e Page 8028 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mite Fight Broken Up By Mommy
These small children — teammates — get into it with a shove and a slash, and one drops the gloves, ready to go. That's when young JJ's mother plays enforcer....

Intern Horrors: An NBA Legend Made Me Trash A Dressing Room
Welcome back to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein the lowest of the workforce low air grievances or have grievances aired against them. This week, dealing with legends, joyriding on a motorized Razr scooter, and working a car to death....

Here's A Trick Shot Mix-Tape Put Together By Some Trick-Shooting Moppets
Chip-shot shot, baseball-bat shot, off-the-curb shot, and countless others? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. The BlakRoc (Black Keys, Mos Def, and Jim Jones) soundtrack is the icing on the cake. [WFNY]...

Everyone, Everywhere Has To Do Some Cheating, Says NFL Agent
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: NFL agent Ralph Cindrich....

What Would Happen If You Drank 13 Beers While Running The San Francisco Half-Marathon?
Everything you'd expect, really: puking, dizziness, drunk-plus-runner's-high euphoria, disgusted stares from onlookers. But this young man did it. Why? BECAUSE HE THOUGHT HE COULD. [Exercising While Intoxicated]...

Joe Posnanski Brings Himself To Say A Few Nice Things About Mitch Albom
Of a guy he doesn't much like, Posnanski writes: "Mitch Albom inspired me to become a sportswriter. Mitch Albom inspired many of my friends to become sportswriters....[H]e is one of the most influential sportswriters in the history of American newspapers."...

Paraguay's Cellphone-Boobs Girl Robbed, Probably Shouldn't Have Shown World Where She Hid Her Cellphone
Larissa Riquelme—bust-out star of the World Cup, "owooga"-inducer, and cellphone-placement-innovator—was robbed by "bandidos" while vacationing in Rio, losing her cellphone, passport, and other "documents." More pictures, including where she's been hiding her phone Post-World Cup after the jump....

Sexxxy Pitino Extortion Trial Kicks Off With Blowjobs For Everyone
We're barely done with opening arguments, and Karen Sypher's already accused of two blowjobs-for-favors, a one-night-stand, a marriage, an abortion, and, oh yeah, extortion. We're not sure our delicate sensibilities can handle the afternoon session. [Kentucky Sports Radio]...

Chris Paul Is No Less Of A Cocksucker Than LeBron James
Despite their "productive" meeting today, Chris Paul still wants out of New Orleans. The breakup-in-progress has been very public, and very heartbreaking for Hornets fans. So why do we give Paul a pass while we continue to pile on LeBron?...

Poorly Planned Robbery Leads To Drexel Hoops Arrests
Two Drexel players, Jamie Harris and Kevin Phillip, turned themselves in to Philadelphia police today and now face armed robbery charges after their attempt to "score a big stash of cash" from a female Drexel student's apartment last Wednesday....

Deadspin Classic: Stephon Marbury Is Puzzled By My Godlessness
Contrary to earlier reports out of China, Stephon Marbury says he's still holding out hope of signing with the Heat. Three years ago, I sat down with Marbury, and the two of us discussed other providential matters....

Where Does Sergio Kindle Rank On A List Of Great Falling-Down-Stairs Moments?
The Ravens rookie tumbled down not one, but two flights of stairs. He's in stable condition with a head injury, and will be fine. Kindle, LB, Texas. MUST IMPROVE: basic motor functions....

Wilderness Unsurprisingly Impedes Insane Wilderness Marathon
Eric Strabel was on pace to shatter the record of the Crow Pass Crossing wilderness marathon in the Chugach Mountain region of Alaska when a bear "surprised him on the trail." Then he got lost. Then a moose blocked the trail. The Crow Pass marathon is a 24-mile sprint through mountains and forest...

Texas To Sponsor The Very Power Of The Earth Itself
Fresh off approving water bottles shaped like the campus tower (you know, the one from which Charles Whitman killed 14 people), UT is partnering with an energy company to sponsor Longhorn Electricity and Longhorn Natural Gas. [SBJ]...

Madden Soundtrack Revealed, No More Shitty Pop-Punk
Through torturing America with the likes of Yellowcard and Good Charlotte, Madden 11 will go with the old stadium standbys: Crazy Train, Song 2, Rock and Roll Part 2, and the like. So, overplayed, but the classic kind of overplayed. [EA]...

Weekend Winner: The Dan Haren Swindle
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Angels, who shoplifted Dan Haren out of Arizona and so thoroughly snookered the Diamondbacks that someone should check if Chase Field is encased in aluminum siding....

The "Greatest Ultimate Frisbee Catch of All Time" (UPDATE)
I don't see any reason to argue about that statement. Somebody find me information on this skinny guy with the bald spot laying himself out. He could be the love child of Edwin Baptiste and Tyrone Prothro. [YouTube]...

Monday Morning Psychologist, With Dez Bryant And Roy Williams
Actual headline from actual newspaper: "Dez Bryant Refuses To Carry Roy Williams' Shoulder Pads." So while this may not be a big story, the media's damn sure they're going to make it one. So let's analyze!...

Martellus Bennett Becomes Latest Player To Have Dong Shots Exposed By Scorned Female
Last week, Cowboy beat reporters wondered why Bennett was absent from the first few days of mini-camp. Bennett admitted yesterday he sprained his ankle doing "jump-ball" drills. Today, a cellphone pic self-portrait of him posing in the shower arrives....

Classy Penalty Causes Something Of An Internet Stir
Without deliberately attempting to garner any sympathy, the internet is a tough place to work — chiefly because you have to compete with nakedness, love makers, and bustling online auction houses before you can get your own tiny slice of the action....