e Page 7956 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cockblocked By Old Yeller. GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Liverpool FC Chairman Admires Winning Attitude Of The Boston Rod Sex
*Consults Freud textbooks*...
Per Bill James's Pitching Metric, Tim Lincecum Was More Dominant Than Don Larsen, Roy Halladay
Quoth Bill James's Game Score metric, Tim Lincecum (96) was more dominant yesterday than Roy Halladay (94) in his no-hitter or Don Larsen (94) in his perfect game. It's official: two hits are better than none....
What They're Saying About Brett Favre's Penis Today
Certain outlets have taken this story and run with it; others have refused to touch it with a four-inch pole. Here's how the media is, erm, handling Brett Favre's junk....
Soccer Refs Are The New Windowless Van
Police are on the lookout for a man dressed as a soccer ref—but not actually one—who attempted to get young girls to "go with him." Let's get Koman Coulibaly, just to be safe. [WPVI]...
Last Night's Winner: The Reporter Who Asked Brett Favre About His Wang
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Brian Costello of the New York Post. If Brett Favre furnished us with his cock, then Costello rounded things out with an enormous set of balls....
Shaq Wants A Little Friend Not Named Nate Robinson
Shaq wants to buy the world's smallest horse. Of course he does....
Rod Carew Is Last Aboard The Blyleven Bandwagon
Carew says he'll boycott the Hall of Fame if Blyleven isn't elected. It would have been a grand gesture had he offered anytime in the past ten years, and not prior to the election everyone assumes will put Bert in. [Pioneer Press]...
Rays Fans Just Blue Themselves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Your "Oh Right, There's Another Series" Braves-Giants Open Thread
Can Bobby Cox cap a career of losing in the playoffs with a playoff loss? Will Pablo Sandoval bogart all of Tim Lincecum's Funyuns? These questions and more, will be answered! Talk about it here....
Letter Chiding Baylor Students For Clogging Plumbing System With Semen Is Too Good To Be True, Alas
According to an anonymous tipster, the residence halls at Baylor were recently clogged with semen, leading to this desperate plea from one residence hall's director. Sadly, it's a fake, as our brief conversation with the hilariously put-upon director confirmed....
Your MUSTACHE MUSTACHE MUSTACHE Yankees-Twins Open Thread
Contrary to popular belief, Carl Pavano did not spend four years in New York sitting on his ass. He was waiting, planning, growing, grooming. Here's your space to talk about his facial hair and other things of note....
When Preseason Games Of Grab-Ass Go Wrong
Last night's Raptors-Suns game featured this delightful sequence in which Reggie Evans fouled Grant Hill, which led to the two engaging in a spirited round of ironic ass-slappery. Both players were ejected. Via Skeets....
People Are Definitely Boning At The Commonwealth Games
The bad news: used condoms are clogging toilets and pipes at the Commonwealth Games in Delhi. The good news, according to the organizers: At least people are having safe sex. [Reuters]...
Favre Speaks, Refuses To Address Photos, Voicemails (UPDATED WITH VIDEO)
Brett Favre, on today's report, in response to a question from American hero Brian Costello of the New York Post: "I'm not getting into that. I've got my hands full with the Jets." UPDATE: Kissing Suzy Kolber has the video....
So, How Will Brett Favre Do Monday Night?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Fall Is Here So Groom Yourself, For God's Sake
Dude, no one's buying the "bangin'" scraggle you grew at Burning Man. It's back to school for you and your facial hair! Craft your perfect fall stubble or beard (from 1/64" up to 23/32") with the Philips Norelco Vacuum Stubble and Beard Trimmer Pro....
Your "Who Do You Have Besides Cliff Lee" Rangers-Rays Open Thread
C.J. Wilson? In game two. You sure? Okay, whatever you need to do. Discuss the revenge of DJ Kitty in the comments below....
Brett Favre's Cellphone Seduction Of Jenn Sterger (Update)
In the video here (parts of which are NSFW due to penis photos at the 2:08 mark), you'll see and hear all the strange messages Jenn Sterger received from someone she was led to believe was Brett Favre. [Final update here.]...
10 Or So Minutes Until Dong Time
Apologies for the delay. For the record, I believe the "Croc" may actually be a slipper, one of those buckskin jobs. There also appears to be a sports hernia....