ea Page 1857 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

If You Have To Get Arrested, Driving While Drinking A Beer And Receiving Oral Sex Isn't A Bad Way To Go
Thanks to The Smoking Gun, we can all meet George Howard, a Kentucky man arrested this morning for some shenanigans involving a 2006 Ford on the outskirts of Louisville. Johnny Law intervened after seeing Howard's ride allegedly collide with a curb....

Big Fan Chad McGhee Wants You Join Him To Watch The Knox City Greyhounds Reach For Football Immortality
Much has changed for Chad McGhee since he was hereby nominated for consideration as the biggest high-school football fan in the history of the game. ...

Mexico Rides Strong Pitching To The Top Of Our Unnecessarily Abstruse Little League World Series Power Rankings
Welcome to the second installment of DRURY, our exclusive Little League World Series power ranking and prediction engine. Yesterday's edition was postponed due to the earthquake and lack of interest. The ranking is a composite of the teams' box score statistics and schedule strength—see the original...

The 27 Hottest Employees Of The Venture Capital Firm That's Investing $22 Million In Bleacher Report: A Slideshow
As you know, Oak Investment Partners is lavishing a large sum of money on Bleacher Report. But what is Oak Investment Partners? Who are these people? Why, they're only some of the hottest hotties venturing capital today. Let's have a look....

Samir Nasri Will Not Score Until April
City closed the deal with their 40 million dollar man today, and to celebrate, they had EA Sports put together an image of Nasri scoring his first goal, using the upcoming FIFA 12. Nasri appears to have slipped past Vidic and a very out-of-position Rooney, and City fans probably cannot wait for this...

Sportswriting's Gonna Be OK, Everybody: Bleacher Report Just Secured $22 Million In Venture Capital
Per Darren Rovell, the funding came from Oak Investment Partners. At Bleacher Report, money DOES grow on trees!...

This Is The Bloodied Marine That LSU's Jordan Jefferson Allegedly Kicked In The Face
We were sent this image purporting to be of the good samaritan, returning from Marine Corps training, who rushed to break up a Baton Rouge bar fight and ended up getting pummeled by at least four LSU players. We've been unable to confirm—the cops have instituted a media blackout, to the extent that ...

Samuel Eto'o Will Leave Inter Milan For Obscure Russian Club (And Billions Of Rubles)
Samuel Eto'o, the 30-year-old Cameroonian soccer player, is leaving the glitz and prestige of Serie A's Inter Milan to play "for an obscure club in the violence-wracked Caucasus region of Dagestan, Russia." From Milan, one of the world's fashion capitals, to Dagestan: the land of the mountains. This...

The Ravens' Torrey Smith, In The Safest Place Imaginable, Ran For His Life When The Earthquake Hit
Smith, the Ravens' second-round draft pick out of Maryland, was doing a UM commercial when the earth moved. Owings Mills is 120 miles as the crow raven flies from the epicenter of the quake, so we're sure it was intense. We're also sure that a wide open football field is precisely the safest place...

Leaked Emails Show A <em>Newsweek</em> Reporter Trying To Set A Picky Shaq Up With Some Girls (He Only Wants Rihanna)
As far as we know, Shaquille O'Neal—divorced a few years back—is happy with his comically out-of-proportion lover, Nicole "Hoopz" Alexander....

Brought To You By The Network That Televises The Little League World Series
It's Aug. 24, the day we were too busy to run for mayor of Wasilla. Click the photo to enlarge. If that doesn't work, click here. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. ...

Ohio Man Rams A Store With A Semi Truck So He Can Steal An $800 Synthetic Vagina (UPDATE)
Ah, Ohio. Home of the drunken werewolf and the teacher who sprayed cops with her breast milk. Now the Smash and Grab Sex Toy Thief of Lorain County joins them....

US Marines Serving In Afghanistan Warned Not To Fart So Audibly
Battle Rattle, a Military Times blog, has an important dispatch from the front lines, which they wanted us to share with you. So often we forget about the sacrifices our troops abroad make to protect this nation's freedom. Sacrifices like sphincter clenching....

Cops, 49ers Will Work To Make Fans Less Drunk After Especially Drunken Raiders-49ers Game
The annual drunk brawl between 49ers and Raiders fans took place this past weekend, and it was, historically speaking, more drunk and brawl-y than usual. In what essentially amounts to a timeout for grown-ups, both teams have requested that the NFL "indefinitely suspend" the annual preseason "Battle...

Farting At Urinals: An Exploration In Etiquette
The Postmortal drops a week from today, and to celebrate the release, next week's edition of the Deadspin Funbag will be a LIVE FUNBAG. We'll throw the post up around noon, then you can send in questions for the next three hours (via email or the comments) and I'll answer them in real time. All you ...

The Newark Bears Will Celebrate Jim Leyritz Night With A $2,000 M.A.D.D. Donation And A Beer Pong Tournament
Even without mixed drinks, it sends mixed signals. A year ago, Leyritz was found innocent of felony manslaughter, but guilty of DUI in a 2007 crash....

You Can't Fight A DMV-Nominated Samurai Champion In Lieu Of A Trial Anymore
A tipster has sent us a story nine years old but timeless. You might not know that in England, drivers must fill out a specific form in order to avoid paying taxes on an unused vehicle. You also might not know that in Medieval England, trials were often settled by the two parties engaging in single ...

George C. Scott Can't Stand Colin Cowherd, Either
It's the combination of the Cowherd and the Arby's that really makes this so unbearable. Doesn't this just feel so familiar?...

Kool Aid Man Really Wanted To Catch That Foul Ball
Your morning roundup for Aug. 23, the day they found a lot of semen in a fancy hotel room. H/T to bigsombrero for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Your Monday Night Football Bears-Giants Open Thread
We are still ready for some football. Bears, Giants, Tirico, Jaws, Gruden, all of that. But no Osi. 8 p.m., ESPN....