dea Page 495 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Week In Review: Gobble...Gobble...Make It Rain
• The week just kept getting worse and worse for Pacman Jones. • Peeing in the backseat of a cop car? Bad idea. • Michael Irvin, ESPN hardly knew ye. • Taking way too long to destroy a mascot. • This is what it has come to: Rocky Balboa is on steroids. • One bad-ass hockey fight. • Tom Brady, procre...

110. Get A Job, Punk.
We saw your last fight, Shawrelle. Spent so much time face down, we thought the canvas had titties....

Week In Review: An Elephant Attacks A Car
• Goodbye, Mr. Schottenheimer. • We do love ourselves some dog show. • This video is what we thought it was, and so much more. • Fat man dancing! Woo! • Jamar Smith is about to go the way of Chief Illiniwek. • It's always fun to play with Craig's List. • Now your "conversations" are with the Associa...

If Jesus Came Back And Saw What's Going On In His Name, He'd Never Stop Throwing Up
A week ago we bought a rifle ... we went to the store, and we bought a rifle! We were gonna, you know, if they told us we had a tumor, we were gonna kill ourselves. The only thing that might have have stopped us is that our parents would be devastated. So, you know, we would have had to shoot them a...

Week In Review: You Can't HANDLE John Amaechi!
• We welcomed the great Will Blythe to these here parts. • To repeat: We feel bad for this guy's little brother. • A look at Harold Reynolds' contract. • A.J. Daulerio filed his last report from Miami and then took a well-earned vacation. Look out for Stu! • Hello, Santiago! • Ron Zook, kicking your...

Like A Blind Man At An Orgy, We Were Going To Have To Feel Our Way Through
We like our sex the way we play basketball: one on one with as little dribbling as possible....

Will Barbaro Go To Heaven? It's Up To You
Barbaro is still dead, of course, but even so he needs your help more than ever. The Lexington Herald-Leader is asking readers to vote on whether Barbaro will go to Heaven. We have no idea why the Herald-Leader gets to decide ... sometimes religion confuses us....

The Last Of Those Old Spice Polls
You know those Old Spice ads they're running around here, where you can win Final Four tickets? (That's what they tell us, anyway.) Well, here's the last one. Hope you got the first two right, we guess....

Week In Review: Who Says Super Bowl Week Is Boring?
Jesus, people: What a week....

This Is Probably Not A Good Idea, But ...
So you know the Super Bowl? Big game, Bears-Colts, this Sunday, Billy Joel's gonna be there? Yeah, that one. Well, in a move we'll probably end up regretting, we have accepted an invitation to do the live blog of the game for CBS Sportsline. We decided to do this because the Super Bowl is on CBS, an...

Daulerio At Superbowl XLI: The Mustache Will Not Be Going to Maxim Tonight
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. This is the final entry of the week, though he might be back this weekend and will definitely be back Monday....

Non Movie Quote Sponsors Post
For the first time in more than a year, we have no movie quotes for you in the sponsors post this week, mainly because it would get too cluttered and confusing. (We were going to choose something obscure, independent and weird, so it's probably for the best.) Instead, there's another sponsor poll we...

Daulerio at SBXLI: Hello, Blue Carpet, Goodbye, McNabb
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Here's the second of his two tales from Miami for today....

Daulerio at SBXLI: The Clevelander, Redux
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Here's the first of his two tales from Miami for today....

Barbaro Forever (Yep)
This is the the third day after Barbaro's death, which if we're remembering our scripture correctly is the day that He is supposed to return from the dead, emerge from his tomb and speak to the apostles (although it may be difficult moving that heavy round rock with his hooves). We eagerly await any...

Daulerio at SBXL: Alex Brown Goes Back to Bourbon Street; Stuart Scott Attempts To Jack Himself Up
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Last night, he hit the motherlode. This is the final of his three tales from a crazed night....

Daulerio at SBXLI: The Playmaker
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Last night, he hit the motherlode. This is the second of his three tales from a crazed night....

Dee Mirich's Stock Portfolio Just Got A Little Fatter
You spent months and months working for Barbaro; writing letters, praying, and painstakingly Photoshopping tubes of Elmer's glue. Now, it's time to make Barbaro to work for you. Word has come down that Barbaro's final resting place may be Churchill Downs, site of his Kentucky Derby triumph. Bobby wo...

Daulerio at SBXLI: Sean Salisbury, Mayor Of Miami
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Last night, he hit the motherlode. This is the first of his three tales from a crazed night in which, as this picture clearly shows, he sneaked into the right media party....

Daulerio at Super Bowl XLI: Do Not Step On The Blue Carpet
Deadspin "correspondent" AJ Daulerio is filing dispatches from the Super Bowl all week. Here's the story of his brief time at Media Day. Today is the official kick off of Media Day Shitshow at the Miami Convention Center, where the world's greatest sports journalists and media gnats convene and att...