All Who Used Steroids?
Two labor economists released a study showing an increase in power numbers by Canseco's teammates which abruptly stopped when MLB instituted random steroid testing. Unfortunately, it also predicts another cycle of "I Guess We Have To Listen To Jose Canseco" talk. [Slate]...
Serial Semen Squirter Finally Behind Bars
Michael Edwards Jr. is accused of spraying Gaithersburg, Md., shoppers with semen from a bottle. Police say there are other victims out there, and they're unsure of where the semen came from. Carl Monday warned us, people. [WaPo]...
John Cusack, Chris Chelios and Eddie Vedder Walk Into A Ballpark...
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Why The Hell Are Scientists Actively Trying To Enrage Monkeys?
When a lede mentions that "a new study in monkey-antagonism has found" research that "could pave the way for advanced methods of enraging monkeys" you keep reading and then start to ask questions. Questions like: "The hell?" and "Why does this exist?"...
Reporter Interviewing An Ice Sculptor? What Can Possibly Go Wrong?
The world would be a far worse place if it weren't for the heroes committing gaffes on local newscasts. Whether they're advocating continued fowl fornicating or digging into whether penis is being enjoyed or not, they light up our lives....