f Page 1754 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Browns Still Won't Commit To Johnny Manziel, For Some Reason
Johnny Manziel’s final stat line from last night’s game against the Bengals—15-of-33 for 168 yards and one touchdown—was built mostly off of Manziel’s solid first half, and isn’t the kind of line that would normally guarantee a starting role in the next game. But on a 2-7 team whose only other optio...
The Detroit Lions Are An Even Sadder Franchise Than You Thought
The Detroit Lions expected to be a playoff team this year. Instead, they’re 1-7, and today owner Martha Ford began assessing blame for their failure, firing GM Martin Mayhew and president Tom Lewand. The Lions coaching staff, including head coach Jim Caldwell, is reportedly safe. ...
Kyle Turley: "Suicidal And Homicidal Tendencies Became A Part Of My Daily Living"
Former NFL offensive lineman Kyle Turley appeared on Highly Questionable today to push for more research into the usage of marijuana to treat football injuries, instead of pharmaceuticals. Since he retired in 2007, Turley has been quite outspoken about the damaging health effects of football. He was...
Allow The Buffalo Sabres To Tell You Why Drugs Are Bad
Here’s a slice from the past: What appears to be the 1985 Buffalo Sabres sang an anti-drug song for the children. A nice person uploaded it to YouTube so we could all enjoy the hockey hair and awkward dancing....
Joe Theismann Says He Did Not Tell A Man Looking For An Autograph To Grow Some Tits
On Nov. 2, someone on Twitter claimed that his uncle asked former Skins quarterback Joe Theismann for an autograph, and Theismann told the man to grow some tits. Wow, that’s harsh. Did Joe really do that? He responded today:...
<i>The Final Girls </i>Is The Nadir Of Meta-Horror, Which Is The Nadir Of Real Horror
If you’re a horror fan, you’ve noticed that every few months, there’s a new entry in the genre that’s explicitly marketed to non-fans, with blogs and critics hyping “your new favorite horror film” and granting best-since-whatever status to a certain kind of movie. Think titles like Tucker & Dale vs....
One Mystery And Four Other Good Stories From The New York City Marathon
Gosh, it was fun to see a woman with some healthiness about her and FIEN—who is FIEN?—printed on her bib, out front just killing it in Sunday’s New York City Marathon. And wasn’t it a marvel to watch that cheetah Wilson Kipsang loping along at 5:05 or so per mile, easy as cracking a cold one? ...
<i>Houston Chronicle</i> Accidentally Burns Urban Meyer, Apologizes
Ohio State head coach Urban Meyer took a dig at Alabama today when he disclosed the name of his team’s field goal return play. (It’s a reference to the 2013 Iron Bowl, in which the Crimson Tide found a way to fuck up a tie game with one second left in regulation, you see.) One employee at the Housto...
Ken Shamrock Talking About Getting Knocked Out By Kimbo Slice Will Make You Sad
After nearly five years without a fight, Ken Shamrock, 51, came out of retirement this summer to fight Kimbo Slice, a 41-year-old brawler who hadn’t fought in five years himself. From the start, it figured to be an ugly, bizarre affair. It was....
How To Argue Without Ruining Your Relationship
So here’s the thing about romantic relationships: They’re work....
How To Fix The NFL’s Quarterback Crisis
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Reports: The Detroit Lions Are Cleaning House
The Detroit Lions have a long history of sucking, but in recent seasons, the team broke tradition and tried winning. They were 11-5 last season, and came very close to making the second round of the playoffs. The Lions were supposed to build on that, but through eight games this season, they’re 1-7....
VOTE MARV BUSH 2016
It has been a lousy month for Jeb Bush, gang. He’s running out of cash. His polls numbers are in the shitter. He spends a lot of time now tending to his email. And he appears to be publicly melting into a puddle of tepid lip-sweat before our very eyes, if this tweet is to be believed....
Rural Kansas High School Football Player Dies After Collapsing On Sideline
Luke Schemm, a football player at Wallace County High in tiny Sharon Springs, Kan., died Wednesday, after collapsing during Tuesday night’s playoff game. Schemm was airlifted to a Denver hospital but was declared brain dead, and eventually taken off life support today. He collapsed on the sideline a...
Warriors Owner: I Did Some Fuck Stuff With The Larry O’Brien Trophy
Here’s a bone-chilling collection of words from Haute Living’s new profile of Warriors owner Joe Lacob:...
The "Is A Hot Dog A Sandwich?" Debate Has Reached The Bills' Locker Room
Outside of things that end in “chan” or “gate,” nothing has done more to turn the internet into the trash heap that it is than one terrible question: Is a hot dog a sandwich? Now, those evil words have found victims inside the Buffalo Bills locker room....
The Best And Dumbest Meme Is Unfolding On The Panthers' Facebook Page
The Carolina Panthers are 7-0. But here’s something to ponder: what if the undefeated NFC South team was actually ... 6-1?...
These Teams Earned The Most From The Military's "Paid Patriotism"
Senate investigators report that the Department of Defense has spent more than $9 million over the last four years on military tributes at sporting events, carefully staged patriotic displays meant to drum up goodwill and recruiting that weren’t publicly disclosed as paid advertisements....
The Superb Investigative-Journalism Drama <i>Spotlight </i>Makes Competence Riveting
Inspirational true stories trumpet lots of commendable human traits—heroism, perseverance, compassion—but Spotlight may be the first to celebrate competence. Based on the 2001 Boston Globe investigation that revealed the depth of the Catholic Church’s coverup of clergy sexual misconduct, this straig...
Don't Do That: A Harrowing "Ask A Lawyer" Lightning Round
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below. Today, we’re tackling the weirdest emails we’ve gotten so far, all at once. Let’s hit it. ...