e Page 8083 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Simona Halep Loses The Boobs, Loses
Simona Halep did indeed show up to the French Open significantly less top-heavy than she was a year ago, but she still lost in the first round. Hey, you don't just bounce back from something like that. [Mirror/Daily Mail]...
Is Zach Randolph Indiana's Drug Kingpin?
"According to a probable cause affidavit, a trusted police informant identified Memphis Grizzlie player Zach Randolph as a major marijuana supplier in Indianapolis." Well, that's not so shocking. Oh, you meant supplying to people other than Zach Randolph?...
Do You Believe In Unexplained Mystical Phenomenon?
Can Orlando continue to keep things interesting? Or will Boston continue to annoy everyone by being Boston? Consider the possibilities as you settle in for another night of learning and loving. Unless there's something I don't know about. Okay, then......
Yankees Fans Pull Ahead In Basebrawl Standings
Ah, spring. When a young man's fancy turns to getting loaded and fighting other young men at a sporting event. This video, taken at a recent Rays-Yankees game covers all the hits: a brief brawl, people shouting "YouTube," and finger-pointing galore....
It Appears 50 Cent Went On His Own Public Humiliation Diet
Mr. Cent went from a jacked 214 lbs. to 160 in nine weeks to play a cancer-stricken football player in "Things Fall Apart." It does not mention if he drank a fuckload of green tea. (H/T Gillin.) [ThisIs50]...
College Baseball's Going To Fool Around With A Shot Clock
Today the SEC will begin using a scoreboard-mounted clock in an effort to speed up bases-empty situations during its conference tournament. Oh, please let it go off with a thunderous foghorn....
Some 24-Year-Old Guy Is Getting Mike Brown's Calls
Note to various NBA personnel directors and well-wishers: You know why Mike Brown isn't returning your phone calls? A guy named Rajesh Kumar....
Tampa Bay Ray Falls Prey To Actual Stingray
Sean Rodriguez was stung in the surf off of St. Pete Monday. Geez, lose the first two to Boston, and already the ocean is rebelling. Or maybe the Ray was just another Northeast transplant. [St. Petersburg Times]...
Taunting Tony Horton The Day After He Slit His Wrists: A Cleveland Fan Repents
The following is excerpted from Top of the Order: 25 Writers Pick Their Favorite Baseball Player of All Time, edited by Sean Manning and featuring essays by Matt Taibbi, Stefan Fatsis, and others. Here's Scott Raab, writing about former Indian Tony Horton....
Dear Commenters: See This Guy? He Was Mauled By A Fucking Bear. You're Next.
Goddammit. It's been almost one year since that glorious day where many of you hopeless turds were swiftly tossed out of this place for prolonged cuntiness and now that time is here again. FUCKING RUN....
What’s This? A Video BRIMMING With Rooney Goals?
As reported in today's Sun, Wayne Rooney shall be saving his goals for the World Cup. It's a very kind gesture by the young man......
An Interview With Mike Cetera, My Literary Cubs Foil
If you've read Are We Winning?, you know my friend Mike, a Cubs fan who goes to the game with my father and me and worries about his young son becoming a Cubs fan. Well, he still exists....
Your US World Cup Squad Open Thread
In just a few minutes, the Yanks' 23-man World Cup roster will be announced live on ESPN. Use this space to weigh in on Onyewu's fitness, Davies's exclusion, and whether Edson or Herculez has the best first name....
Ozzie Guillen Has No Sympathy For Clevelanders
Guillen was nice enough to autograph a ball for an Indians fan before last night's game. He also put a personalized message on there. (Other side, just as knife-twisting, after the jump.)...
Tampa Bawww: Scribes Cry Foul Over Northeast Super Bowl
As soon as Roger Goodell announced that the 2014 Super Bowl would be played at the new Meadowlands Stadium, our nation's finest sportswriters hit the panic button. But lets bring them in from the cold with a little, you know, logic....
Last Night's Winner: The Stupid Zone Defense
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Phoenix Suns' 2-3 zone, which has thus far discombobulated the Lakers and which is otherwise a regrettable development for hoopish fops like me....
Albert Haynesworth Was In Love With A Stripper (Until She Got Pregnant)
So now he's not. The Brooklyn woman met Haynesworth at the Super Bowl, but he dumped her in March when she got in the family way. She's suing for $10 million, which is chump change for Dan Snyder employees. [NY Post]...
Target Field Squirrel Delays Game, Attacks Infielder
The Twins game was stopped in the fourth inning, as an errant squirrel made his way to the field. Brendan Harris nearly met his death, with nasty, big, pointy teeth....
After Seeing This Promo Pitch, Who Wouldn't Want To Go On A Cruise With Rick Dempsey?
Walkoff Walk discovered this gem of a YouTube video where one cadence-challenged pitchman tries to sell this Rick Dempsey (himself!) luxury cruise. You will. Talk like. This. All day. [WalkoffWalk]...