ea Page 1947 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Nerdiest Thing You'll Ever See
This is...this is just excellent. And keep in mind, Deadspin commentariat: this is how the rest of the world sees you....

Last Night's Winner: Paper Champions, Written In Pencil
Yes, that's Justin Bieber wearing Phil Jackson's NBA Championship ring. That's one more ring than LeBron James or Chris Bosh have had on their fingers, despite preseason plaudits all-but-guaranteeing them a 70-win season. Just 70 more to go....

The Result Of A Skate To The Neck Is Quite Frankensteiny
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your "Ah, Hell, Let's Just Root For The Comet" NBA Heat-Celtics Open Thread
The NBA season kicks off tonight. It was quite an offseason, but Juwan Howard's title quest begins in earnest tonight. Comment along as you watch and talk about the other games, too....

How Much Would It Take For You To Be A Cannibal?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Find more of Drew's stuff at KSK or on Twitter. Today, we're covering hotel dining cart theft, train tracks, squirrel fighting, and more....

Elaborate Goal Celebration Sees Your Sharpie And Raises You A Compact Car
Antoine Griezmann of Real Sociedad may be an up-and-coming French soccer star, but that doesn't excuse this ridiculous celebration after his header put the White and Blue up two-nil on Deportivo. Act like you've been there before, young man. [Hot Clicks]...

Jon Gruden Once Again Drawing Abstract Penises On Nation's Television Screens
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Here's Your Monday Night Inspiration For Going To The Gym This Week
The 33 Chilean miners who just emerged after two months trapped underground played in a friendly match against their rescuers today and lost 3-2. "[They're] great players," joked Chilean President Sebastián Piñera, "but they're a bit out of shape."...

Philadelphia Inquirer Writer Compares Phillies Loss To 1906 San Francisco Earthquake
"When it was over, the town was a charred, smoldering mess—a blackened patch of scorched earth that left the survivors shocked and shattered as they tried to figure out what happened and how to move forward."...

Cloying, Thy Name Is LeBron James
Nike's LeBron James has appeared in a new commercial for LeBron James and Nike. It's as transparent as you would suspect, and somehow, it's even worse than the Zombie Earl Woods commercial....

Anyone In LA Want To See Stephen A. Smith's New Show?
Stephen A. is taping a new show on Wednesday, Angelenos, so if you're free, print out your free tickets from this link and report back to us with your findings. Press release and more details after the jump....

Sign Up For The Deadspin Newsletter, Win An iPad
We're giving away a 16GB Wi-Fi iPad to one lucky newsletter subscriber! Don't subscribe? Enter your email address below to get one great story a day in your inbox. Don't worry, we hate spam as much as you do....

Here's Audio Of That ESPN U Reporter Getting Pranked And Wrecking Her Hotel Room (NSFW)
Last week, Elizabeth Moreau was the victim of a prank in which she was prevailed upon to break a window in her hotel room, among other things. Here's a snippet. Head over to The Smoking Gun to listen to the whole thing....

Play <em>Madden 11</em> In 3D, With Only A Pair Of Those Stupid Glasses And A Bag Of Chips
Getting beaten by an 11-year-old while he flings racial and homophobic taunts is annoying enough. Now there's a faster way to get a headache from playing Madden 11: 3D!...

Soccer Player Has Heart Attack During Match
Miguel Garcia, a midfielder for Segunda Divsion side Salamanca, is recovering in hospital today after suffering a suspected heart attack during a match against Real Betis on Sunday....

Hakeem Olajuwon And Ramadan: A Statistical Analysis
FreeDarko's Dream Week comes to an end today—buy the book tomorrow—with a statistical analysis of Olajuwon's play during Ramadan that shows just how good he was. [Free Darko; photo via]...

The Brian-Wilson-o'-Lantern Never Caught On, As It Invariably Made Kids Wet Themselves
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Dong Meteorologist Would Prefer You Not Post Dong Pics/Links On His Facebook Page
To Nick Kraynok, these things are good: golf, jet skiing, playing the guitar, rooting for Pittsburgh professional teams and telling the people of San Angelo, Texas the weather....

Wikipedia's World Series Schedule Turned Into A Homo And/Or Facial-Hair Joke
Looks like it'll be Lincecum vs. Lee in Game One when the Rangers face off against the Beards. Get it? (H/T Jason F.) ...

Your NFL Late Games Open Thread
Arizona at Seattle. New England at San Diego. Oakland and Denver. Minnesota at Green Bay. There's your lineup. Now, onto the real game: What insanely competitive former NFL player apparently copped to using anabolic steroids over at Reddit?...