e Page 7965 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rio Ferdinand Refuses To Sit During Flight To Valencia In Order To Protect His Flimsy Back
Before we start, here's an unbelievable stat: Rio Ferdinand has missed 61 of Manchester United's last 103 games. That must be very near, or even worse than, benchmark crock Ledley King?...

Last Night's Winner: Quarterback In A Bra!
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like CFL QB Henry Burris, photographed wearing a bra, with a woman who's not his wife. Oh, and the pictures fell into the hands of the fanbase he spurned....

The Fire Joe Morgan Pledge Drive Is Nearing Its Goal
Ken Tremendous checks in: "$4680 has been donated, so our $5000 is right around the corner." Donate in Mike Celizic's memory to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute or Sloan-Kettering and send a copy of your receipt to [email protected]....

George Will Is Once Again Inflicting His Thoughts About Baseball On America
The line of the day comes courtesy of Charlie Pierce, writing here about the piano recital and Bob Costas smarmathon known as Ken Burns's Tenth Inning: "George Will still talks like your grandmother's underwear drawer."...

That's Not The Ass Of Any Old Ballplayer; That's The Ass Of A Playoff-Spot-Clinching Ballplayer (NSFW-ish)
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Greatest Photo Ever Taken At A Squash Match
The Hartford Courant's Rich Messina snapped this wonderful photo of last year's controversial squash championship, where Trinity's Baset Chaudry knocked off Yale's Kenneth Chan and then proceeded to act like the most vile human being on the planet after his victory....

This Is What Happens When The Commonwealth Games Are Attacked By Monkeys And Snakes
Newspaper ledes you'll hopefully never see in America: "Fierce langur monkeys and snake charmers have been deployed at several Commonwealth Games venues across New Delhi to try to protect athletes and delegates from simian and reptile attack." [NZH](ViaTom Kolak)...

Pete Carroll Cannot Believe The Chargers Kept Kicking To Leon Washington
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: perfectly adequate NFL coach Pete Carroll....

Here's Ted Williams Talking About His Final Home Run
Updike, Schmupdike. Here's The Splendid Splinter in his own words, talking about his last home run, how he knew it was going to happen, and depriving the fans of the hat tip they wanted oh so much....

Stories That Actually Do Kind Of Suck: John Updike On Ted Williams
It's the 50th anniversary of Ted Williams's final game, which means someone, inevitably, will want to talk about John Updike's gooey poetastering all over the pages of New Yorker. Read the story again, if you can bear it, and then explain to me what a "peeping-type Easter egg" is....

Rays Attendance To Mysteriously Spike Tomorrow
The Rays will give out 20,000 free tickets to Wednesday's game. Tampa Bay Fans should really stay home and watch the Ken Burns doc, so they learn that baseball existed before October 2008....

Formerly Censored Dwarf Painting Restored To Full Nudity
This 16th century Italian masterpiece was finally restored to its original butt-nakedness, after having been painted over for being obscene. Oh, and it's a two-sided canvas, so there's a rear view too....

Hockey Agent Gets 10 Percent Of His Client's Goalie Mask
Maple Leafs prospect Jussi Rynnäs's mask features, among other oddities, a photo of his agent. He would have named his kid after him, but Rynnäs's firstborn was sacrificed to his death metal band of choice, as per Finnish law. [Globe and Mail]...

SportsCenter First Is A Milestone For Attractive, Well-Dressed Female Journalists
At noon today, two female SportsCenter anchors handed the baton off to two other women, a first in the show's long history. Truly this is a monumental day in the long struggle for women's rights....

NFL Superperson Ray Lewis Runs with the Bears. Well, a Bear.
And the bear matches the superperson stride for stride. Then it smiles. Then it talks! Then something blows up. Even though they just ran the length of a football field, the bear and the superperson smell fresh and snappy because of Old Spice Showtime Deodorant....

Double Buckner: What Does It Mean?
Here's Gaby Sanchez, and then Dan Uggla exposing their five-holes on the same play. "Good times out there tonight," Uggla joked. Maybe baseball doesn't belong in Florida....

Lamar Odom, Other Kardashian, Trying Very Hard To Make America Puke
That's Lakers' center Lamar Odom getting all 7-minutes-in-heaven with his wife, Other Kardashian. They celebrated their first anniversary yesterday. She wrote about it. Excitedly. [KhloeKardashian]...

I Hope You Die, Mr. Weatherman
Bit of a shorter funbag today. I had back surgery yesterday. Fuck off and leave me alone. Your letters:...

Qatar’s Proposed World Cup 2022 Stadiums Make Wembley Look Slightly Rubbish
Qatar have got previous when it comes to mind-blowing designs for stadiums, but nothing has come close to what they're proposing in their Zinedine Zidane-backed World Cup 2022 bid....

Shaun Smith's Package Grabbing: A Music Video Retrospective
Shaun Smith's humorous, ungentlemanly conduct the last two weeks has been an endless source of joy, so why not set video of Smith's junk twisting to Da Lench Mob's "All On My Nut Sac?"...