ea Page 1917 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Topless Italian Soccer Player Headbutts Fully Dressed British Coach
Tottenham Hotspur traveled to Italy to face AC Milan in the UEFA equivalent of the Sweet Sixteen today. It was a chippy game which Tottenham won after Aaron Lennon broke away and assisted Peter Crouch on the game's lone goal with about 10 minutes left....

O.J. Simpson Didn't Really Get Beaten Silly By A White Supremacist After All
The purported word coming from Nevada's Lovelock Correctional Center today had all the makings of a Rockwellian portrait painted by the would've-been U.S. Rep. Rich Iott of Ohio. Accused murderer and convicted armed-robber Orenthal James Simpson got beaten so badly by a young skinhead in the prison...

Tonight's The Night HBO <em>Real Sports</em> Explores Deadspin's Septic Tank
So the news was broken a couple weeks ago but for those of you interested in what Bryant Gumbel's discerning pencil feels about our shady operation, tune into HBO (home of Treme) tonight at 10 p.m. EST, especially if you always wanted to hear Andrea Kremer say the word "penis" ad nauseum....

We Are All Dave McKenna XII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit disappears. For today's topic, Snyder's "amusing failure at Six Flags," we return to a May 2010 Slate article by Dave McKenna:...

An Inside Look At The White House Pooper!
All my life I've wanted to know the details of where the President of the United States evacuates his bowels, and now an anonymous reader who is ON THE INSIDE has provided the crucial information....

We Have The Awful Pilot For Colin Cowherd's Awful TV Show
A tipster has sent along the script for the first episode of Colin Cowherd's "relationship" sitcom, which is being developed for CBS and which is roughly The Honeymooners meets Frasier meets the really insightful parts of Bedtime for Bonzo. Here are some highlights....

Insurance Company Behaves Like Insurance Company, Voids Incredible Charity Hockey Shot
Richard Marsh was randomly selected from the crowd at an Indiana Ice home game last Saturday. His challenge: to hit a hockey puck, which is about three inches wide, the length of the rink and into a target slightly larger than three inches wide. AllState Insurance, the promotion's sponsors, pledge...

These Men Are Not Laughing With You
Your morning roundup for February 15, the day Bob Cook's family ended his obituary with the words "GO PACK GO."...

We Are All Dave McKenna XI
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets disappeared. Today's topic: a fan's right to a homemade "Dan Snyder is a jackass" poster....

Treat Yourself To The Motherlode Of Historic Shot Videos
Remember Hoopism's on-demand visualization of every slam dunk contest attempt? Well, they've done it again, this time for 65 of the greatest shots in NBA history. More like Hoopgasm, am I right? [Hoopism]...

Big Baby Davis Would Like To Have This Fast Break Back
Your morning roundup for Feb. 14, the day A.J. stole Philadelphia's heart forever....

Gilbert Arenas Talks About His "Bum" Of A Baby Mama And Dead Pet Sharks
In the wake of getting served with child-support papers at halftime of a Magic/Wizards game, Gilbert Arenas is rather perturbed about his baby mama Laura Govan's approach to public shaming. So says a source in the D.C. media, who was kind enough to share straight-from-the-mouth-of-Arenas thoughts o...

Your Heat vs. Celtics Open Thread
Both the Celtics and the Heat have 14 losses on the season. When they get done playing this afternoon, one will be in sole possession of first place in the Eastern Conference and the other will have sole possession of second place....

The NHL Doesn't Seem To Think The Islanders Can Control Their Players
Your morning roundup for Feb. 13, a day in which a Supreme Court justice prepares to celebrate five years of playing mum at work....

This Was The Day Snow Dong Evolved Into Snow Tits
Here's the subject line of an email sent by tipster Kadinsky of Milwaukee: "I see your snow dong..." The point comes into focus after the ellipsis: "and raise you a pair of snow tits. with sculpted bush." That's all you had to say, MF....

Here's A College Basketball Open Thread
Yes, Syracuse/Louisville and Kentucky/Vanderbilt are already underway. Good Top 25 matchups, for sure. But Ohio State/Wisconsin and Pittsburgh/Villianova are coming up (2 p.m. and 9 p.m., respectively), and since they're Top 14 matchups, they get open-thread timing priority....

"I came out and a bear was sitting in my car…. taking a crap and drinking beer"
As if it's not bad enough to come outside and find a bear sitting shotgun in your Volkswagen, to then find out the bear defecated in it and drank your beer really is the icing on the crap-cake. [Jalopnk]...

The Cleveland Cavaliers Are On A One-Game Winning Streak
Your morning roundup for Feb. 12, the day Mars-commute impregnating became a non-starter in the name of continuing the colony....

Chris Paul Verbally Abused A Ref For Not Taking This Flop Seriously Enough
At the end of a close game against the Nets on Wednesday night, noted flopper Chris Paul turned the ball over with 19 seconds to go and the Hornets down by two. In overtime, he missed the potential game-winner and added a spectacular flop for good measure. Finally, he "verbally abused" an official...

The Lawyer Suing The NFL Over Super Bowl Seats Thinks $5 Million Probably Isn't Enough
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: people don't want another Super Bowl trip. They want cash money....