f Page 1506 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Report: Adrian Peterson Could Be Back In A Month
Adrian Peterson’s career with the Vikings looked like it might have ended when he tore his meniscus in the second game of the season against the Packers. He had surgery two months ago, right after the injury, but even then, the prospects of return in 2016 looked bleak. Minimum recovery time from a “...
Suicidal Squirrel Takes Down Squirrel-Hating Chicago Politician
Howard Brookins can’t stand squirrels....
Here's The Best Sports Highlight Of The Day
I really, really don’t want to spoil this for you. So I won’t....
Texas Players Give Charlie Strong Standing Ovation After Press Conference
Texas head coach Charlie Strong may not have the support of Longhorn boosters, but he’s got his players, and that’s going to make this break-up even messier....
Accused Sexual Abuser Kevin Johnson Meets With Accused Sexual Abuser Donald Trump
This past Saturday, disgraced school-privatization activist Michelle Rhee brought her husband, disgraced outgoing Sacramento mayor Kevin Johnson, to a meeting with Donald Trump at the president-elect’s golf club, where they discussed her possible nomination as secretary of education. Trump met that ...
Blake Bortles Bortled Again
Upon witnessing Blake Bortles throw an interception off his own player’s shoe last week against the Texans, you may have thought: “Well, here’s something I’ll never see again in my life.” If so, may I say: Friend, you underestimated Blake Bortles....
Vontaze Burfict Injures Bills Receiver, Flips Off Home Crowd
Vontaze Burfict is nothing if not consistent, and an asshole....
New Baseball Team Picks A Name And I Learn About A Scary New Animal
A team from Fond du Lac, Wisc., will field a team in the Northwoods League, a collegiate summer baseball league, beginning next year. Today they announced the team name. It’s that....
Joe Thomas Is Also Frustrated With The Browns' Offensive Line
After Cody Kessler was forced from Sunday’s 24-9 loss to the Steelers because of concussion protocol, Terrelle Pryor called the continued hits on the Browns’ rotating cast of quarterbacks “bullcrap,” while venting his frustration that the offensive line was allowing too many tackles....
The Raptors Got Screwed Out Of A Game-Tying Buzzer-Beater<em></em>
Toronto Raptors wing Terrence Ross sent last night’s game against the Sacramento Kings into overtime with this buzzer-beating three:...
Susan Collins Is Still An Asshole
In the wake of a divisive presidential election, America is seeking unifying political figures. It is an important time to reaffirm the fact that moderate Maine Republican Senator Susan Collins is, indeed, an asshole....
Vikings Plowing Over Fox Sound Guy, In Extreme Slow Motion
“It was the stupidest thing in 20 years doing this job,” Bernie Beaudry says. “I only saw the smoke. I didn’t see anybody coming, and then, boom!”...
Labor Confronts Management
Skins QB Kirk Cousins threw for 375 yards and three touchdowns as Washington stomped the Packers 42-24 Sunday night. Cousins, who’s on a $19 million franchise tag, made his case on the field for a long-term deal, and then made it again in GM Scot McCloughan’s face:...
Jeff Fisher Pleased With Jared Goff's Ability To Perform Basic Functions
No. 1 overall pick Jared Goff finally made his first start at quarterback for the Los Angeles Rams yesterday, and he looked a lot like the player we saw in the preseason, which is to say he was kind of butt....
That Moment When You Realize You Should Have Just Stayed On The Sideline
We’re taught to give it our all in tasks, regardless of the outcome, because even if the effort doesn’t produce the desired result, at least you tried your best. This line of thinking does not apply to Green Bay Packers linebacker Kyler Fackrell....
The Packers Are Bad
There’s a difference between playing bad football and being a bad football team, but a few things can provide the benefit of the doubt: name recognition, recent success, and a quarterback with the ability to win games singlehandedly. But the Green Bay Packers have been playing such terrible football...
Michigan State Holds On Against FGCU After Incredible Clock Operator Blunder [Update]
Michigan State claimed its second win of the year after the 13th-ranked Spartans beat Florida Gulf Coast thanks in part to a clock blunder on the game’s final play that officials decided to let stand....
Texas: We Haven't Officially Decided To Fire Charlie Strong Yet<em></em>
Hours after the Austin American-Statesman reported today that Texas officials had decided to fire head football coach Charlie Strong, the university released a statement dismissing the “rumors.” But their statement didn’t express support for Strong either, saying they would “evaluate the body of wor...
Jaguars Junction: Week 11
The city of Detroit has been through a hell of a lot. ...