e Page 8111 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: Marian Hossa
LeBron is good. How good? He won last night without even playing a game- OR EVEN GOING OUT AT ALL! So, click through for the real winner-...

Well, This Guy Is Happy For His Friend
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

It Was a Long Day For Oregon's LeGarrette Blount
Here's Blount enjoying what most of us would consider a decent Saturday - relaxing with the family, watching sports on t.v. Difference is, most of us weren't being shown on national television, waiting for a draft call that never came....

Angels Closer Brian Fuentes, Living The Dream
From CBS Sports' Fantasy News site. Thanks to the number of you who sent this in....

Lawrence Taylor Doesn't Recall Much From His Draft Day
Which he blames on the 41 beers he says he drank (in fairness, they were Coors Lights). I wonder what he's drunk on in this video?:...

Jose Canseco Particularly Concerned With Government-Ordered Extermination
Canseco, never one to filter his thoughts on Twitter, outdid himself this week. Sure, it's all likely part of some desperate attempt to drum up publicity, but...uh...damn. You're welcome, I guess. High(?)lights below:...

Jason Campbell Traded to the Raiders, LenDale White and Leon Washington Go to the Seahawks
Said Campbell to ESPN: "I talked to [Al] Davis, and he... wants me to help their team to a new level." Presumably Davis meant the 9th level, so he can take over for Lucifer in a frozen lake of ice....

New 49er Taylor Mays Implies Pete Carroll Broke Some Sort of Vague Promise to Draft Him
The second rounder on Carroll's decision to take Texas's Earl Thomas over him with Seattle's 14th pick: "I understand it's a business, but with it being a business, you have to be honest." Wait, isn't that bill still being debated?...

Caps' Player Removes Own Tooth
After catching a stick in the maw during Friday's game against the Habs, Eric Belanger performed a little self-dentistry. He then entered into a gentleman's agreement with Kevin Kennedy to divvy up our girlfriends....

Fake Poop, Men In Dresses, Merril Hoge, And A Pissed-Off Steelers Fan: Killing Time At The NFL Draft
The NFL Draft is usually a hot bed of zaniness...inside. With a few cameras, some cash, and a Ziploc of fake poop, I set off for Radio City on Thursday to document the festivities at street level. Photos by Joseph Nolfo....

Last Night's Winner: Ex-MLB Managers Who Take Down Nutjobs on Planes
In sports, everyone is a winner - some people just win better than others. Like former Red Sox and Rangers skip (and current Rays broadcaster) Kevin Kennedy, whose moustache isn't the only part of him that kicks ass....

Old People: Still Not Listenin'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

Your NFL Draft Open Thread, Again
The three-day draft appears to be an unqualified success for the NFL's ratings, as there are plenty of intriguing players left that people will tune in to see. Remaining names include Jimmy Clausen, Colt McCoy and Tim Tebow. Wait, what?...

Suddenly, Everyone's Saying Mean Things About Bryce Harper
Kevin Goldstein talked to some baseball-types about Chosen Person Bryce Harper, and good lord do they sound like a couple high school girls passing around a slam book....

Dear Pittsburgh: It's Just Hockey
Police say a Penguins fan killed his wife and burned down his house after an argument over staying up late to watch yesterday's 3OT game. So that's Pascal Leclaire's first playoff start, and first accessory to murder charge. [WPXI]...

Mike Keenan Thinks You're Number One: A Weekly Roundup From The Tips Forum
We get many fantastic tips in our inbox and from the #tips forum. Some are not so great. These are some of those #tips we specifically overlooked or ignored. All apologies....

Paralympic Curler Busted For Fake Viagra
Jim Armstrong, the skip of Canada's gold medal winning team, was arrested for trafficking counterfeit erectile dysfunction drugs. Sounds like he was just trying to help other people get their stones in the house. [Vancouver Sun]...

And "Comedy Week" Comes To A Close With An Angry Email From Sarah Silverman
Predictably, my littler temper tantrum about the Sarah Silverman chat did not escape her notice. She justifiably tore me a new asshole for my comments. Let's excerpt a portion of her email....

"The Homo Quota"—Inside The World Of Gay Softball
Earlier we wrote about three bisexual men suing the Gay World Series for excluding them because they "weren't gay enough." Let's examine the lengths organizers will go to to keep the sport gay, and how teams get around the rules....

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Yokozuna
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: Yokozuna, who died of a heart attack in 2000....