ea Page 1112 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

FIFA’s New President Just Gave Himself More Power Than Sepp Blatter Ever Had
When we supposed what a Gianni Infantino FIFA presidency would look like back when he won the office in February, we saw visions of a celebrity-friendly, photo op-ready, travel-loving, money-giving, but basically powerless tenure. In some ways, this has been borne out already in his still-budding te...

Bob Bradley's Le Havre Miss Out On Promotion To Ligue 1 By One Goal
Aww hell. Bob Bradley, former USMNT coach, took over French second-division club Le Havre in November and got the team off and running towards promotion to Ligue 1. Heading into today, Le Havre trailed Metz by three points and six goals. To make it to a top European league for the first time, Bradle...

Barbecue Side Dishes, Ranked
It’s Friday afternoon and it’s rained for 900 consecutive days. Let’s fight about ranking barbecue side dishes. Are you ready? Here we go:...

Korean Ballplayer Bunts His Way To A Stand-Up Double
Lee Dae-hyung, outfielder for the KT Wiz, is here with another reminder that the KBO is a very entertaining baseball league....

Czech Refs Show Up To Work Drunk, Stumble And Piss All Over The Field, Get Fired
Not all refereeing positions are made equal. Running around with the players in the middle of the action as the head ref is probably cool, but being parked on the sideline as an assistant must be boring. Two Czech men cast in these less-than-glamorous roles decided to spice up their day by getting s...

Pekka Rinne Smashed The Shit Out Of His Stick, And Yeah I Get It
The Sharks’ dream Game 7 was, necessarily, a nightmare for Nashville. Or: You don’t lose an elimination game 5-0, getting outshot 17-3 in the first and only managing 20 shots on goal of your own all night, without just about everything going wrong....

Move Over Hank The Dog, There's A New Baseball Dog In Town
Hank the Dog, the Brewers’ pooch who may or may not be a hoax, was the most famous dog in baseball until this week, when the Savannah Bananas found this good doggy abandoned in their stadium parking lot. Her name is Daisy and she’s extremely good and handsome....

An Alaskan High School Football Player Let The Results Of A Bear Hunt Decide Where He'd Play In College
What’s your process for making a really tough decision? Do you flip a coin? Consult the wisdom of your parents? Maybe you make a spreadsheet. Chase Ferris of Palmer, Alaska had to decide between playing college football for the University of Mary or attending the University of Wyoming. So he went on...

Deadspin Up All Night: How Bad Did He Bite Her
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Yeesh....

Lower-League Spanish Team Unveils Kit That Makes Players Look Like They've Been Skinned Alive
You’ve probably never heard of CD Palencia, and probably never will again. The club plays in Spanish fourth division, though they currently are in the playoffs for promotion to the third. To support their promotion hopes, they’ve unveiled a new kit. It is ... strange....

Serena Williams Ate Some Fancy Dog Food And Then Crapped A Bunch
We live in wonderful times. Thanks to the miracle of technology, we are able to enjoy this first-hand account of the time world-famous tennis star Serena Williams decided to eat a spoonful of fancy dog food, which caused her to shit her brains out....

Dayton Center Steve McElvene Dies At 20
Dayton men’s basketball player Steve McElvene reportedly died at his family’s home today. He was 20....

Why Are Bad Laws Still Protecting Penn State And Temple?
The Penn State defense is so well-practiced, so perfected, that by now you can practically write it yourself. The accusations are unsubstantiated; too much time has passed; nobody remembers; there are no records. The language changes from email to email and statement to statement as the university b...

How To Battle (And Beat) GERD
For the past few months, I’ve been engaged in a pesky war with my stomach. Whenever I’m considerate enough to send down some tasty food and drinks, it decides to act like an ungrateful brat and spit my offerings back up, with a little additional bilious acid for good measure....

A Crying Jordan History Separates The Man From Meme
In an all-time feat of prestige media acknowledging dumb internet, the New Yorker’s website has offered an enjoyable account of the Crying Jordan meme and the famous basketball guy it happens to feature. It is partly an origin story for the teary face, this inexhaustible wellspring of humor whose pl...

Ricardo Lockette Will Retire After Serious Neck Injury
This is one of the reasons athletes should never be begrudged for trying to get as much money as they can while they still can: their lifetime earning power can vaporize in a moment, at any moment. Seahawks wide receiver and special teamer Ricardo Lockette will announce his retirement this afternoon...

Columbus Crew Trade Away Top Scorer Following Dumb Penalty-Kick Beef
Now, I don’t know much about MLS, but trading your top scorer coming off a season where he tied the league lead for most goals all because he got into an argument about who would take a penalty in what should’ve been a blow-out seems really, really weird to me. And yet these appear to be the facts o...

Orlando Magic Head Coach Scott Skiles Unexpectedly Resigns
Orlando Magic head coach Scott Skiles has suddenly resigned, according to the team: ...

Report: Everton To Fire Roberto Martínez Today
Well, that didn’t take long. After just three seasons at Everton—the first of which was a rousing success and seemed to mark the manager and club for coming greatness—Roberto Martínez is reportedly all set to be fired today. It’s both understandable and a little strange. Update: It’s official, he’s ...

MLS Player Knocked Unconscious After Getting Flattened By Keeper
Vancouver Whitecaps forward Masato Kudo was going for a long ball when Matt Lampson lit into him with a vicious hit, flooring Kudo and rendering him temporarily unconscious while trying to scoop the ball up....