f Page 1429 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why The Seahawks Are Shopping Richard Sherman
John Schneider, in a fit of rare, on-the-record candor for an NFL general manager, confirmed this morning that all those Richard Sherman trade rumors are true....
Penguins Fan Flips Very Solid Double-Bird
The Penguins beat the Blue Jackets 4-1 yesterday, and the best performance of the night belonged not to anyone on the ice, but to this spectator:...
Asshole Kentucky Fans Are Still Harassing And Threatening Elite Eight Referee
It’s been 10 days now, and some Kentucky fans, when not shoveling out their overflowing diapers, are still making harassing phone calls to and trying to sink the business of longtime referee John Higgins....
FC Dallas Crash Out Of CONCACAF Champions League After Conceding Very Stupid Goal
FC Dallas trailed Liga MX club Pachuca 2-1 in the second leg of the CONCACAF Champions League semifinal on Tuesday night, but with the score tied 3-3 on aggregate and 1-1 on away goals in its final minute, it looked destined for extra time. ...
St. Louis Citizens Reject Paying For An MLS Stadium
St. Louis is one of 12 cities vying a spot in the next round of MLS expansion, which will see four new teams join the league over the next few years. Sacramento is virtually assured a spot, despite some wild ownership shenanigans, which means that the other cities up for a spot face stiffer competit...
Russell Westbrook Has A Double-Double For The Season<em></em>
Tonight, Russell Westbrook scored 12 points, grabbed 13 rebounds, and handed out 13 assists in a rout of the listless Milwaukee Bucks. The 13 rebounds that Westbrook grabbed give him 822 for the season through 77 games. Westbrook is already well over the 820 points he’d need to average double-digit ...
Desperate NFL Puts Shitty Thursday Night Games On Website Belonging To <i>Washington Post</i> Owner
Thursday Night Football, which features tired NFL teams playing in ugly jerseys, tried out an experiment last season and streamed 10 of its games on Twitter. I tried watching once and promptly saw Twitter’s wonderful “social” integration alert me that someone had scored a touchdown before I saw anyt...
High School Pole Vaulter Annihilates Pro Field, Breaks A Bunch Of Records
Mondo Duplantis is not only the best-named high school athlete in the country, he’s also one of the best. Last weekend, Duplantis was competing in pole vault at the Texas Relays in the men’s elite division. Duplantis is a junior at Lafayette High School in Louisiana, yet he smoked a field that conta...
Wine Magnate Confesses To Defrauding Tim Duncan Out Of Millions
Charles Banks is a 49-year-old wine executive who runs Terroir Capital, an investment firm that’s put some $200 million into a variety of California wineries. Banks also invests in hotels and owns half of Mayacamas Winery, a 128-year-old winery in Napa, California. Banks met Tim Duncan in 1997 and D...
Eldense Coach And General Manager Arrested After Team Loses 12-0 To Barcelona B
Spanish third division side Eldense lost 12-0 to Barcelona’s B team this weekend. Though Barcelona B is at the top of their group table and Eldense the bottom—the loss sealed their relegation—they probably aren’t 12 goals better, suggesting an alternative explanation for the thumping loss: match-fix...
Some NFL Owners Think Roger Goodell Is Making Too Much Money
NFL owners don’t just look for ways to squeeze players and municipalities when it comes to finances: The league is reportedly getting ready to play hardball with frontman Roger Goodell, too....
Reporter Congratulates Loser Rafael Nadal On Win
Right after losing the Miami Open title to Roger Federer in straight sets Sunday, Rafael Nadal was asked how he felt about his “win.”...
Georgia's Useless Title IX Bill Didn't Pass This Year But Could Return In 2018
Georgia House Bill 51, also known as the “campus rape bill,” didn’t pass the state legislature this year, but that doesn’t mean the proposal is dead. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution this is, “the first of a two-year legislative session, anything that didn’t pass this week is still aliv...
The Evil New Toy Fad That Must Be Destroyed<em></em>
I was on single parent duty this weekend because the wife was on a gals’ vacation, so I took my older son to a soccer game and had to bring the younger one as well. And before we left, I asked the four-year-old, “You wanna use the bathroom?”...
Tony Romo's Retirement Means The Texans Are Basically Fucked
Now that Tony Romo’s going to be Jim Nantz’s wingman, the real question left wafting in the air is this: What the hell are the Houston Texans going to do?...
Trump Conspiracy Tweetstorms Are The Infowars Of The Left
The fastest-growing career in America is not, as the Bureau of Labor Statistics would have you believe, in installing and repairing wind turbines. The fastest-growing career is doing 63 tweets in a row about why Donald Trump is a Manchurian president....
WADA And The IOC Will Do Whatever They Please With Positive Tests<em></em>
A report from German broadcast network ARD—which previously broadcast bombshells about FIFA corruption in Qatar and unpunished doping activity—claims that the IOC covered up doping cases from the 2008 Beijing Olympics. German journalist Hajo Seppelt reports that “in 2016 during the re-analysis for b...
What Year Is It?
What the hell is going on, here? I thought the show about the guys breaking out of prison ended like eight years ago. Now I am seeing commercials that are all like This Tuesday ... [grim men looking at each other through chain-link fence] ... on Fox ... [sooty-faced men being serious] ... you can ne...
Reports: Tony Romo Will Replace Phil Simms In CBS Broadcast Booth
Tony Romo, who will be released today by the Cowboys and reportedly retire, will join the CBS broadcasting booth and be paired with Jim Nantz as the network’s lead football analyst, reports John Ourand and Adam Schefter. Schefter adds that he might eventually broadcast golf for CBS as well....
Tony Romo: A Career In Takes
If Tony Romo deserves to be remembered for anything, it’s that he managed to make nearly everyone look fucking stupid....