e Page 7714 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
An Entire Section Of DC United Fans Planked At Last Night's Game
Well, planking just won't die. We thought it had, over the weekend. But maybe soccer fans based in DC don't watch morning news in Dallas....
Your Guide To The Post-Lockout NFL World
The NFL lockout is supposed to end this week, possibly as early as today. And Lord help me, IT BETTER, or else I will personally void my bowels on Logan Mankins's head....
If This Doesn't Warm Your Heart, You're Awful
We've learned a lot about fan psychology when it comes to foul balls. We've seen adults snatch them away from children; we've seen kids sulk until they're rewarded; we've seen grown men devote their sad lives to catching baseballs. There's something about that little sphere made of cork, yarn and ...
Yeah, Sure, Chris Dudley Is Totally An NBA Legend
Well, he did play 16 seasons for five teams, averaging 3.9 points and 6.2 rebounds per game. He also narrowly lost last year's campaign for governor of Oregon. Naturally, he's identified as an NBA Legend in this diabetes PSA. Because that's what he is....
Stephen Drew's Ankle Did A Thing Human Ankles Shouldn't Do
Oof. That ankle's at the wrong o'clock. But perhaps even worse is when he snaps it back into place. (If you're squeamish, you may not want to watch the super slo-mo at 0:51, right after the announcer "hopes it's not a possible break.") It is, and Drew's obviously done for the season....
K-Rod Is Here To Salute You
Your morning roundup for July 21, the day a shark jumped right into our boat. H/Ts to Jon and Eric. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Today In Great Mugshots
Meet Tammy Hinton, a 53-year-old gal who police were trying to track down for three years on an identity-theft warrant. Somebody narked that she'd be back in Michigan for her wedding. So, Johnny Law swooped down on the City of Zion Ministries accordingly....
Porn Star Arrested For Abusing Roosters, Guinea Hens, Pigeons, Living Goats, Dead Goats And Ducks
Per the Miami New Times, "Bang Bus porn star 'Ramon' — famous for his giant penis — was arrested last week for keeping a menagerie of suffering farm animals locked in a vehicle on a 90-degree day."...
Tiger Woods Dumps His Longtime Caddie, Magically Solves All His Problems
The guy formerly known as the best golfer on earth announced today — via his website — that he was kicking longtime caddie Stevie Williams to the curb. Hell has to response quote like a Tiger Woods sidekick scorned. To wit:...
Watch A "One-Punch Fight" In The Stands At Today's Pirates Game
With Pittsburgh's 3-1 loss to the Reds today, a Milwaukee win over Arizona tonight would put the Brewers in first place. The fear of dreams being dashed was probably what started all this static near Bob and Eileen who just wanted to talk some Ozzy and cheer the Pirates onto a victory that would n...
Croatian Soccer Team Signs Field-Fornication Fetishist WAG To A Roster Spot
Nives Celsius, the "busty Croat WAG" married to Croatian national-team player Dino Drpic, is expected to appear in NK Slaven Belupo's match against Zagreb FC on Friday. Not even a week after the dramatic climax of the Women's World Cup, this is yet another giant step forward for gender equity in sp...
Buffalo Bills WR Celebrates His Birthday With A Cake That Looks Like His Ladyfriend's Ass
Writes tipster Mark S., "Buffalo Bills WR Stevie Johnson is a strange soul. Blaming god for a dropped ball in November, and now a nice big booty birthday cake."...
Mork "Hunting Bait" Encino's Story Got The Taiwanese-Animation Treatment, Too
Will somebody — anybody — pony up $12,000 so we can find out what it's like to hunt a human being, win, lose or drawl?...
Mike Quade Supports A Heliocentric Universe
The moon orbits the earth. The earth orbits the sun. As for what the sun orbits....nobody knows. But on this sunny afternoon at Wrigley Field, a place they tend to play a lot of day baseball, the sun got in Starlin Castro's eyes....
The Graceful, Oversized Legacy of Yao Ming
How long was Yao Ming going to last? That was the question about the seven-foot-six center long before he broke his foot for the first time in the NBA. When Yao joined the league nine summers ago, picked first overall in the 2002 draft by the Houston Rockets, he was the man who would bring the entir...
This Evening: This Guy Looks Like He Has It Figured Out
Your p.m. roundup for July 20, the day you learned you went to a really douchey college. H/T to Mike and Ben for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Yao Ming's Career Gets The Taiwanese Animation Treatment
In this touching Taiwanese animation tribute, Yao Ming has an 80-inch vertical. He rides rockets. He rides sharks. He retires. It's all very poignant, especially the bit in the beginning where his mother gives birth to a basketball out of which hatches a baby Yao. Does that count against the one-c...
ESPN's Cringing, Persnickety, Condom-Obsessed Standards And Practices Manual, Presented Unabridged
Below you'll find ESPN's editorial and advertising guidelines as of 2010, sent to us by a tipster. They are the sort of guidelines one finds beneath coffee mugs at any typical media company: binder with laminated cover; nice paper stock; a general air of scolding, constipated didacticism that's like...
If You're An NFL QB, And You Post Your Wedding Registry Online, A Deadspin Reader Might Send You Shot Glasses
What magic this Internet has given us. Among this magic: online wedding registries for NFL quarterbacks, including Jeff Garcia, Alex Smith, and Tony Romo. Because it just has to mean something that Romo needs a cupcake carrier for his new, committed life....
An Old Video Of A Dumb Ref Letting A Dazed Fighter Nearly Get Killed
A little gruesome, this one. Or a lot. It's a Brazilian vale tudo fight. That means "anything goes." And boy does it go, thanks to this blind fool of a referee. The video comes via Frank Shamrock, who calls it "really sad." Yes....