e Page 7992 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

TRANSFER FUCKING DEADLINE
Sigh. Right, you know the drill. Expect desolate shots of training ground gates, some unlucky chump standing in the pissing rain bringing you literally no news, and congregations of unemployed celebrating transfer coups....

Sportswriter Fired For Being A Homer Takes Job With Favorite Team
Remember Pete Pelegrin, the Miami Herald's FIU beat writer (and "FIU evangelist," in the words of a coworker) who publicly and spectacularly quit the paper because they were giving Miami more coverage? He's now working for FIU. Synergy!...

Mike Wise, Twitter, And The Art Of Breaking News
This morning Wise announced his monthlong suspension from the Washington Post for his fake Twitter "scoop" that was intended to sucker other outlets into publishing it. In the end, his failing wasn't underestimating the media, but rather misunderstanding the medium....

Another Icelandic Goal Celebration, This Time With Toilet Humor
Our love for Stjarnan FC is well-documented, but we think their new "three-man toilet" routine is their best yet. We should also point out that they're just 10 points clear of relegation, so maybe work more on set pieces than celebrations....

Early Winner For Deserved Maiming Of The Year Award
A high school student is suing his teacher and the city after he nearly electrocuted himself after hooking his nipples up to electrical clamps in shop class. Also, D batteries are not butt plugs. [AP]...

Last Night's Winner: Mira Sorvino's Reputation
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Mira Sorvino's reputation. Though she might be less—oh, let's say—inhibited than others, she definitely did not sleep with Matthew Berry's friend. So says Matthew Berry....

Cut Loose: A Montage Of Movie Dancing
Sure this video starts off as a montage of people opening and closing doors, but by the time it's over, you've seen one of the better tributes to cinematic two-stepping. Enjoy. [Kottke, via Skeets]...

DeAngelo Hall Really Really Wanted A Hot Dog
The Redskins cornerback was a little hungry during his last preseason game against the Jets. So much so that he asked a fan to make a food run for him....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Sean Salisbury
Now that his lawsuit against Deadspin and Daulerio has finally been dropped, allow me to take this opportunity to finally speak about the issues between this Website and the one-time thespian. So, [clears throat] ......

Brandon Spikes Sex Tape Is $1,500 Well-Spent (Confirmation Update)
The Chatroulette performance that wasn't quite up to our athlete dong standards finally finds a home, at WorldStarHipHop. Judge for yourself if it's actually him, but don't do it at the office. [NSFWBOOBSANDPENIS]...

Roger Federer's Absurd Between-The-Legs Shot
It's startlingly similar to his tweener at his US Open opener last year. Federer doing dark sorcery: Flushing's greatest tradition....

Cardinals Website Doesn't Give Two Hits About Copyediting
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Carmelodrama, Day Two: Twitter Won't Say Whether He Got Hacked
When the Lord's Day began, talk was that Carmelo Anthony issued a $5K "bounty" involving the Slapping of Kat Stacks' "Pigeon Face Ass" overnight. Specifically ......

Broncos Fans Try To Make The Tebow Haircut A Thing
Two men wearing matching Tebow jerseys as well as matching "Friar Tuck"-style bald caps and wigs. What isn't there to like about this picture?...

Let's All Watch <em>Around The Horn</em> Uncomfortably Discuss The Mariotti Mess
Around The Horn returned from its fortuitously timed hiatus today to finally discuss Mariotti the best way they know: with a timer and a scoring system, and by barking like trained seals....

Mike Wise Wishes He Didn't Do That Thing He Did
Mike Wise attempts to do some damage control after, you know, making stuff up. He got Florio heated, so we'll forgive him a little bit....

Roger Clemens Appears Dopey, Unconcerned In Mug Shot
Floral tie, frosted tips and rakish grin? Someone just pleaded not guilty to six counts of perjury! [The Smoking Gun]...

Everyone Still Really Pissed At The Marlins
The outrage over the Marlins and all that money they pretended not to be making continues unabated. Meanwhile, it has occurred to Dan Le Batard that a businessman might be both good at his job and an unscrupulous shit....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Owen Hart
Every week or so, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Owen Hart, who fell to his death in 1999 during a WWE pay-per-view event....

Battered Sideline Reporter Soldiers On, Wears Helmet
Last week, the world laughed at Sky Sports Germany's Jessica Kastrop for getting knocked in the head with an errant soccer ball. So she took the necessary precautions against a repeat performance with the help of a funny looking helmet....