ea Page 1791 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Some Guy From Queens Apparently Got Eli And Peyton Manning Tattooed On His Hairy Ass
Writes tipster Derek B., "My buddy got this tattoo Eli giving Peyton a noogie today. He's a huge Giants fan."...
This Is One Of Few Quotes That Improves A Story About A Man Who Stole 10,000 Pairs Of Panties
"He smelled them all the time even while driving," said police Major General Saroj Promcharoen. [Daily Telegraph] (H/T Fox5)...
As Cop-Kicker Mugshots Go, This One's Sadly Artistic
"Medena Jones, while driving a green Jeep Grand Cherokee, reportedly hit a parked car and drove away at about 1:50 p.m., according to Manassas police Sgt. Eddie Rivera. Police found Jones driving her car, reportedly intoxicated ... soon afterward. Jones apparently kicked two police officers while a...
Deadspin Up All Night: Take Your Shoes Off
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Little bit of Hickey in a bit. We're raising a glass (or four) for our old pal Emma tonight. Should be fun....
Here's What Happened To That Batshit Crazy Benedictine University Recruiting Video (UPDATE)
UPDATE: The video is back!...
Jay Cutler Is Not A Winner Because He Doesn't Smile At Bears Employees, Writes Crazy Person
I'm not sure where to begin with this column by Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. The headline says it's about Jay Cutler, but the first half of it has nothing to do with Jay Cutler—it's all about Tom Brady and Eli Manning, since they're in the Super Bowl. By the time Telander gets to telling...
A J.P. Morgan Vice President Has Very Specific Tactical Plans For His Rec League Basketball Team
The latest entry in our overwrought emails series comes from the world of high finance... rec-league basketball. A vice president at J.P. Morgan in London is very enthusiastic about the upcoming season. But he's not gonna stand for his players flailing around on the court, like Mike D'Antoni might. ...
Messi's Being Messi Again, And Dani Alves Has A Nuke-Powered Boot
Barcelona holds a 4-3 aggregate edge in the second half of their return trip to Real Madrid in the Copa del Rey, thanks to the illusionist Lionel Messi setting up Pedro for the initial score and then a blistering strike by Dani Alves off a free kick rebound. The goals set up a 4-1 aggregate edge ...
Parents: Don't Put Any Goddamn Candy In The Goodie Bag
I go to a lot of children's birthday parties. These parties are virtually identical. You go to a gym, you take off your kid's shoes, you hand your kid over to the 19-year-old girl making $6 an hour and wearing a bright red or blue shirt with the name of the gym on it (PLAY ZONE! GYMTASTIC! BALLS AND...
Oh, God, "Sources" Are Already Bullshitting Reporters About LeBron Leaving Miami
Here's the mind-bending scenario, as outlined by Sam Amico of Fox Sports Ohio: LeBron is unhappy about being persona non grata in Cleveland, he's unhappy fans around the country have been booing him, and he's unhappy about something in particular with his current digs in South Beach:...
This Vancouver Canucks Fan Is Proud To Be Dating An Edmonton Fan
Your morning roundup for Jan. 25, the day we learned oral sex may or may not kill you. Photo via Puck Daddy. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Whatever You're Doing With Your Life, It's Not As Awesome As The Athletes In This Recruiting Video
I don't care where you matriculated, what you studied, or what honors you graduated with. If you didn't go to Benedictine University, your degree is now useless. ...
The State Of The Union Is Punchy In Front Yards, Trailer Parks And Beyond (NSFW)
Per YouTube uploader kustomcougar, "Cocky neighbor gets his big mouth shut after constant harassment. Then he throws a rock at my brothers truck."...
Deadspin Up All Night: Gold Stars All Around
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Hickey's got a little something quick for you later. Back at it tomorrow....
The Mystery Team Wins: Prince Fielder Signs With The Tigers
Just five days ago, GM Dave Dombrowski said Prince Fielder was "probably not a good fit" in Detroit. That was after C/DH Victor Martinez went down for the year, but with 1B/3B/DH Miguel Cabrera still under contract through 2015. That's a logjam of immovable objects, though the Tigers have indicated ...
This Is What Happens When You Accuse Steven Tyler Of Butchering The National Anthem
Our post Sunday asking whether Steven Tyler's pre-AFC championship performance of the national anthem was the worst ever drew a flood of reader feedback, both in the form of poll responses and in writing. Here's an update on the poll results, as well as a sampling of your reaction to Tyler's perf...
How To Lose Weight Without Wanting To Kill Yourself
I was at the gym this morning and some old British dude started talking to me in the locker room, which is a huge breach of gym locker room protocol and totally freaked me out. Anyway, he's like, "You should watch your feet." And I looked down at my bare feet on the tile floor, and he was like, "Thi...
Ben Roethlisberger Didn't Pay Much To Settle The Lawsuit Against Him
When former Harrah's Lake Tahoe hostess Andrea McNulty settled her sexual assault lawsuit against Ben Roethlisberger, everyone presumed that money changed hands. Both sides were mum, likely bound by a confidentiality agreement, but it seems the NFL is under no such gag order. Pro Football Talk cites...
The Worst National Anthems Ever
These are the five we included in our poll on Sunday. As of this writing, Roseanne Barr's version is the "worst anthem" clubhouse leader by a substantial margin (she has nearly 50 percent of the vote, with Carl Lewis checking in at 28). Facebook users can vote here....
Tom Coughlin And Tom Brady Are Assholes, According To Pastry
Your morning roundup for Jan. 24, the day we could have learned the secrets of Goldman Sachs. Photo via Kyle M. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....