e Page 8015 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

What In God's Name Is Tim Duncan Doing To That Whale?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Brett Favre's Mom Likes The Story About His Sexting Habits
Here's an odd report from a reader who follows Bonita Favre's Facebook page. Apparently she's not too savvy when it comes to social media tools, or she just gets a kick out of her son's supposed Croc-out-with-his-cock-out habit....

Read This: The Pelé-Maradona Rivalry, Explained
The great Brian Phillips, on the Pelé-Maradona rivalry: "Pelé ... offers the child's narrative of sports heroism, an exuberant conquest of a just and welcoming world. Maradona ... represents the adolescent narrative: an unjust world forced to yield to a superior ego."...

UCF Locker Room Is No Place For A Woman, Scantily-Clad Or Otherwise
Central Florida is abuzz and atwitter about a steamy locker room photoshoot starring a UCF alumna and former Playboy Playmate. (That's one lady, not two different people. It's not that steamy.)...

EA Sports Co-Founder On The Key To <em>Madden</em>'s Success: Getting Players To Play With Themselves
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: co-founder of EA Sports, Jack Hiestand....

The NFL's Hall Of Fame Enshrinement Speeches, AutoSummarized
For those who missed all the speechifying Saturday in Canton—during which Rickey Jackson made Emmitt Smith sound like Cicero, and Chris Berman spent 22 minutes committing what I'm certain were several felony counts of public masturbation—we offer a summary....

A Brett Favre Musical Tribute: "See My Dong"
Words fail me. Here's a video that was just sent to our tips box: a little ditty called "See My Dong" to the tune of Lionel Richie's "All Night Long," which is just pure goddamn genius....

How Jim McMahon Terrorized New Orleans During Super Bowl XX
Today's selection comes from Michael Weinreb's book, Bigger Than The Game: Bo, Boz, the Punky QB, and How the '80s Created the Modern Athlete. This excerpt offers a glimpse into the aforementioned punkyness of the Bears' eccentric QB....

Great Moments In Brick Wall Anthemry: “Orion”
All during Music Week at Deadspin, I'll be writing about great asskicking songs of yore. Today, it's "Orion" by Metallica....

"Romo's Bitch" Call Sign Irks Naval Aviator
Here's a pretty amusing story from "After Action: Your Military Sports Report, " where one young aviator becomes saddled with the call sign "Romo's Bitch" due to his Cowboy fandom. He is not amused....

Cal Second-String Wide Receiver Is Third-Rate Rapper
For senior Alex "Loggy" Lagemann, the upcoming football season couldn't have come at a worse time: the addition of practices, study halls, and games to his schedule will only take valuable time away from his true passion: making awful, awful rap music....

After Photography Ban, Soccer Game Covered By Cartoonist
League One side Southampton banned all photographers from their stadium for this weekend's match. The visiting team's newspaper handled it well, reducing the comical situation to, well, a comic....

Javier Hernandez’s Face Scores Important Goal Against Chelsea
On your first day at work, it's all about keeping your head down, not attracting too much attention to yourself, and definitely not doing anything clumsy/humiliating....

A Musical Tribute To Brandon Morrow's Almost No-Hitter
Brandon Morrow became the pitcher he never was for the Mariners yesterday, bedeviling the Tampa Bay Rays and striking out 17 in maybe the most dominant pitching performance of the year. Music via Annie....

World Sauna Championships End In Death
The finals of the annual Sauna Championships in Finland went horribly wrong, with the Russian competitor dying after suffering severe burns from withstanding 230-degree temperatures for six minutes. The Finn retained his title by only having to go to the hospital. [BBC]...

Arrested Colts Lineman Was Drunk, Barefoot, Soiled, In A Ditch
Indianapolis police arrested Colts DT John Gill early Sunday morning after finding him passed out in a ditch, citing him as "disheveled and soiled" in the police report. [AP]...

Weekend Winner: A Brand New PED Excuse
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like our nation's poor, overtrained athletes like Brian Cushing, who says he flunked his drug test only because he worked out so hard....

Desperate For Excitement, Pirates Announcers Melt Down After Big Win
This is Greg Brown (play-by-play) and Steve Blass (childlike enthusiasm) calling the Bucs' walk-off win on Saturday. If Pittsburgh ever has a good season, Blass's head may explode. [h/t Steve]...

To Dan Marino, Jerry Rice Gives A Double F-U
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Time for Quote of the Day Nominations
"Shooting 18-over par is not fun," Tiger Woods who, on Sunday, finished with the highest 72-hole score - 298 - of any PGA Tour event he ever played, even as an amateur. [AP]...