f Page 1604 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
UEFA Is Sick And Tired Of All These Adorable Children
Some of the most endearing images from the Euros were snapped after Wales beat Belgium in the quarterfinals, when some of the ecstatic Welshmen celebrated the feat alongside their adorable children. Naturally, the haters at UEFA didn’t like these photos of pure joy and don’t want the scenes to be re...
Russian Players Punished For Allegedly Spending €250K On Champagne After Euros Loss
The video you see above—in which an unending stream of bartenders at a Monaco nightclub lug bucket after bucket after bucket of Armand de Brignac champagne (about €500 per bottle, times the reported 500 bottles in circulation, equalling a €250,000 bar tab—not counting tip and sparkler fees) to the t...
Braying Shitheel Mike Lupica Pens Worst Possible Column About Kevin Durant
It’s the question on America’s mind: After Kevin Durant abandoned Oklahoma City to join forces with the Golden State Warriors and their garbage fans, who would blurt out the shittiest, most predictably obnoxious, pseudo-macho take possible? Would it be Stephen A. Smith, who previously threatened Dur...
Deadspin Awards: Best Bills Fan
The Deadspin Awards are this month, and we need our readers to decide the winners of these prestigious honors. Today, we ask you to help us determine the answer to an important question: Who is the best Buffalo Bills fan of them all?...
How To Plan Your Lunches And Learn To Love Savory Rhubarb<em></em>
Before this week, I had never eaten rhubarb. This is because I am of the firm belief that any dessert without chocolate is not worth my time and—even though rhubarb is a vegetable and pie is almost universally not worth the effort—people insist on serving rhubarb in pie form. Maybe it’s got somethin...
Zack Hample Apologizes For Ballhawking At MLB's Fort Bragg Game
The Miami Marlins and Atlanta Braves played a game Sunday at Fort Bragg, a military base in North Carolina. It was the first MLB game to be played at an active base, and the crowd was filled with military members. Also in that crowd was ballhawk Zack Hample....
Man Plays Pick-Up Game In Full Michael Jordan Uniform
Some people play pick-up basketball because they enjoy casually recreating with their buddies. Others play because they want to re-live their high school glory days. This man plays because the only thing he knows how to be is great:...
Doc Rivers Is Still A Terrible GM
The Los Angeles Clippers lost in the first round of the playoffs to the upstart Portland Trail Blazers. Though it is true that they were without the injured Chris Paul and Blake Griffin, it was their fifth straight season getting bounced before the Conference Finals. And then this offseason the Warr...
What You're Doing When You Call My Brother "Retarded"
I have never been a violent person, at least not instinctively. Whenever I was teased as a child—I struggled to read for much of elementary school and wore a lot of white jeans, so I was teased a lot—I’d opt for silence or a quick joke, usually at my own expense. I’d level my aggressor with my appar...
CBS Reports Kevin Durant Signs With Thunder, Is Probably Full Of Shit<em></em>
Kevin Durant has agreed to return to the Oklahoma City Thunder, according to a CBS Sports report this morning that either features people broadcasting from the future or reporting a story before it actually happened....
CBS Reports Kevin Durant Signs With Warriors, Is Probably Full Of Shit<em></em>
Kevin Durant has agreed to a max deal with the Golden State Warriors, according to a CBS Sports report this morning that either features people broadcasting from the future or reporting a story before it actually happened....
CBS Reports Kevin Durant Signs With Celtics, Is Probably Full Of Shit
Kevin Durant has agreed to a max deal with the Boston Celtics, according to a CBS Sports report this morning that either features people broadcasting from the future or reporting a story before it actually happened....
Dodgers Game Interrupted By Hot Dog-Hating Idiots
We have learned much about Vin Scully in this, his 67th and final season calling the Dodgers. He hates socialism, for example, and today we learned he hates Idiots On The Field—especially the kind protesting the existence of hot dogs, like those who interrupted today’s game in Los Angeles....
Iceland Turn Back Into A Pumpkin, Give Up Four First-Half Goals To France
Iceland headed into their quarterfinal with France on the high of destroying England and sending the over-anxious Anglos into full meltdown mode. The entirety of Iceland has been watching their Viking boys wreck shit and play coherent, organized soccer, and an upset against France would be easily th...
Jo-Wilfried Tsonga Beats John Isner After 36-Game Final Set
John Isner, whose 2010 match against Nicolas Mahut was the longest in history, faced another marathon today at Wimbledon against Jo-Wilfried Tsonga—and came out on the losing end, this time, 6-7, 3-6, 7-6, 6-2, 19-17 as the Frenchman overcame a double fault in the decisive game to beat the American....
On The First Day, The Tour De France Featured These Two Crashes<em></em>
The opening stage of the Tour de France was a wild one. The feared crosswinds of northern France did not split up the race and produce time gaps between general classification contenders like they did last year. Heavy winds can make it impossible for riders that come unmoored from the peloton to fig...
The Human Highlight Shill
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This Is The Ultimate Florida Story
This week the Tampa Bay Times published a bonkers story that is so exceptionally Floridian that I have to share it with you all. It features partying, foreclosures, drugs, The Undertaker, racketeering, and a cosmetic surgeon, among other things....