f Page 1666 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The USMNT Are Who We Thought They Were
The United States Men’s National Team beat the pants off of Guatemala 4-0 tonight, avoiding the disaster scenario and setting themselves up to advance to the final round of CONCACAF World Cup Qualifying. But while the victory was comprehensive, there were plenty of worrying signs for the USMNT’s fut...
UFC Star Jon Jones Arrested For Violating His Probation
UFC star Jon Jones turned himself in to authorities today, after a judge issued a warrant for his arrest for a probation violation, reports TMZ. The violation is for the five citations Jones was handed for allegedly drag racing in Albuquerque, New Mexico—Jones says he was simply revving his engine a...
Soccer Club's Interim Social Media Coordinator Abandons Twitter Duties To Play In Game
Deep in the lowest levels of the English soccer pyramid, the modern club needs its players to fill multiple roles in order to survive. Your backup striker might need to double as the electrician when the lights in the locker room go out. Your utility defender might be called upon to check the team b...
Dimitri Payet Is Too Good At Free Kicks
Seriously. You shouldn’t be able to score from this far out:...
Jim Nantz Appears To Be Insane
In attempt to teach you what real pain is, Golf Digest decided to let Jim Nantz go Kerouac on everyone’s ass. You should never expose yourself to Jim Nantz’s stream-of-consciousness musings, but I would like to briefly draw your attention to his deeply disturbing anecdote about toast:...
Guy Falls At The Start, Gets Trampled, And Wins World Half Marathon Championship
Now this is how to win the World Half Marathon Championship. Kenyan ace Geoffrey Kamworor’s ripping victory in 59:10 (that’s averaging four minutes and 30 seconds per mile for 13.1 miles) at Sunday’s race in Cardiff, Wales, is a thing of physiological wonder. That any human could scissor his legs ov...
Teleportation Is The Best Superpower, And We’re Getting Closer
I’m not going to waste too many words selling you on that first idea. Of course teleportation is the best superpower, and I’m confident you know that regardless of how you feel about planes, trains, or automobiles. Teleportation is so good that if you had one wish, and world peace was on the table, ...
The Deranged True Story Of <i>Heavy Metal Parking Lot</i>, The <i>Citizen Kane</i> Of Wasted Teenage Metalness
Suburban dirtballs of the 1980s are a lost culture, worthy of academic study, that disappeared abruptly, leaving mysterious artifacts for future generations to work over. Think of them as, say, the ancient Mayans, only with mullets....
NFL Demands Retraction From <i>New York Times</i>
The NFL is still all worked up about that New York Times story that revealed the league’s initial studies on the link between football and CTE to have been based on bunk data. They’re so worked up, in fact, that the league’s lawyers sent a letter to the Times, demanding retraction while making vague...
Intense Hockey Referee Is A Good Referee
Referee Wes McCauley needed a replay review to confirm a questionable Melker Karlsson goal during last night’s Kings-Sharks game, and he went all out when making the call:...
Jonathan Bernier Accidentally Spit On An Ice Crew Member
Excellent reaction by Bernier here....
The USMNT Better Goddamn Beat Guatemala
The United States Men’s National Team is in danger of failing to qualify for the 2018 World Cup. If it happened, it would be the first time the USMNT missed the world’s greatest sporting event since Mexico in 1986. If they lose to Guatemala Tuesday night, they’ll need an awful lot of help from Saint...
Little Kid Runs Onto The Court To Hug Carmelo Anthony
Little man here must live in a state of perpetual basketball disappointment: his hometown team is the New Orleans Pelicans, and he likes Carmelo Anthony. So if Carmelo Anthony is in town and he has tickets in the lower bowl, he’s going to sprint onto the court and get a hug, dadgummit....
If You See Something, Say Something. Unless It's About A Fellow American.
Molly Huddle’s smudge-less, next-big-thing in U.S. distance running status took a little hit on March 20, at the NYC Half Marathon. With $20,000 for first and $10,000 less for second on the line, Huddle’s left arm—maybe under the influence of the fight-or-flight, primitive sportsmanship-be-damned pa...
Arda Turan Matter-Of-Factly Burns Arsenal
After sitting out the first half of the season because of Barcelona’s transfer ban, Arda Turan is finally settling in at the Camp Nou. He spoke with Catalan paper Diari Ara recently for a wide-ranging interview, touching upon everything from his Barcelona experience to the current political situatio...
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A Reminder That Anthony Martial Is Still A Goddamn Child
It’s easy to lose sight of the fact that, notwithstanding his huge transfer fee and his multimillion-dollar salary and his formidable size and his surprisingly advanced game, underneath it all, Manchester United forward Anthony Martial is still just a kid....
Jon Jones To Cop Who Pulled Him Over: "You Are An Absolute Fucking Liar"
UFC star Jon Jones was cited for drag racing in Albuquerque, New Mexico, on March 24. TMZ got its hands on body-camera footage from the officer who cited Jones, and if you’ve ever wanted to see a famous athlete exchange school-yard put-downs with a cop, this is your lucky day:...