ea Page 1911 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Big Alabama Fan Catfish Strother Thinks An Auburn Supporter Might Could've Poisoned His Oak Tree
Your morning roundup for March 10, the day that a big-and-wide guy gets called to task for playing fast-and-loose with his words....

Patriots Safety Brandon Meriweather Accused Of Shooting Two Men During Brawl (MORE UPDATES)
New England Patriots safety Brandon Meriweather allegedly shot two men, one of them in the head, during a fight on Feb. 27 outside a house party in Apopka, Fla., according to John Morgan, attorney for the victims....

NFLPA Boss Says Union Won't Accept An 18-Game Season
NFLPA executive director DeMaurice Smith said last night that his members aren't interested in, and won't negotiate about, expanding the regular NFL season by two games a year. Here's what he told SI.com:...

A Four-Headed Dong Finally Targets Mel Kiper's Dome
Tipster Bjorn C. was kind enough to share this 2011 NFL Mock Draft screengrab which he interpreted as "AHH! Mel Kiper's being attacked by a four-headed homepage dong!" Though, some may interpret it as "Ooh, Mel Kiper's being attacked by a four-headed homepage dong!"...

Todd Bairstow Was Living The Fishing-Trip Dream Until He Got Death Rolled
If your worst nightmare involves a fishing trip in which you lose a finger to a gator that gets you in a death roll after latching onto leg for 40-some minutes, catch up with 28-year-old Australian mine worker Todd Bairstow sometime. He can tell you how it really feels....

This Is The Mug Shot Of A Man Who Interrupted His Haircut To Stab Someone With Scissors
It's not the half-headed man's mugshot, but it's similar. David Davis of New Haven, Conn., was arrested and charged with slashing another man who entered the barbershop while Davis was getting his haircut. The result: the Halfro....

Jim Tressel's Profound Pauses Not As Profound As He Intends Them To Be: A Video Compilation
Jim Tressel, the recently/somewhat disgraced football coach at Ohio State, spoke to the press last night. Mostly, though, instead of saying actual words, he gazed out into the crowd during pregnant pauses in his speech. And Shatner he is not....

Boom Goes The Student Sportscast: America East Report Is Uncomfortable, Hilarious
There is a lot going on in this America East basketball report from the University of Hartford's student-run TV station — so much, even, that tipster Christopher declares it "the next boom goes the dynamite." There's no instant catchphrase in this 30-minute segment (we've cut it down to the real h...

Max Pacioretty Was Seriously Injured In Last Night's Zdeno Chara Hit
Pacioretty suffered a severe concussion and a fractured vertebrae in last night's hard collision with Boston's Zdeno Chara. Montreal's left wing remains in the hospital and is out indefinitely. Chara will not be punished beyond the game misconduct. [ESPN]...

NFL Dream Job: The Miami Dolphins Are Hiring An Experienced Cotton Candy Maker
Last month, the MLB announced it was accepting applications for what was billed as a "dream job," or, watching somewhere in the range of 2,400 baseball games and writing about it. It sounded... fun. But the NFL may trump it with this opening, for an "experienced" cotton candy maker at the Dolphins' ...

Phoenix Coyotes Honor Hero With Outback Steakhouse Gift Certificate
To honor a veteran who served in Afghanistan, the Coyotes gifted him a $25 gift certificate to Outback. That, colonel, is what you've been fighting for....

Stanford Scholar-Athletes A Little Less Scholarly This Morning
Stanford is often lauded for graduating their players, and rightly so. But their record is a little less impressive after today's story in the Stanford Daily, which reveals that a semi-secret list of "easy classes" has been distributed to student-athletes for at least a decade. And there are some go...

Belgian Goalie Forgets How To Throw At The Worst Possible Time, Assists Opponent's Goal
Sammy Bossut, goalkeeper for Zulte-Waregem in the Belgian Pro League, pulled down a corner kick in a match against Lokeren over the weekend and, channeling a certain Giants quarterback, held onto the ball a little too long in his attempt to throw it down-field. Zulte-Waregem lost 2-1....

Fighting Illini Are Everywhere, Even In North Texas's Starting Lineup
None of these gentlemen are actually members of the North Texas Mean Green. They are, from left to right, current and former Illinois players Warren Carter, Jack Ingram, Rich McBride, Demetri McCamey, and Jamar Smith. We'd say it was a glitch or an honest mistake, but those five players have never b...

<em>Still Life Of Basketball Coach And Grizzly Bear</em>
Your morning roundup for March 9, the day a cow fart came in a can....

Harvard And Princeton Will Fight Old-Fashioned Douchebag Standoff In Saturday Playoff
Big news for our high net worth contingent: Princeton defeated Penn in the Ivy League's regular-season finale tonight, meaning—you guessed it—the Tigers will battle Tommy Amaker's Harvard squad for the conference's automatic berth in a playoff at Yale on Saturday....

Max Pacioretty Carted Off Ice On Stretcher After Scary Zdeno Chara Hit
In the second period of tonight's Bruins-Habs game, with Montreal leading 4-0, Boston defenseman Zdeno Chara delivered this blow to Montreal wing Max Pacioretty, riding him headfirst into the stanchion between the benches....

Debate Over: Tigers Beat Lions
It is done. The great mystery is solved. The juggernauts have met on even terms, and only one remains. Only tiger remains. The BBC has the news:...

Here's Video Of Messi's Pretty Goal From Today's Barca-Arsenal Match
FC Barcelona defeated Arsenal 3-1 this evening in Camp Nou. Lionel Messi scored twice — first on this pretty self-assist over the goalkeeper's head just before halftime, and second on a penalty kick in the 71st minute of play. With a 4-3 lead over Arsenal on aggregate, Barcelona will now go on to ...
