e Page 7730 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ohio-Based Lady Sues Kobe Bryant For Not Marrying Her
Kobe Bryant has five rings. But now one litigious soul is livid that she didn't get one from him....
Today, The Mets Deposited The First Of 25 $1,193,248.20 Checks Into Bobby Bonilla's Bank Account
Bobby Bonilla is 48. He hasn't played for the Mets since 1999. He hasn't played in MLB since 2001....
Former First Round Pick Now Growing Marijuana, Hoarding Assault Rifle Ammo
We can not, repeat NOT blame the lockout for this one. Jose Ortiz, known as Piculín and revered as a hero in Puerto Rico, was busted this week at his home. Inside ICE agents found "approximately 218 marijuana plants" and 40 rounds of AR-15 ammunition. The criminal complaint, with photos, can be foun...
Cockblocked By Waves!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Joe Paterno On Stroking And Big Kisses, Completely Out Of Context
Last night, ESPN hosted an hour-long feature called "'Difference Makers: Life Lessons with Paterno and Krzyzewski." The coaches talked about greatness and being great and the ways of the greats and how great it is to be great, and Rece Davis mentioned a few times that they were both quite great. I...
Jagr To Pittsburgh: Nope
Officially, the record will say the Penguins withdrew their 1-year, $2 million offer to Jaromir Jagr. But it's fairly safe to say that Jagr, who's had the deal in front of him for a few days, made it clear he wanted more. More money? More years? More of a chance at a Cup?...
LeBron James Dunks On Small Child To Stay Alive In Casual Game Of Knockout
LeBron James spoke at a basketball camp this week, and then he humored the young'ns by following up his missed jumpers with a few dunks — one of which knocked out a kid's lay-up and then knocked over the kid. Luckily for the camper, the initial embarrassment will ultimately evolve into the best pa...
Largest Sports Site Posts Messi Satire, Second-Largest Sports Site Parrots It As News
On Tuesday, Yahoo's soccer blog posted a seemingly innocuous article on Lionel Messi's loyalty to Barca. "When I eventually pass on, I will only play ghost football at Barcelona. I am happy there. No amount of spirit money will tempt me," he supposedly said....
Well, Shit, We've Been Giving The Norris Trophy To The Wrong Man Every Year
Your morning roundup for July 1, the day we blamed math on luck. Photo via Reddit....
Here's A Picture Of The Time Those Purple, Courtside Uggs From Miami Reappeared In All Their Glory
Tipster Josh has a story to share. So, listen up:...
This Wasn't The First Time Mr. Handy H. Wood Of Duncannon, Pa. Was Arrested For Exposing Himself
Handy H. Wood, 35, was charged with exposing himself to a McDonald's drive-thru clerk on May 17. Mr. Wood was also charged with exposing himself to a woman in the Giant/Rite Aid shopping center parking lot on May 29. Finally, Mr. Wood was arrested for exposing himself to a woman in another shopping...
Watch A Guy Drive Off The Side Of A Mountain
What happens when your car goes twirling off the side of a mountain at Devil's Playground during the Pikes Peak International Hill Climb? If you're Bobby Regester, you just climb out of the Pontiac Sunfire window. Ripoff....
The Payoff For Sticking Around To Watch A Pretty Cool Shot From Wimbledon Is A Whole Lot Of Grunting
Here's video from when Victoria Azarenka faced Tamira Paszek in the Wimbledon quarterfinals a couple days back. A quick check confirmed that a) Victoria Azarenka and Tamira Paszek are really the names of two tennis players, b) Azarenka won 1 and 3, and c) the Gruntin' Belarusian lost to Petra Kvit...
18-Year-Old Michael Jordan's Gibberishy, Cocky Love Letter To A Comely Lass Named Laquette
If only we had the grace and verve of Michael Jordan, we've often lamented, we could have been great basketball players. But that powerful desire never extended to love notes, when, clearly, it should have....
If You've Always Wanted To Hunt a Live Human, Here's Your Willing Prey
This here’s the tale of a fella who calls himself “Mork Encino.” Mork, he has faith in his skills as they apply to both eludin’ and survivin’. He launched a website about it on June 20. It’s called “Hunt Me 4 Sport.” As of last night, there were 21 pictures of him sporting overalls in various poses...
Who Wants To See Charlie Davies (Mostly) Naked?
I've been dispatched by the other 90 percent of the Deadspin staff to share with you these photos of Charlie Davies, the starting striker for D.C. United who suffered bleeding in the brain, a ruptured bladder, a broken tibia, femur, and elbow, and multiple facial fractures in a car accident in Octob...
If The Yankees Don't Let Anyone Say Derek Jeter Is Washed Up, He Won't Be Washed Up
Derek Jeter's injury-rehab assignment to Double-A Trenton is due to begin Saturday night. He's going to do great. At least, you'd better say he's going to do great, if you want to keep writing about the Yankees....
South Carolina Athletic Director Welcomes Back Champion Team Of "Ice Cold Cocks"
The University of South Carolina held its second straight welcome home rally for its national champion baseball team on Wednesday. Everyone cheered and said nice things about the Gamecocks, and then it was Athletic Director Eric Hyman's turn to speak. Hyman said some more nice things, and then he ...
Period Etiquette: How To Menstruate Politely
Starting around middle school, many of us learn that periods are awkward. They require special behaviors and products, some of which we need to perform or purchase in public, and yet we're supposed to keep them totally private. Also, there is blood everywhere. But never fear — we're here to help you...