ea Page 2160 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

South Park, Cheating, And You
“In America, it’s OK to cheat as long as you cheat your way to the top.” What does Stand and Deliver have in common with Bill Belichick? South Park explains....

Lance Allred Is Not The Smiling Face Of Polygamy
Cleveland Cavaliers bench player Lance Allred was raised on a polygamist compound until the age of 13, and since, you know, that’s been in the news lately, CBS “The Early Show” interviewed him about it this morning. We wouldn’t say it went well....

Observations From Opening Night At Shea
We attended our first baseball game of the season last night, a sloppy, ugly, slightly comical 8-2 Mets win over the Phillies. We tried to attribute it to a cold April night, but seriously, we're not sure the Phillies were actually wearing gloves....

Steely McDrunky
In even more startling DUI news, Pittsburgh police have arrested one of the men who played Pittsburgh Steelers horrifying mascot, Steely McBeam....

The First Video Game To Come With An EKG
We don't have a Wii, but we almost want to buy one just for this game. (Our love for competitive eating is well documented.) Rare is the game that allows you to ZOOK! all over the table....

The Ones Meet The Eights
NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski previews the 2008 Stanley Cup Finals right up until they drop what is commonly referred to as "the puck."...

Storming The Floor's San Antonio Road Trip
Storming The Floor was in San Antonio for the NCAA Title Game last night. Check out their full report....

For You Few Humans Still Paying Attention To Your NCAA Bracket
With the end of the NCAA Tournament tonight, that means not only that One Shining moment is upon us, but also that: Hey! Time to wrap up your tournament pools....

Milwaukee's Tailgaters Highly Evolved In All Things Toilet-Related
Where have you publicly evacuated when confronted with an overactive beer-filled bladder and nary a port-o-potty in site to relieve yourself during tailgating? Some duck behind cars and unleash right on the asphalt; others use their empty beer bottles as rudimentary urine containers....

That Buzzing In Your Heart? It's A Hornets Nest. Trust Me.
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who can't believe it's only two weeks until the NBA playoffs. When he's requesting a two-month leave of absence from work so he can watch every playoff game, you can find him building a lint ball at Basketbawful. Enjoy! Out. Of. Gas. Memo to Don Nelson: Thi...

Jake Peavy Doesn't Have Hand
Before we get to Sunday's action, here's what they're saying about the Jake Peavy spitball controversy from over the weekend ......

When Internet Browsers Devour Amazing Prose About Rick Reilly
Oh my sweet God. I had a really, really poignant article about Rick Reilly, the movie Leatherheads, and more thoughts on his comments about bloggers. Then of course, Firefox just had to crash at that very moment in history....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while exercising ... • 7 p.m. — Womens Final Four: Connecticut vs. Stanford; LSU vs. Tennessee. It's going to be UConn-Tennessee again, so why bother? [ESPN] • 8 p.m. — MLB: Chicago White Sox at Detroit Tigers. Save some run support for the rest of the team, Brandon Inge. You wouldn't ...

Blogs are a digital sweatshop. It says so right in the lede. Plus, three bloggers have died in the last few months of heart-related conditions, which only supports the claim because it's not like heart disease is the leading cause of death in America or anything. No, it's actually rickets. And blogg...

Jake Peavy Packed Kenny Rogers' Hand Cream By Mistake
Earlier we told you of Jake Peavy's masterful one-run complete game win over the Los Angeles Dodgers. A reader sent in these "shots of the screen" indicting a smudginess of the index and middle fingers, and possibly the thumb....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while wondering why (a) they didn't go with "always be condoming," and (b) the one taped there was for sale, because, well... • NCAA basketball: Final Four sloughs off coastal teams, history, tradition, aura, grit, and potential ratings, leaving Memphis and Kansas to play for the tit...

About Last Night ...
What you missed, other than the diapered monkey in traffic ... • NBA: Nets playoff chances, fade to black. Detroit's bench handles New Jersey, 106-87. • MLB: Marcum zero, Smokey. Shaun Marcum retires 11 Sox in a row in Toronto's win over Boston. • Tennis: Andy Roddick loses to Nikolay Davydenko in s...

Matt Leinart Suddenly Dirty
• Opening Day! • President Bush would have been a better commissioner. • Look: Daulerio works here now. • Matt Leinart once, and Matt Leinart twice. • Andy Roddick, doing OK for himself. • We miss Davidson already. • Stuart Scott on the microphone. • Joel Zumaya, bringing rock. • Larry King really, ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after discovering a new definition of nightmare fuel ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Jason (Hunchback) Estrada vs. Lance (The Boston Bleeder) Whitaker, in Lincoln, R.I. (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2] • NBA: San Antonio Spurs vs. Utah Jazz (8 p.m., ET), Dallas Mavericks vs. Los Angeles Lakers (10:30 ...

The Best $187 Million Ever Spent
As Isiah Thomas and the Knicks attempt to finish up their disastrous season and wait to find out what new GM Donnie Walsh will do to rejuvenate the team, it'd probably be a good idea to make sure he doesn't read this Portfolio.com article on how much Isiah has cost the Knicks. The magazine estimates...