f Page 1437 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Humorless Dickhole Business Writer Very Upset About March Madness Pools<em></em>
As much as we here at Deadspin like to poke fun at sportswriters and political hot-take artists, the truth is that business journalists may be the lowliest scum of all. We’re all horrified by Darren Rovell, and yet there’s only ONE of him in sports. Really, that man is just a business reporter in sp...
Just Like You, Roger Goodell Hates Commercial Breaks After Kickoffs
NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell wrote an open letter today, and he wants you, loyal football watcher, to know that he cares about Making It Right. That’s why the league claims it plans to deal with the game’s glacial pace and interminable commercial breaks. ...
We Got Jim Harbaugh’s Itemized Expenses And They’re Kind Of Lame<em></em><em></em>
We all know big boy Jim Harbaugh loves a tall glass of whole milk. Questions remain. Some, like How much does he love milk? are perhaps unanswerable. Others, though, like How much does the highest-paid public employee in the state of Michigan’s milk lust cost taxpayers?, aren’t. In an attempt to fin...
Nick Saban Sure Was Cranky About A Lot Of Things Yesterday
Jim Harbaugh prefers Twitter as the space to hold court on matters he’s pissed off about; Nick Saban is old-fashioned—a presser with an eager reporter will do just fine....
Oh, Cool, The NFL Is Trying To Kill One More Vestige Of Weirdness
The NFL’s determination to erase fun from its sport isn’t limited to its staid distribution of training videos for touchdown dances. The Washington Post and ESPN have reported that the league’s competition committee is also set to consider a proposal to ban leaping over the line of scrimmage on extr...
Wayne Rooney's Potential Return To Everton Actually Makes Lots Of Sense
It’s long felt inevitable that one of these days Everton’s prodigal son Wayne Rooney would return home. Judging from a report in the Independent that quotes sources close to Everton and Manchester United as believing the move is “likely to happen” this summer, we might be mere months away from seein...
Dan Duquette: Orioles Fans Hate Jose Bautista, Prefer "Working Class" Players
Over the summer, Orioles general manager Dan Duquette told then-free agent outfielder Jose Bautista that the O’s weren’t in a position to sign him because of how despised he is by Baltimore fans. In an interview with MLB.com yesterday, Duquette reiterated that theory and went one step further, expla...
NFL Developing New Way To Drain All Joy From Sport For No Reason
The NFL will develop “an educational training video” on how to celebrate a fucking touchdown, according to a tweet this morning by executive vice president of football operations Troy Vincent, who if this was not the most embarrassing thing he has ever announced in public has had an extremely awful ...
We're Getting Ever Closer To The Las Vegas Raiders
NFL owners are now expected to vote at next week’s league meetings in Phoenix on the future of the Raiders, who have filled out the paperwork to move to Las Vegas and who recently locked down financing for a $1.9 billion stadium, including a record $750 million in public money. And it sounds like it...
<i>Wheel Of Fortune </i>Contestant Completely Blows It<em></em>
Damnit, Kevin, you got so close before your horniness undid you....
LeBron Tells LaVar Ball To Fall Back
One of the many outlandish claims that Lonzo Ball’s dad LaVar made on his recent press tour to proclaim the supreme basketball ability of his three sons was that his kids were set up for success in the NBA more than LeBron’s two sons. Specifically, Ball said that LeBron’s sons aren’t primed for NBA ...
Internecine Broadcast Conflict Breaks Out During Pirates Spring Training Game
During today’s spring training game between the Pirates and Rays, the Pirates broadcast team decided to try a fun experiment. The TV and radio color commentators (Steve Blass, Bob Walk, and John Wehner) would handle the TV broadcast, while the guys who usually do play-by-play on the radio (Joe Block...
Three Minnesota Football Players Cleared In University Sexual Assault Case
Three football players who were recommended for suspensions as part of a University of Minnesota sexual assault investigation have had those punishments overturned, lawyers for the players announced yesterday. After this latest round of appeals, so far four of the five recommended expulsions in the...
Jim Harbaugh Freakin' Loves Twitter
Michigan head coach Jim Harbaugh sat down with GQ to talk about peanut butter, treating his eight-year-old kids like his football players, and some other stuff—you can read the full interview here. What really jumped out from the piece, though, was the fact that the Wolverines head coach really, rea...
Knives, Ranked<em></em>
I had an annoying dream the other night where I was in an airport and missed a flight. I woke up, shook it off, and then went right back to sleep. And you know what happened? The dream CONTINUED. I shut my eyes and was right back with the fucking gate agent. You know how many times I’ve tried to kee...
Bill Simmons Shows Entire World His Ass
You wanna see some petty shit? Here’s some extremely petty shit:...
You Are About To Be One Dumb Accident Away From Bankruptcy, If You Aren't Already
There are some nights when it keeps me up in a panicked haze. What if I get hit by a car while I’m running? What if I take a spill on my bike and tear some ligaments or, worse, have to take an ambulance to the hospital from some far flung road outside the city where I live? An x-ray? I’m eating lent...
The Jets Are A Dynasty Of Quarterback Mentorship
By signing Josh McCown, the Jets have extended one of the NFL’s most enduring storylines: The Veteran Quarterback As Valuable Mentor. The team’s fans are no doubt delighted....
Starting Extra Innings With Runners On Base Just Plain Sucks
Bunt, sacrifice fly, intentional walk. Those are three of the most boring plays in baseball, and if MLB actually implements its proposed rule to start the 11th inning and beyond with men on first and second, we’ll be seeing scores of games decided by some combination of those plays....
Fake Strongmen Fool Morning News Shows, Create Deeply Stupid TV
Local morning news shows have a lot of air to fill each day. So when a pair claiming to be an inspirational strongman duo blasted out a press release—citing a nonexistent tour and an America’s Got Talent appearance, and offering no video or documentation—they were immediately booked by seven differe...