ea Page 2011 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Tap A Fucking Keg
We asked Awl contributor Abe Sauer to write a profanity-filled, Spring Break-themed servicey piece, one that could be useful for both dopey sun-poisoned college kids and backyard BBQ enthusiasts. The Awl agreed to let us borrow its occasional series. Enjoy....
"It Wasn't Death. It Was The Ghost Of Dale Earnhardt, And He Was Smoking A Marlboro Red."
SBNation's Spencer Hall, America's Tackling Dummy, raced six terrifying laps at Talladega and realized the competitors who do this for a living are "Completely. Barking. Mad." Carve out some time to read it all. You won't be disappointed. [SBNation]...
So The Fingers Don't Mean 'We're #1?'
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Milton Bradley, Nothing If Not Consistent
The newest Mariner is very sorry for his two consecutive Spring Training ejections. Just kidding! He says he'll never change, and that the umpires are out to get him. [Seattle Times]...
Pat Jordan Submits His Spring Break Essays To Us Via Fax
...And the first installment will run tomorrow Wednesday. Mr. Jordan cargo van-slummed it in Daytona Beach for us last week to complete this assignment, so pass it along to friends and colleagues because he'll never do this for us again....
Carl Lewis In Spandex, And Other Hilarious Athlete Forays Into Music Careers
Fresh off the startling news that Manny Pacquiao canceled his Hawaii concert, it's high time to examine the other aural atrocities committed by top athletes. [The Top 13]...
Four Important Things To Know So Your Spring Break Won't Suck
A few weeks ago, I asked you for your very worst Spring Break horror stories. Here is mine....
Today In Sports Endurance Achievements: Three-Minute Hockey Fight
Saturday, St. Louis Blues bruiser Cam Janssen and New Jersey Devil's welterweight Pierre-Luc "I Wasn't In Duran Duran" Letourneau-Leblond lethrew down during the first period. Three minutes later, they had become Übermensch. [Fan House; tunes by TV on the Radio]...
Soak Yourself In Deadspin's Spring Break Week (NSFW)
All week long Deadspin will be celebrating the phenomenon of American Spring Break. There's much to come, but for now, please watch this educational video put together by hairypalmed intern David Matthews, documenting the effects of water on cotton apparel....
Onions Win The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like players who had the courage to take the big shot—no matter how ill-advised—and became heroes to small children everywhere. Don't you hate guys like that?...
Subliminal Telestrator Messages Get A Lot Less Subliminal
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Big 12, Big East, A-10 Vie For Most Disappointing Tourney Conference: Your 5:00ish Games Open Thread
Xavier-Pitt, Texas A&M-Purdue, and Cal-Duke close out the weekend. By the end of the late afternoon slate, our Sweet 16 will be set. Well, not "ours." Mine included Kansas and 'Nova. Keep up in the comments....
Badger Badger Badger: Your 2:30ish Games Open Thread (VIDEO UPDATE)
GaTech-OSU, MSU-Maryland, Mizzou-West Virginia, and Cornell-Wisconsin tangle in the early afternoon slate. On pep rally photos alone, the smart money is with Wisconsin. (H/T to BoRyansBaldSpot for the photo)...
Canine Vs. Citrus: Your Gonzaga-Syracuse Open Thread
A sole early game again, as 'Cuse tries to avoid getting Jayhawked, and Gonzaga tests our patience with its "Cinderella" label for the 20th consecutive year. Follow along in the comments, won't you?...
Yes, Kansas, Let Us Taste The Tears Of Unfathomable Sadness
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Stories That Don't Suck: Self Esteem, Ballad Of Big Star, Fantasy Baseball, Michael Lewis's First First Thing
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....
New Orleans Rebuilding Effort Costs 1,200 Saints Fans Their Season Tickets
The Saints are tearing out three sections of Superdome seats—displacing many season ticket holders—so they can turn their old press box into luxury suites. You're welcome, New Orleans. [WWLTV/PFT]...
Last Night's Winner: Pedants
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like sticklers for the rules who believe that a lane violation is still a lane violation even in the final minute. In other words, me....
Courtney Coxian Women Confront Snapping-Turtle Problem: Houston-Maryland Open Thread
Before Greivis Vasquez can take his "poor man's Manu Ginobili" routine to the next round, he'll have to lance the proverbial boil that is Aubrey Coleman and the Houston Cougars. Make a sweat pun whenever Gary Williams is on screen....
Pitino-Backed Red Birds Attempt To Screw Bears On Restaurant Table, So To Speak: Lousiville-Cal Open Thread
You were expecting a different picture, weren't you? Louisville had an off-year, and so did the Pac-10; there might as well be two pictures to keep you engaged. Say "Samardo Samuels" thrice into a mirror and comment the results....