ea Page 759 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Netherlands Huffed And Puffed Until They Blew Italy’s Defense Down
Just because the Netherlands narrowly survived their round of 16 match against Japan thanks to a late penalty didn’t mean that they were out of the woods yet with the tough obstacles ahead of them in the knockout stage of the Women’s World Cup. In fact, on paper their Saturday match up with Italy se...
Serial Sexual Harasser Amr Warda Allowed To Rejoin Egypt National Team
On Wednesday, it appeared that the Egypt national soccer team had taken a commendable stand against sexual harassment when it kicked Amr Warda off the team after stories of Warda being a pestering creeper to several women flooded social media. Today, the team clarified that it does not actually take...
Dead Letters: "Earth Isn’t A Rotating Sphere, Get Used To It"
Subject: NZ Womens Soccer...
The Rangers Are Apparently Keen To Sign Artemi Panarin's Twin Brother, "Lefty" Panarin
Artemi Panarin is the hottest forward on the free agent market. The 27-year-old is such a vibrant scorer that the Blue Jackets forewent the sizable trade bounty he would have pulled in at the deadline, even knowing he was on his way out this summer, because he was so key to their playoff hopes. Mult...
Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Game Postponed, Which Means The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs Will Play A Double-Header Today
The Grand Junction Humpback Chubs, a minor-league baseball team associated with the Colorado Rockies, had their game against the Ogden Raptors canceled last night due to an “outfield surface issue.” This was bad news for local Chubs fans who had purchased tickets to the game. Not only were they deni...
Megan Rapinoe Cannot Make This Any Clearer
Megan Rapinoe does not want to go to the White House. Megan Rapinoe does not want to go to the White House if the U.S. Women’s National Team wins the World Cup, because Donald Trump is the president. She does not want to visit Donald Trump because of his record and statements on racial issues, gende...
The Lakers Are Really Going For it
The Lakers have cleared the decks. They’ve stripped away every player from the roster who they do not view as central to their next championship push. It turns out the list of remaining players is hilariously small and remarkably expensive, and before filling out the margins the Lakers very much ho...
Lucy Bronze's Stunning Goal Completes England's Demolition Of Norway
England had themselves a chill afternoon in the quarterfinals against Norway, scoring twice in the first half and once a little later on to beat the Norwegians 3-0 and advance to the semifinals, where they’ll face the winners of Friday’s game between the USWNT and France. But before they worry about...
An Interview With The Man Who Enraged A Minor League Baseball Team By Suggesting They Call Themselves The Humpback Chubs
Today, for reasons that were at first very hard to parse, the Grand Junction Rockies, a minor-league team affiliated with the Colorado Rockies, sent out the following aggressive, since-deleted tweets:...
Ancient War Goblin Henry Kissinger Defends Olympics In <i>Los Angeles Times</i>
Every global-scale sporting event exists in a strange standoff with itself. On one side is the inevitable bloat and graft and soul-deep cynicism that animates every such event—the neighborhoods flattened or surveilled or otherwise punished for sitting where a stadium is supposed to be, the bribery a...
What A Foul Ball Can Do
Laura Cusick and her husband Richard loved baseball. They loved it so much for so long that it became a part of their marriage. When they had kids, they taught them to love the game, too: to root for the home team (the Braves), and learn the players names, and to stretch in the seventh inning. They ...
The Madman Theory Of The Montreal/Tampa Bay Rays
Any self-respecting student of insane Machiavellian gambits should be familiar with the Madman Theory, Richard Nixon’s self-invented strategy for winning the war in Vietnam. The theory, as recounted by Nixon chief of staff H.R. Haldeman after he got out of jail for his role in Watergate, went like t...
Moron President Gives Defense Department Four Months To Craft Service Academy Athletics Policy He Himself Axed
Having previously bragged about his intention to look into such a thing, our sleazy doofus of a president has taken the first formal step toward instituting a policy that would allow service academy athletes to defer their military service obligations in order to pursue careers in professional spor...
Barstool Sports' Dave Portnoy Actually Trembles While Being Asked About Harassing Women
Nothing was done to that GIF above. Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel, the HBO show covering all things sports and/or Bryant Gumbel, had a segment on Barstool Sports in last night’s episode, and there’s site founder Dave Portnoy quivering as he’s interviewed by Soledad O’Brien. He’s one followup questi...
Egyptian Soccer Player Kicked Off National Team After Getting Exposed As A Sex Pest On Social Media
The Egyptian national soccer team, currently competing in the African Cup of Nations, announced today that they have booted midfielder Amr Warda out of their AFCON squad after several women revealed evidence of Warda being a DM-sliding, unsolicited dick pic-sending creep....
Argentine Soccer Team Orchestrates On-Field Sit-In To Protest Red Cards
In the second leg of their promotion playoff final against Alvarado, players from third-tier Argentine soccer club San Jorge de Tucumán decided to protest what they considered two unfair first-half red cards by sitting down in the middle of the field and refusing to move or play. This lasted about t...
Enes Kanter Calls Zion Williamson "Overhyped," "Julius Randle With Hops"
Apologies in advance for presenting the unsuspecting reader with any portion of any conversation between Colin Cowherd and Enes Kanter, as nobody’s day necessarily needed that. But here is their exchange today on the subject of Zion Williamson:...
Commissioner For A Day: Let's Institute Geographic Relegation
This is a scintillating idea that I have previously put forward, with much more clarity and much less stammering, in blog form. ...
The USWNT-France Clash Is The Real World Cup Final
Months of pre-tournament preparation, weeks of controversy and VAR and stress, days of hand-wringing—they’ve all led us here. Since the Women’s World Cup draw back in December, the United States and France, the two best teams in the world, have been on a collision course that unfortunately all but g...