ea Page 1699 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Man Who's Now The Managing Editor Of SI.com Is An Expert On Women's Hair
Sports Illustrated has hired a replacement for SI.com editor Paul Fichtebaum, who was kicked up the chain last month to oversee the integration of the magazine's print and web operations. This morning, the company informed staffers that Matt Bean, the vice president for digital product development...

The Mariners' Double-A Team, Including Felix Hernandez's Brother, Went Nutso When Felix Finished His Perfect Game
Batting practice for the Jackson (Tenn.) Generals ground to a halt yesterday afternoon, as Felix Hernandez closed in on his first career perfecto. The end of the game was played on the scoreboard, and the Mariners' AA affiliate gathered in left field to watch the final few pitches. When Sean Rodri...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Cleveland Browns
Some people are fans of the Cleveland Browns. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cleveland Browns. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Brother Of Former Mariner Greg Halman Will Not Face Jail Time For Greg's Murder Because Of Marijuana-Induced Psychosis
Greg Halman didn't get much of a shot in the major leagues. The Dutch-born outfielder had 116 at-bats spread across a few call-ups in 2010 and 2011, hitting .207 with a pair of home runs. Then, in November, the 24-year-old Halman was stabbed to death in the Rotterdam apartment he shared with his you...

Specially Contoured Jeans Designed To Combat Scourge Of "Hockey Ass"
So, here's a real product you can buy that I never thought warranted existence. The hockey apparel-minded folks at Gongshow announced this one back in January, but it has just released its new Hustle & Flow jeans, an otherwise ordinary-looking pair of pants that serve a very specific purpose. We'll ...

Here's What The Scorecard From Felix Hernandez's Perfect Game Looks Like
Dave Sims, who called a fantastic game today for Root Sports, fully embracing the fact that Felix Hernandez was on his way to history and eschewing any ridiculous notions of superstition during the telecast, just posted a photo of his scorecard, and it's astonishing to see. The three boxes (and no m...

Deadspin Up All Night: Tell Me
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Erik's here soon to be with you as you watch baseball and do other stuff....

Felix Hernandez Just Threw A Perfect Game Against The Rays
On Monday, our man Tom Ley wrote about Felix Hernandez, the big-game pitcher who's been deprived of big games because he plays in Seattle. "No one calls him clutch," he wrote, "because his teams have been too wretched to give him even a chance at being clutch. But clutch isn't always about rising ...

Massive 12-Year-Old Too Big For Pee Wee Football, Too Bad At Football For Middle School Football
KDFW reports on the story of Elijah Earnheart, who at the tender age of 12 is already six feet tall and weighs nearly 300 pounds. Elijah wants to play football, but because of his size, he's been banned from his Mequite (Texas) Pee Wee team. Once you get the giggles out over the Fox screengrab of po...

Throwing Up Dip And Learning About Blowjobs: Deadspin's Notes On Summer Camp
I went to Camp Deerhorn in Rhinelander, Wis., every summer for the majority of my adolescence. It was an awesome camp. We got to fire guns. We got to shoot arrows. We got to go on horseback rides. (I’ve never shit my pants with more direct force than the first time I was on a horse and it went from ...

Big East Conference Drops Last Pretense, Hires TV Executive As Commissioner
The Big East hired Mike Aresco to be its commissioner yesterday. Here are actual quotes from the presidents of two of the league's member schools, from the statement announcing the decision:...

The 10 Rules Of Pimping, As Written By An Actual (Alleged) Pimp
Steven McDaniel, of Long Island, NY, was arrested and charged today with running a prostitution and heroin ring. Among the items seized by police was a handwritten list of the "Rule's 2 Da Game of Hoez!!!" Thanks to the Smoking Gun, we proudly present that list, quite sic'd....

Gregg Williams Is Going Backpacking In Northern Thailand
CBS Sports reports that Gregg "Kill The Head" Williams is headed off to "the remote villages of rural Northern Thailand for a backpacking sojourn":...

Red Sox (And Pants) Collapsing In Wake Of Johnny Pesky's Death
Reader Brendan sent this to us from outside Fenway Park last night. Sure, there was no Sox game but a Springsteen concert there last night—how could a sports fan ever know?—but we assume this dude neither knew nor cared....

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Baltimore Ravens
Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Boy Kicked Out Of National Scrabble Championship After Getting Caught With The Worst Cheating Strategy Ever
Division 3 isn't exactly the big time in the Scrabble world—It's roughly the skill level of "any great living-room player out there," says the National Scrabble Association's executive director—but this is still the championship. Not a county championship, not a state championship, but the national ...

A Lady You All Know And Love Examines An Alley Brawl Between Ladies Who Seemingly Hate One Another
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "GIRL FIGHT IN MARISSA ILL." Tonight's commentator: Emma Carmichael, former Deadspinner, current managing editor of Gawker....

Deadspin Up All Night: Dreamed A Long Day
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. You're on your own tonight, so have lots of fun down here with Hard Knocks and the baseball....

Adorable Canadian Child Sends Medal To DQ'd Relay Team, Accurately Describes Canada As "Cold"
Well isn't this fricking precious? Ten-year-old Elijah Porter was heartbroken when the Canadian 4x100 team appeared to take bronze, only to be disqualified for running outside the lane. So Elijah sent a letter to Justyn Warner, Gavin Smellie, Jared Connaughton, and Oluseyi Smith, and included his me...

New WSU Coach Mike Leach Says Pullman Is Like Lubbock: "Both Have Great Airports"
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The new Washington State coach loves life in the Northwest....