ea Page 1035 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cuban Pitcher Cionel Perez On Signing With The Astros: "I Feel Abused By This System"
It can be a little dubious when professional athletes making literal millions complain about being treated unfairly. But within the highly skewed relative universe of superstar signing bonuses, international baseball amateurs have a distinctly viable grievance....
Yaya Touré Catches Drunk Driving Rap After Unwittingly Drinking Spiked Diet Coke
It was a surprise to many to learn that Yaya Touré had been charged with drunk driving a few weeks ago, seeing as the Manchester City midfielder famously doesn’t drink alcohol. We now know that all of this caught Touré himself similarly unaware, as he didn’t even know he had been drinking the night...
What Does The U.S. Department Of Energy Do?
The Department of Energy (DOE) is a Cabinet-level department in the United States government, created in 1977. It is a descendant of—and consolidates the functions of—several predecessor agencies, among them the Energy Research and Development Administration (ERDA), which was itself a descendant of ...
Triple H: Donald Trump Is Unclear On Whether Wrestling Is Real<em></em>
Back in 2007, WWE ran a storyline that culminated with CEO Vince McMahon being blown up in a limo. You don’t need me to tell you that McMahon is still alive and was not actually blown to pieces, because you aren’t a moron who thinks wrestling is real. Apparently, the same cannot be said for our futu...
Steaming Mad Luke Walton Curses Out Officials After Ejection
It took fewer than eight minutes for Luke Walton to turn into a profane, suit-wearing Daffy Duck and blow his top tonight at Monty McCutcheon and his officiating crew over a missed call. Walton was infuriated after bit of wrestling from DeMarcus Cousins, and he teed off on McCutcheon for a considera...
Rick Perry's Glasses Qualify Him For Important Science Post, Building Nukes<em></em><em></em>
Rick Perry, a swaggering idiot who found a pair of glasses on the street one day, is about to become the head of the Department of Energy, according to CBS News. The Department of Energy’s job right now is to develop the next generation of nuclear weapons. What this means practically speaking, of co...
Shea McClellin Pulled Off A Perfect Leap Over The Ravens' Offensive Line
Malcolm Butler made a perfect deflection on third down to put the Ravens’ best player (kicker Justin Tucker) on the field for a 34-yard field goal attempt. Tucker missed his first field goal attempt of the year on the attempt, but it was through no fault of his own. Patriots linebacker Shea McClelli...
Nike Joins The Quest For A Sub Two-Hour Marathon
In a brilliant height-of-the-Christmas-sales-season marketing move, Nike announced via two breathless press releases, in Runner’s World and Wired, that they are entering the sub two-hour marathon game. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: Flawless
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. I’m with some flawless bitches because they be mobbin’ pretty....
Tell Us About Your Fantasy Football Playoffs
The fantasy football playoffs have arrived, which means that the bonings hurt even more....
My Combo Of The Year
It’s time to announce my combo of the year. ...
Craziest People In New York City Located
You can rent yourself a perfectly spacious one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn or Queens for well under $2,000. Or not!...
Here's The Champions League Round Of 16 Draw
Now that we’ve gotten past a pretty boring group stage, we can start looking forward to the real excitement in the Champions League with the start of the knockout rounds. As you can see, there are lots of intriguing matchups....
Cardell Hayes Found Guilty Of Manslaughter For Killing Will Smith
After five hours of deliberations, a New Orleans jury has convicted Cardell Hayes of manslaughter and attempted manslaughter after a shooting in April that left former Saints star Will Smith dead and Smith’s wife Racquel Smith hospitalized....
Deadspin Up All Night: Cause And Effect
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....
Deshazor Everett Lays Out Darren Sproles Before He Can Even Catch The Punt
Eagles running back and return man Darren Sproles didn’t appear to signal for a fair catch on a punt in the fourth quarter, but he wasn’t even able to attempt to field the ball, as Skins cornerback Deshazor Everett ran him over. ...
Deadspin Up All Night: I Love To Watch Things On TV
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. It’s getting cold outside....
Here's A Weird Hockey Move: A Headbutt To The Crotch
Because why skate normally when you can lower your head to barrel directly into your opponent’s crotch instead? ...
NFL: Supporting Kanye West Does Not Qualify As A Charitable Cause
For one game only, the NFL allowed players the freedom to express support for charities in the “My Cause, My Cleats” campaign last week. Many players chose organizations with a personal connection (Brandon Marshall and Project Borderline for borderline personality disorder, Ryan Shazier and the Nati...