f Page 3179 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Last Night's Winner: The Stupid Zone Defense
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Phoenix Suns' 2-3 zone, which has thus far discombobulated the Lakers and which is otherwise a regrettable development for hoopish fops like me....
Albert Haynesworth Was In Love With A Stripper (Until She Got Pregnant)
So now he's not. The Brooklyn woman met Haynesworth at the Super Bowl, but he dumped her in March when she got in the family way. She's suing for $10 million, which is chump change for Dan Snyder employees. [NY Post]...
Target Field Squirrel Delays Game, Attacks Infielder
The Twins game was stopped in the fourth inning, as an errant squirrel made his way to the field. Brendan Harris nearly met his death, with nasty, big, pointy teeth....
After Seeing This Promo Pitch, Who Wouldn't Want To Go On A Cruise With Rick Dempsey?
Walkoff Walk discovered this gem of a YouTube video where one cadence-challenged pitchman tries to sell this Rick Dempsey (himself!) luxury cruise. You will. Talk like. This. All day. [WalkoffWalk]...
Mississippi State Recruit Bodyslams Math Teacher Onto Unemployment Line
Click to view Here's video of Jamerson Love, a cornerback for Aberdeen High School, wrestling now-former algebra teacher Shobul Johnson. Allegedly, Johnson asked his students to "black out the windows" and "move the furniture" before commencing to rumble. Then he got his asymptote kicked. [Rivals]...
Is The Dude Using The Printer Watching You Watch Porn?
I went into a fitting room the other day and the room had mirrors on three sides. This is fucking awesome. I'll never NOT feel like I've walked into the middle of Enter The Dragon when I encounter a room with this kind of arrangement. WHICH DREW IS THE REAL DREW?! Also, if you enjoy studying yoursel...
Pukey Phillies Fan Cops A Plea; His Crazy Uncle Weighs In
Matthew Clemmens pleaded guilty today to assault; he's expected to receive probation. But the real news is that we heard back from his conspiracy theorist uncle!...
Flyers Fan Thinks Live TV Is "F^@*ing Amazing"
Hey, you put a drunk Phillyite on live television, moments after their team wins the Eastern Conference Finals, and you're basically begging for an f-bomb. You simply cannot take hockey fans anywhere. [Crossing Broad]...
Minor Leaguers Mercilessly Teased For Their Giant, Goofy Heads
Big helmet or tiny head? Francisco Cervelli fans (hey, he has some!) have been wondering that for a few weeks now, but in the coming years an entire corps of MLB players may look like futuristic, yet dorky space travelers....
Flyers Inspiring Playoff Run Makes Area Blogger Look Bad
The Flyers—who had to beat the Rangers on the final day to get into the playoffs, remember—are in their first Stanley Cup Final since 1997. Good thing I optioned that inspiring sports movie idea. [Photo: AP]...
Pi Beta Phi: The Party-Menace Sorority Of The Midwest
Ohio University's branch of Pi Beta Phi held a winter formal and, just like their sisters at Miami University (of Ohio), they abandoned all forms of lady-likeness and terrorized the place where it was held. The Smoking Gun has the gory rundown....
Watch Randy Foye's Mystifying Canadian TV Debut
Washington Wizard Randy Foye performed some small screen magic by appearing in an episode of the Canadian TV show Wingin' It. What Randy Foye has to do with Canadian tweens and angels is beyond me. And probably Randy Foye, too. [via FreeDarko]...
Renovated MSG To Bring Sports Arenas Into (A Six-Year-Old's View Of) The Future
The first thing that jumps out at you in the renderings of the new-and-improved Madison Square Garden are two "sky bridges" that hang over the floor. Gimmicky? Yep. Sure to be ridiculously-priced for something higher than the highest nosebleeds? You betcha....
A Dog Bit Through This Ultimate Fighter's Penis
Kyacey Uscola was eliminated from The Ultimate Fighter last week. It was the high point of his week, as he soon received an unplanned second urethra opening from an ornery pit bull....
Intern Horrors: A Lengthy Stare-Down With Barry Bonds
Welcome to the inaugural edition of Intern Horrors, a weekly feature in which interns (and the people who hire them) get to complain. Today we have an MLB legend, a cooking accident, poop in a bank, and good old-fashioned menial labor....
Mourinho Celebrates With Incredible Display Of Spitting
For those of you too busy pinking up your faces and sloshing back summertime pints, Jose Mourinho had a great night on Saturday, bagging another Champions League trophy, before celebrating with a home made water fountain. Some highlights after the jump....
The Public Humiliation Diet: A How-To
I had terrible back pain and I needed to lose weight. I lost sixty pounds in five months. This is how I did it....
White Chocolate Would Really Prefer You Not Violate His Private Space, Mr. Reporter
The frustration of the Magic's poor showing thus far in the conference finals has reached its boiling point. Watch as Jason Williams swears a blue steak at a reporter, and Matt Barnes cannot help but laugh. H/T Jovan....
Supreme Court Rules Against NFL In Antitrust Case: What It All Means
Huge news out of DC this morning, as the Supreme Court overturned a ruling that would have given the NFL an effective antitrust exemption. Let's look at what this means for the sporting landscape....
Weekend Winner: The Chicago Blackhawks' Bandwagon
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the newest fans of the Stanley Cup finals-bound Blackhawks. They must feel really good about dropping $150 on that Patrick Kane jersey in the UC giftshop....