f Page 1294 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

They Didn't Even Make The Playoffs This Year
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Auburn Takes The Easy Road, Lets AD Jay Jacobs Resign At His Convenience
After a 13-year run at Auburn that was equal parts success and scandal, Tigers athletic director Jay Jacobs made use of the Friday news dump to announce that he will retire either next June or whenever Auburn hires his replacement....

Pat Neshek Will Autograph A Printed-Out Blog Post If You Mail It To Him
In September, we published a blog about Rockies reliever and avid baseball memorabilia collector Pat Neshek being miffed that Zack Greinke would not sign autographs for him. It ended with this line:...

Clean Up Now
A lie I tell myself with dismal regularity is Ugh, fuck, I am too tired and burned out to tidy up tonight, I’ll do it in the morning. That is not how it works. In my more caffeinated moments, this is obvious....
![Report: Ooh Shit, NFL Owners Have To Turn Over Their Phones [Correction]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/eadjrfdvolpwiv2l9kqu.jpg)
Report: Ooh Shit, NFL Owners Have To Turn Over Their Phones [Correction]
As a result of Colin Kaepernick’s collusion grievance against the NFL, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, Texans owner Bob McNair, and Patriots owner Bob Kraft will have to turn over their phones, according to ESPN’s Adam Schefter. Those three might not be the only ones, either:...

Police Seek Felony Charges Against USC Player Who Leveled Fan
The USC Trojans lost 30-27 to the Washington State Cougars on Sept. 29, and at the end of the game the Washington State fans rushed the field. During the chaos, USC defensive lineman Liam Jimmons was seen laying out one of the Washington State fans....

Saints Hit Back At Navy Vet Who Refused To Accept Award From Team
The New Orleans Saints wanted to honor Navy veteran John Wells at this weekend’s game by giving him an award for his life accomplishments. Wells, who is the executive director of the Military Veterans Advocacy group, declined the award....

Everybody Hates Thursday Football
Did you watch last night’s 34-21 Jets win over the Bills? Even if you’re a football fan, there’s a good chance you didn’t. The NFL’s expanded Thursday slate rubs players the wrong way, and with general viewership declines, many media executives are blaming the Thursday games for the public’s general...

Clayton Kershaw's Quotes About Postseason Failure Are Killing Me
The narrative of Clayton Kershaw’s playoff failure was always something bigger and more intense than it had any logical right to be. It conveniently ignored key context of managerial decisions and bullpen strength, not to mention brushed aside the number of perfectly fine and even good postseason st...

Scummy Fuck Joe Ricketts Shuts Down DNAinfo, Gothamist After Writers Unionize
Joe Ricketts, TD Ameritrade founder, billionaire, and father of Chicago Cubs chairman Tom Ricketts, shut down the local news network of DNAinfo and Gothamist sites today, a week after the writers voted to unionize. Anyone attempting to reach one of the sites was redirected to this letter:...

The NFL's Stupid Pizza Wars Were Always Coming
Before he was installed by the electoral college as Supreme Grand Primate Of THE GREAT UNRAVELING, Donald Trump was just one of the more poignant accounts on Twitter. There was nothing sympathetic about him, really, because there has never been anything sympathetic about him. He has been the same wa...

Patrice Evra Ejected From Game Before It Even Starts After Kicking Fan In The Head
Former Manchester United defender and current Marseille player Patrice Evra will not play in his team’s Europa League match today after he channeled his inner Eric Cantona and karate kicked a fan of his own team in the face. Here’s a photo of the incident:...

Report: Texans Fear Deshaun Watson Tore His ACL
More bad NFL injury news came today, this time in Houston. According to Ian Rapoport, rookie QB Deshaun Watson may have suffered a torn ACL on a non-contact injury in practice this afternoon....

Auburn Suspends Two Players Likely Tied To FBI Investigation
Auburn announced on Thursday that men’s basketball players Austin Wiley and Danjel Purifoy have been suspended indefinitely. While the school did not specify the reason for their suspensions, the fact that they were recommended by the school’s compliance department confirms that they are “Player 1" ...

Are The Bills Actually Good? They're Getting There<em></em>
The Buffalo Bills are 5-2. If the season were to end right at this moment (which it won’t, probably), the Bills would be in line for the No. 5 seed in the AFC. And with a win tonight at the Jets, they could pull even with the Patriots for first place in the AFC East. But are the Bills really any goo...

Take Away The Refs' Mics
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here. ...

Colts Give Up, Shut Down Andrew Luck For The Season
Indianapolis Colts QB Andrew Luck didn’t play at the start of the season because of his injured shoulder, and now he won’t play for any part of it. The team officially placed him on injured reserve for the remainder of the year....

Greetings From Palau, The Micronesian Archipelago That Baseball Built
KOROR, Palau—What would a country run by baseball players look like? Would it be a sabermetrics-driven technocracy? A clutch-obsessed theocracy? A cup-adjusting macho dystopia?...

Was Duane Brown Traded Out Of Spite?<em></em>
Of all the batshit moves made (and not made, if you’re Cleveland) at the shockingly active close of the NFL’s trade deadline, the one that will probably have the greatest impact on this year’s playoff race was Houston sending franchise LT Duane Brown to Seattle for draft picks....

David Fizdale Calls Out Mario Chalmers: "His Brain Was Gone"
The Memphis Grizzlies are in a tough spot. They are a perennial playoff team on the descent, not good enough to do much more than scrap for tough wins every night and compete for a bottom-rung playoff spot. Things got a little worse last night, with star point guard Mike Conley on the bench with an ...