ea Page 1988 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Culturally Insensitive Weekend World Cup Goal Roundup, June 19-20
What a weekend: New Zealand played Italy to a draw; Luis Fabiano got away with two handballs; and Denmark scored a pair of beauties. But how would these moments look when scored to music betraying a distinct lack of cultural sensitivity?...

Crucial Relationship Advice Spoken Drunkenly To Teenagers: Cheat On All Your Girlfriends
I went to a bachelor party this weekend in a seaside town. There was eating, and drinking, and a failed attempt to get two Polish Food Lion clerkettes to come over and massage the groom....

Golf Is Now A Contact Sport
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in this morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

World Cup Open Thread: Portugal-North Korea
Apologies for the delay this morning. Portugal's up 1-0 in the muck at halftime at Green Point Stadium. Discuss below. UPDATE: North Korea heroically holds the Portuguese to fewer than eight goals, according to a Pyongyang news agency....

Lady Gaga Banned From Yankee Stadium Clubhouse For Being Lady Gaga
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in this morning retardedly hot afternoon. Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day...

World Cup Open Thread: Italy-New Zealand (UPDATE: Vaffanculo!)
Can New Zealand shock the reigning champs? Or will the Azzurri grind the plucky All Whites into the ground with their jackboots? Watch the match and comment below. FINAL: New Zealand 1, Italy 1. Wow....

Deadspin Classic: Manute Bol, Always And Forever, Larger Than Life
Manute Bol died today at 47. In 2006, Rick Chandler caught up with him as he worked to bring relief to his native Sudan. "How can I stay in America and live a good life," Bol asked, "when my people are suffering?"...

Tiny Motors Are The New Growth Hormones
Tour De France officials will be inspecting all riders' frames for concealed motors this year, thanks to this Swiss Saxo Bank rider. (Thought about adding something like, "leave it to a Swiss bank employee" but Saxo Bank is technically Danish.)...

What Is North Korean Striker Jong Tae Sae Actually Crying About?
(Aside from Manute Bol.) Anyway, a headscratcher I've been puzzling over for a few days now: what's with sobbing guy on the North Korean national team? Guy has never even had to live in North Korea!...

Manute Bol Is Dead
From complications of a skin disease he contracted in Sudan. Don't let me ruin your LeBron James Appreciation Day, but for a good cry read this....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 18
Yesterday was a fantastic day. The U.S. played in the most exciting — and controversial — game of the tournament, perhaps creating some new soccer junkies in the process....

Chaos Shall Reign Again: Deadspin Anarchy Editing Duo In Full Effect
Greetings, you tawdry bastards. Tomorrow this site will be overtaken by everyone's favorite sentence assassin, The Great Moe Tkacik with special assistance from the artist formerly known as The Baghdad Diarist, Scott Thomas Beauchamp. Engage....

Annoying Use Of The Vuvuzela Throughout History: The Sequel
Last week, we compiled several great moments in history, film, and the internet and set them to the now-iconic buzzing of the vuvuzela. Here's a sequel. Please add your suggestions in the comments below. We'll do another of these soon....

World Cup Open Thread: England-Algeria
Tea and crumpets! Sand! It's England and Algeria. Bond over your shared hatred of the French in the comments....

Cockblocked By The Bassist’s Poop! GREAT MOMENTS IN DRUNKEN HOOKUP FAILURE
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....

World Cup Open Thread: Germany-Serbia
No team looked better in its first game than Germany. The Serbians, on the other hand, did not impress and will be all but eliminated if they lose today. Comment and make World War I jokes below....

Los Angelenos Search For Championship Trophy Under Burning Cars
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Your Culturally Insensitive World Cup Goal Roundup For June 17
Today offered a smorgasbord of goals. A hat trick by Gonzolo Higuain was the day's highlight, and the streets of France will be littered with the burned effigies of referees after a non-offside call led to Javier Hernandez's score....

North Korean News Agency Reports Brazil Match, Fails To Report Final Score
Unless you read it closely, the Korean News Service makes it appear that the DPRK won. And if you watched the official state television edited version, they probably did. [KNS]...

Utah Joins Pac-10; Spacetime Folds In On Itself
TERROR! SCHOOL IN AMERICAN SOUTHWEST THAT USED TO PLAY SPORTS AGAINST SMALL SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES WILL NOW PLAY SPORTS AGAINST LARGE SCHOOLS IN WESTERN STATES! [Salt Lake Tribune]...