ea Page 1698 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Newcastle's First Goal On The Season Was This Curling Strike From Demba Ba
Demba Ba was slow to start his 2011-2012 campaign and then disappeared entirely from Newcastle United's scoresheet after the month of February. It deprived us glorious goals like this one he scored against Manchester United in February....
A Freaking Baby Has Witnessed Two Perfect Games This Season
The kid's name is Bode Dockal and he was at Safeco Field for both Phil Humber's perfect game for the White Sox back in April and more recently, Felix Hernandez's gem earlier this week against the Rays....
Man Escorted Out Of Comerica Park For Being So Drunk He May Have Pissed Himself
Here, for your convenience, are all the classic signs of a person who has had too much to drink. Wobbly knees. Friend struggling to help the person home. Others delighting in the person's misfortune. A brush with law enforcement. Oh, and piss-soaked shorts. [Sweater Punch]...
What To Make Of Ryan Lochte
"It's like having a pet dog for a long time. You get attached to it, and when it dies you miss it."...
Is This The Most Terrifying Weather Alert In The History Of Television?
It's midnight. You're snug in your Nashville bed, or maybe on the sofa with your lips wrapped around a crack pipe, I don't know, but whatever excuse you have for watching Jimmy Fallon, that's it....
Deadspin Up All Night: Bigger Than Gasoline
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Sean and Tim will be among those here this weekend for all the meaningful baseball and meaningless football. Hope yours is fun....
Dead Letters: "Congrats You Unimaginative Retard"
Subject: Too Funny...
What's The Deal With Football Players And Barbecue Sauce?
Many ex-athletes have entered the food industry—or, more specifically, the meat industry—and in this week's excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen podcast, Josh Levin ponders the marketing strategies of former NFL players who have come out with their very own barbecue sauce, the ultimate meat acc...
Your <em>Expendables 2</em> Power Rankings
The Expendables 2 has 11 names on its poster only because there is not room, either in poster space or running time, for 47. It is New Years Eve with testicles. It is the turducken of action movies. Rather than review the film, I thought I'd just rank those 11 names, in ascending order of Expendable...
Discussion Discussion: Surrounded By Assholes
If you've read our previous Discussion Discussions, or the Comment Of The Fortnight-Ish columns before those, by now you're likely familiar with how they work: we artfully (we hope) and circuitously (uh, yeah) lay out an argument for how best to conduct oneself down there, and hopefully by the end y...
Cockblocked By Pot Brownies!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase three heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Bryce Harper's Advice To Children: "Losing's Not Fun" And "Be As Sexy As You Can"
Bryce Harper is giving back. He hosted a baseball clinic yesterday, and it turned out to be a pretty big story in the D.C. area. Yeah, yeah, the camp was free for more than 200 children. Right, right, Harper was swell enough to swing by on his day off. OK, OK, Harper presented a giant check to a loc...
Guantanamo Detainee Wants LeBron James To Apologize To Cleveland
Afghan Muhammed Rahim, a former translator for Osama Bin Laden, spent a long time in a CIA secret prison before being moved to Guantanamo Bay in 2008. Which is to say, he hasn't had a lot of time to check in with NBA League Pass. But even Rahim couldn't let "The Decision" pass by without a comment....
Misty May-Treanor Gets A Wheaties Box—Without Kerri Walsh Jennings (UPDATE)
Good morning, Kerri Walsh Jennings! What's for breakfast? Oh, just a big steaming bowl of poop, courtesy of General Mills. No Wheaties for you....
TV Report On Texas High School Football Team Wins State Title For Repeating The Same Cliché
As Texas's defending Class 1A, Division I champions, the Mason Punchers are the pride of their central Texas town, population 2,000. But I dunno. I just can't think of the right way to sum up the theme of the Punchers' upcoming season. Maybe someone—the head coach, a couple of players, a reporter—...
Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Pittsburgh Steelers
Some people are fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....
Deadspin Up All Night: Check The Papers And The TV
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik's on his way. There's some baseball. Oh, and a couple of football games that don't count. Talk about 'em down in the discussion, won't you?...
Tape Delay Slaughters Reruns: NBC's Monster Olympic TV Ratings In Context
A weekly feature wherein we contextualize TV ratings for national sports broadcasts. Data via Nielsen and Sports Business Journal's John Ourand. Viewership numbers represent approximate number of persons tuned to a given program; ratings share refers to the percentage of all households using a telev...
The Man Who's Now The Managing Editor Of SI.com Is An Expert On Women's Hair
Sports Illustrated has hired a replacement for SI.com editor Paul Fichtebaum, who was kicked up the chain last month to oversee the integration of the magazine's print and web operations. This morning, the company informed staffers that Matt Bean, the vice president for digital product development...
The Mariners' Double-A Team, Including Felix Hernandez's Brother, Went Nutso When Felix Finished His Perfect Game
Batting practice for the Jackson (Tenn.) Generals ground to a halt yesterday afternoon, as Felix Hernandez closed in on his first career perfecto. The end of the game was played on the scoreboard, and the Mariners' AA affiliate gathered in left field to watch the final few pitches. When Sean Rodri...