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The Regions Of The United States
Here are the regions of the United States....

Which Ear Is Your Phone Ear?
I recently became deaf in my right ear thanks to a sudden brain hemorrhage, which is a freakish life-threatening injury that I highly recommend avoiding. The good news out of this, apart from me not being dead, is that it turns out my surviving left ear is my phone ear. I didn’t even realize it was ...

The Eagles Have Everything Set Up
The Eagles showed they were committed to Carson Wentz in February, when they let Nick Foles take his dick somewhere else. And by signing Wentz to a four-year extension two years before they had to, as the Eagles did Thursday night, they showed too that they’re all-in on him....

Dickhead Fans Send Death Threats To Minor Leaguer Over No-Hitter-Ending Bunt
The Trenton Thunder outfielder who busted up a combined no-hitter on Tuesday night with a slick push bunt up the first baseline triggered a benches-clearing fracas as a result. It turns out he’s also triggered a bunch of weird assholes, as he has gone on to receive death threats from dickhead fans, ...

Hey, Look At That, Dallas Keuchel Has Landed With The Braves
Former Astros ace Dallas Keuchel was the last man standing from the grueling free agency winter of hell that followed the 2018 season. Craig Kimbrel, the other glaringly overqualified but evidently unemployable pitcher, landed with the Cubs Wednesday night; Thursday night, at last, Keuchel scored a ...

Report: Coaches Wasted 25 Minutes Before Calling Paramedics In Heat Stroke Death Of Junior College Football Player
Football coaches at Garden City Community College, a prominent junior college program in Kansas that has played in two of the last three NJCAA championship games, reportedly delayed for 25 minutes before contacting paramedics after finding 19-year-old Braeden Bradforth collapsed outside his dorm las...

Welcome To The Last Ride Of Marta's Brazil
The sun is about to set on Brazil this summer. The land of joga bonito has fielded one of, if not the, best generations of women’s soccer players over the last two decades, but age and an inability to adapt to the rapidly evolving game could see the Seleção’s campaign in France end in yet another di...

And Now, An Unsolicited Poem From A Yankees Fan
In a blog earlier this morning, I made the brave and extremely correct observation that the New York Yankees are a wicked, awful baseball team that deserves to play its home games on fields of fire and brimstone in the very pit of Hell itself....

It's Been A Long, Tough Journey For Jamaica, And Just Making It To The World Cup Is Enough
Thanks in large part to the support of Bob Marley’s daughter, Cedella Marley, Jamaica’s Reggae Girlz are about to compete at the World Cup for the first time ever. While it’d be far too optimistic to expect them to pull off any kind of shocker in Group C, if you consider Jamaica’s status (or lack th...

Australia Are Pure, Thrilling, Perilous Anarchy
Australia are front-runners for the title of most entertaining team at the Women’s World Cup. The chaotically good Matildas head to France this summer with the stated goal of winning the trophy but the more important (at least for non-Aussies) unstated goal of becoming everyone’s second favorite tea...
![Was Kyrie Irving At The Club With Nets Reserve Alan Williams? [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/lr35fyclek6smukdms0v.jpg)
Was Kyrie Irving At The Club With Nets Reserve Alan Williams? [Update]
Soon-to-be free agent Kyrie Irving was on Manhattan’s Upper East Side yesterday, if you accept the word (and image) of a local real estate developer....

Free From Their Sexist, Tyrannical Former Manager, Spain Can Finally Just Play Soccer
They say that when God closes a door, he opens a window, and that wisdom is knowing to stop worrying about the closed door and start taking advantage of the open window. The metaphor applies to the Spain women’s soccer team’s experience at their first World Cup four years ago. The closed door was th...

South Africa's World Cup Debutantes Are Already Legends
No matter what happens in France this summer, the players that make up the South Africa women’s national team are already legends....

Craig Kimbrel Finally Lands A Job, Joins Cubs
It took all the way until June 5, but finally, finally, one of the handful of best closers in baseball has landed a job. Per Ken Rosenthal of The Athletic, Craig Kimbrel has reached an agreement to join the NL Central-leading Chicago Cubs on a multiyear deal:...

KBO Fielder Gets Bonked On The Head, Bailed Out By Teammate
Lotte Giants shortshop Shin Bon-ki got Jose Canseco-ed during a KBO game this morning against the Hanwha Eagles. But unlike the dinger that spawned when a baseball smacked the Bash Brother in the melon, Hanwha’s batter got no satisfaction from striking Shin’s crown. The doinked fielder got saved fro...

Deadspin Up All Night: Hold The Line
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Onward....

Who The Hell Wants To Run The Wizards?
The Washington Wizards dismissed longtime personnel chief Ernie Grunfeld (his title was “president of basketball operations” but it was a role broadly analogous to “general manager”) back at the beginning of April. More than two months have passed. The draft is a little over two weeks away. Free age...

China Have One Star Attacker And A Whole Lot Of Question Marks
When you think of the most famous image in Women’s World Cup history, you don’t often remember the opponent. Brandi Chastain’s celebration after slotting home the winning penalty in the 1999 tournament has inspired the spillage of plenty of digital ink, but maybe the least remembered aspect of that ...
