ea Page 978 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The NFL Machine Has Finally Beaten Colin Kaepernick<em></em>
This week, the Seahawks signed Austin Davis to back up Russell Wilson. I don’t need to tell you that Austin Davis is a shitty quarterback. He didn’t play a single snap in 2016, and in 2015 he started two games for Cleveland and promptly committed five turnovers. In terms of statistics, physical attr...

Cal Is Fucked Because Of Its Stupid Stadium Deal
The University of California-Berkeley first built Memorial Stadium atop their campus in 1923 as a tribute to those who died fighting World War I. It’s one of the most beautiful college football stadiums in the country, a gem perched in the Berkeley Hills that overlooks the East Bay, San Francisco, a...

Neighbors Are Hell
When I was a young kid we knew all the names of pretty much everybody in our whole little neighborhood. The kids were a pack; in the summer, when your parents kicked you out of the house after breakfast—everybody did this—you just found the other kids and skulked around until somebody came up with ...

Spanish Forward Wants Out Of England, Says His Daughter "Looks Like She's Been Living In A Cave"
Out of favor Manchester City forward Nolito, who started only nine matches last season, wants to leave the club due to his lack of playing time, the difficulty of learning English, and because he doesn’t want his daughter turning into a sallow-faced, English-looking person....

An Injured NFL Player Led To A Timeless TV Blooper
On Sept. 9, 2007, Buffalo Bills tight end Kevin Everett put his head down as he tackled Denver Broncos returner Domenik Hixon. Everett suffered severe injuries to his neck and spine and was paralyzed; doctors weren’t sure the then-25-year-old would walk again. Eventually, the NFL player recovered an...

Lack Of Testosterone Limits Leads To Debate Over Transgender High School Athlete
Fifteen-year-old Cromwell High School freshman Andraya Yearwood won the girls’ 100-meter and 200-meter races at the Connecticut Class M track meet. In middle school, Yearwood competed as a boy. The transgender athlete intends to pursue hormonal treatment and sex reassignment surgery, but was able to...

"Fuck You, I'm Millwall!" Londoner Says He Took On Bridge Attackers After A Few Pints
A soccer fan from London said he tried to stop the attackers on London Bridge on Saturday after drinking, he said, “four or five pints, nothing major.” According to the Guardian, the Millwall fan, Roy Larner, was stabbed in the attack and was taken to the hospital with serious injuries, but is now o...

Deadspin Up All Night: You Thought I Was A Cowboy
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Get outside....

Please Enjoy This Extremely English Politician's Awkward Campaign Ad<em></em>
I’m not quite sure what to say about this campaign ad recently released by Greg Knight, a Tory MP representing East Yorkshire. Consider that Knight told the press “I never aspired to be an Alan Partridge” after it went viral; consider that he did so because, to a first approximation, every single ou...

Cam Johnson Commits To UNC, Calls Out Pittsburgh For Blocking His Transfer
Shooting guard Cam Johnson, a summa cum laude graduate of Pittsburgh, announced on Tuesday that he will be taking his talents to Chapel Hill to play for the Tar Heels during his final two years of eligibility; the question now—the question that’s been unanswered for months—is whether the Panthers wi...

Arda Turan Quits Turkish National Team After Allegedly Choking Journalist
Barcelona midfielder Arda Turan has played for Turkey 97 times, making him the fourth most capped player in national team history. He is only 30 years old, so he was probably headed for the all-time record, but Turan announced yesterday his immediate plans to quit the national team for good after he...

The Nine Scariest-Ass Things About Owning A House<em></em>
I own a house and the thing about home ownership is that it is a lifetime project. At any given moment, there is something about the house that needs addressing. There is always a PROJECT, and some homeowners like having such projects. They like to constantly spruce things up and tend to the landsca...

Two Dipshits Tried To Crash Real Madrid's Champions League Title Celebration
This video is in Spanish, but you don’t need much familiarity with the language to 1) cringe in vicarious embarrassment over the shamelessness of these two apparently random “fans” who snuck onto the pitch following Real Madrid’s Champions League final victory this weekend, and 2) appreciate the goo...
![Minor League Team Wants You To Come Ogle Some Ladies At "Hourglass Appreciation Night" [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/jksoquoxnovhvjl8ibl2.jpg)
Minor League Team Wants You To Come Ogle Some Ladies At "Hourglass Appreciation Night" [UPDATE]
Minor league baseball is a land of bizarre promotions; from speed dating night to toilet seat night, farm clubs will always go the extra absurd mile to keep up the enthusiasm—and this can be excused, when the on-field entertainment consists of just-passing-throughs and never-will-bes....

Real Madrid Won Everything And Don't Have Much To Show For It
Real Madrid, whose riches and fame and consistent, historic success as a club are unmatched in soccer’s long history, just capped off one of their greatest seasons ever—and it was just the latest of a string of triumphant years that by all rights should indelibly brand this era as their own. They pu...

Deadspin Up All Night: Why Can't I Get Just One Kiss?
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Kill it Emma....

A Golf Course Is A Good Place For A Bear To Get A Snack
A golf course has many pleasures to offer an adventurous bear: fields of fresh-cut grass, flags to play with, and sandwiches to be stolen from defenseless jamokes....

Seahawks Think Colin Kaepernick Is Overqualified To Play For The Seahawks
The Seahawks have found another backup for quarterback Russell Wilson. It just won’t be Colin Kaepernick, who apparently is too good for the job....

Five Gulf Countries Cut Ties With Qatar; FIFA Has No Comment
Five Arab countries—Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, the United Arab Emirates, and Yemen—have severed diplomatic ties with Qatar, cut off all travel to and from the country, and ordered their citizens to leave the country. According to the BBC, the countries have accused Qatar of destabilizing the regi...

Former Newcastle Midfielder Cheick Tiote Dead At 30 After Collapsing During Training
Former Cote d’Ivoire international midfielder Cheick Tiote died this morning after collapsing during a training session with his Chinese club. A spokesman for second-division side Beijing Enterprise confirmed the news to the BBC. Tiote spent the bulk of his career with Newcastle, amassing 156 appear...