dea Page 490 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bonds Brings Us Down, But Ankiel Lifts Us Up
• All the EPL you can handle. Remember to meet Mr. Hirshey this weekend for EPL opening weekend. • Bonds hit his damn homer already. • Rick Reilly ... shirtless! • It's always fun when Irish pick up prostitutes. • Remember to join the Deadspin Pants Party College Pick 'Em Pool. • Duck! Jay Mohr's ba...
Red, It Took Us 16 Years To Get Here. You Play Us, And I'll Give Ya The Best We Got.
You're better than any player we ever had. And you're the best God damn hitter we ever saw. Suit up....
In The End, You Don't Feel Nothing
By now, we've all pretty much made our peace with it, though there was a little part of us today that wanted to not mention Barry Bonds until about 4 p.m., and then throw up a "holy crap, did you guys see what happened last night? We just noticed" post. We felt that would be too gimmicky, though no...
This Headline Will Not Include Barry Bonds
• Way to go, Iraq! Oh, sorry. • Pujols, Pop-A-Shot. • Gilbert is funny when he takes other people's jokes. • Quiet, Deion. • The live report from the Arena Bowl. • Pete Rose is charming. • Ow ow ow. • Pac Man Jones, rasslin'. • We're map happy! • Goodnight, ESPN. • Matt Leinart is optimistic about t...
We Like You As Much As We Can Like Anyone Who Thinks We're An Asshole
If anything happens to us, you tell every woman we've ever gone out with we were talking about her at the end. That way they'll have to reevaluate us....
A Big Trading Day, And In Baseball Too
It is perhaps baseball's misfortune to, on the one day a year everyone looks for baseball trades, have its thunder stolen by an NBA trade, but then again, no one's been waiting six years to see where Joel Pineiro would finally be traded....
A Sensuous Saturday Of Natural Love
• 1:30 — Movie: Anacondas II [TNT] • 2:00 — Boxing: Best of Butterbean II [ESPN Classic] • 2:00 — NFL: JB Awards [CBS] • 2:00 — Movie: The Blue Lagoon [Telemundo] • 3:00 — Bull Riding: PRCA Xtreme Bulls Tour [ESPN] • 3:00 — Golf: Canadian Open [CBS] • 4:00 — Tennis: Indianapolis Championships [NBC] ...
It's Never Good When The MLS Has The Best Week
explains Beckham to us much better than we did to the world. • Careful of what cars you steal. • One more time: Gay Yankees. • We live blogged a guy talking into a microphone. • Stop the ESPN Motion. • Matt Leinart says he's a great dad, and even remembers his kid's name. • Our NFL Season Previews b...
Can't Sleep, Clown Will Eat Us
In honor of "The Simpsons Movie" coming out today, we're not even gonna try to bother with a movie quote today. Instead, we just invite everybody to give their own....
Remembering Skip Prosser
The college basketball world is still coming to terms with the death of Wake Forest coach Skip Prosser yesterday. Prosser was 56 years old and had been jogging on campus. His death shocked many, and the Web features many excellent tributes to him....
The End Of July Ain't What It Used To Be
As much as we might try, we can't muster up much enthusiasm for the trading deadline this year, which is in week. No matter scenarios they give us, we just don't believe anyone too huge will end up switching teams. The days of the Mark McGwire, Mike Piazza trades seem over. (Not that we ever conside...
Please Consult Your Employee Handbook
• The memo that changed our lives. The part where Skipper explains what a leader is, that's still our favorite one. • Tommy Morrison loves black people. • Kill the ref! No, seriously, they might kill him. • Fight, children, fight. • Joe Torre is a racist, don't ya know. • We are not going to Fire Is...
Make Like A Tree And Get Out Of Here
Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told us that if we didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain....
A Baby Name Which Will Cause No Future Embarrassment Whatsoever
When all is said and done, I blame the mom. When your last name is Karr, and dad comes up with the brilliant idea of naming the new baby Chevy, that's when you put your foot down, ladies. And you put it down hard ... on dad's genitals while he's sleeping, if necessary. And if he still insists, then ...
Elijah Dukes' Divorce Proceedings, Shockingly, Are Getting Nasty
As you probably might expect, the wife of "troubled" Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes is filing for divorce. (This tends to happen when you send your wife's cell phones photos of guns.) She has come up with some not-really-all-that-surprising accusations....
Dog Days Of All-Star Week
• What a dull week. • Not a happy time at Dan Shaughnessy's Amazon page. • Everywhere you look, there is Spike The Super Ball. • Kige Ramsey makes the world a better place. • Have a Coke and smile. • Jared Allen, signing things that aren't fun to have signed. • We hear Simmons is definitely doing an...
You Don't Go To Work Every Day; You Go To A Bar Every Day
That's why we drink it straight. The ice cubes are too heavy....