ea Page 1974 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Javier Hernandez’s Face Scores Important Goal Against Chelsea
On your first day at work, it's all about keeping your head down, not attracting too much attention to yourself, and definitely not doing anything clumsy/humiliating....

A Musical Tribute To Brandon Morrow's Almost No-Hitter
Brandon Morrow became the pitcher he never was for the Mariners yesterday, bedeviling the Tampa Bay Rays and striking out 17 in maybe the most dominant pitching performance of the year. Music via Annie....

To Dan Marino, Jerry Rice Gives A Double F-U
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

A-Centaur Suffers A-Boo-Boo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bowlegged Floyd Little Gets to Canton
Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith (and others) get their yellow jackets tonight. Travesty. What'd either of them ever accomplish?...

If Tebow's Tithing, the Lord Made <em>Bank</em> Off Nike Yesterday
I don't know what's more frightening: That someone wrote 314 words about an epic yet unfulfilling Hajj to get his hands on the new Tim Tebow kicks or that I read all 314 words....

No-Name Hoopster Mocks LeBron, Makes Name Briefly Known
I don't know who this Anthony Tolliver cat thinks he is. I like his style, punctuation and use of wolf-call special effects, though....

Ref: The Steelers Probably Wouldn't Have Won Super Bowl XL Without Me
Remember when the Seattle Seahawks totally got jobbed out of a Super Bowl trophy? Referee Bill Leavy does. Here's what he said during a lil chat with the Seattle media yesterday:...

Haynesworth Passes Fitness Test! Haynesworth Passes Fitness Test!
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Watch Tyson Gay Become The Fastest Person In The World
Tyson Gay beat Usain Bolt today in the 100m at the IAAF Track and Field Diamond League in Stockholm. It was Bolt's first loss in two years. I'm sure the headlines for this will be extremely tasteful....

Jeremy Shockey, Multitasking In A Port-A-Potty
Portable toilet passing drills seem to be all the rage, with the Chiefs and Saints both taking advantage of, um, doors that close, to cut down on reaction time. Things went horribly wrong when linemen simultaneously used the johns as tackling dummies. [via RandBall]...

Keyboard-Throwing Contest Goes About As Well As Expected
Like all fledgling non-Olympic sports, Keyboard Toss still has to work out a lot of kinks. Regulation equipment and throwing motions are good starts but they should probably focus on how not to hit the cameramen....

Breaking News: Shaq Is Old, You Are Too
Mitchell & Ness, purveyors of vintage jerseys, are now selling the O'Neal 94-95 jersey as part of their Hardwood Classics series....

Cockblocked by Cassiopeia! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

Let's Laugh At Russell Okung's Useless Holdout
Okung wanted fewer years, and more guaranteed money than Eric Berry. He got neither....

Lady Footballer In Humiliating Handball Mix Up!
As embarrassing mistakes go, this one is up there with accidentally calling your teacher "Mummy", or unknowingly leaving your flies open during a bumpy bus journey....

Porno For Pyros In The Minors
Come out to the Savannah Sand Gnats game next Saturday. There'll be food giveaways, and live music, and, oh yeah, one lucky fan gets to light a man on fire....

Female Driver Plows Into Reader's Dunkin' Donuts This Morning: His Report
Reader Eddie B. was enjoying a French cruller this morning at a Westchester Dunkin' Donuts when this lady, in an apparent rush, drove through the store. He writes in:...

FSU Cowgirl Friend Of Jenn Sterger's Corroborates Favre Voicemail, Cock Photo
No, it's not 60 Minutes, but Playboy radio interviewed former FSU Girl and "friend" of Jenn Sterger, Allison Torres, who is surprised The Favre Dong story has surfaced now. Jenn showed her the photo of it two years ago, she said....

Yankees Little League Coach Was Chock Full Of Steroids For Brawl
Do you remember Jason Chighizola, who sucker punched the coach of his little league rival Red Sox? Turns out he had nearly 15 times the amount of testosterone necessary to be considered legally doping....