f Page 3188 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Dear Philadelphia Fans: Tase Yo'selves Before You Wreck Yo'selves
It seemed a bit excessive to zap the towel-waving teenage scamp at CBP, but the black hearts of Phillies fans really could use some seizure-causing high voltage right now....
Patriots Stand Up Middle Schoolers
A Connecticut middle school won the opportunity to work out with Patriots players. They received a visit from a team intern, and some exercise videos....
The $1 Million <em>MLB 2K10</em> Perfect Game Contest Has Come To An End
An Alabama man was the first to record a perfect game in the previously outlined contest, saying it was "a nice return on my investment." Commence hacky "now he can afford to move out of his mother's trailer" jokes below. [Kotaku]...
When Golf Meets Cliff Diving
A New Zealand man fell 100 feet off a cliff while looking for his golf ball yesterday. Looks like someone read that article on how valuable lost balls are. [New Zealand Herald]...
The Ohio State Continues The <em>Glee</em>-ification of America
Reader Dave sends in this video of a flash mob taking over the Ohio Union on Monday. When are people going to learn that extravagant, coordinated routines of obnoxious songs only belong on the NYC Subways?...
Soccer Player Gets Carded For Fatal Heart Attack (UPDATE)
Welp, diving in soccer now has its "boy who cried wolf" moment. The ref showed a collapsed Croatian player a yellow card because he thought he was faking. He wasn't. He was dead....
Abbey Clancy Makes Her World Cup Prediction…
For those of you who prefer not to waste valuable shopping time reading up on the latest football relationships, Abbey Clancy is the lucky model who has long been on the receiving end of Peter Crouch's deep midnight kisses....
The "Andrei Kirilenko's Yearly Free Pass Watch" Reaches DEFCON-2
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Gallery: A Roundup Of Kobe Bryant Photoshop Humor (UPDATES)
Many, many, many of you submitted your artwork to the Kobe Bryant photoshop post's comments and in emails. Keep 'em coming, and I'll update here accordingly....
A Short Video About The Snazzy New World Cup Ball
Of course, when football was first invented, it was probably played using sheep bladders wrapped in velvet cloaks, or old fishermen skulls....
Big Ben's Lawyer Would Like To Talk About Sex
Ben Roethlisberger's attorney sent a letter to Roger Goodell last month, now made public. In it, he lays out the Roethlisberger side of the story — and gives an immature mind a few turns of phrase to giggle about....
The World Needs More Ruined Weddings
I was watching "House" last night and there was a wedding scene in the beginning where the priest turns to the congregation and asks if anyone has any objection to the union. You know, the whole "speak now of forever hold your peace" thing. I have been to dozens of weddings in my lifetime, and not o...
Jets Fans Are Rational People And The Team In No Way Has Unrealistic Expectations
Jets fans predict 15-1 season. Rex Ryan asks, "who'd we lose to?" I think Hard Knocks should move from HBO to late-night Cinemax, because I'm getting hard just thinking about it. [ESPN]...
Real Deer Burst Into Wisconsin Bar During Bucks Game, Prove Unworthy Of Anyone's Fear
Shortly after the start of the Bucks' eventual Game 7 loss to the Atlanta Hawks, two genuine Wisconsin deer burst through the glass doors of the Stout Ale House restaurant in Menomonie, where patrons were watching the game. Video inside....
If Tevez Doesn’t Like It He Can Sod Off, Suggests Mancini
In political terms, the world of football closest in type to classic socialism. Everyone wears the same outfit, united in the one common goal, and no man is bigger than the club....
Derby Day Video Recap: A Mad Dash Across Porta-Potty Rooftops, Mudwrestling, And Bad Techno (NSFW)
This year, the drizzly weather made the usual activities along the Churchill Downs infield (portalet runs, women sunning themselves in bikinis) that much more dangerous (slippery portalet runs) and sleazy (women mudwrestling in bikinis). Here's everything you missed....
Dez Bryant's Non-Streetwalking Mother Upset That Jeff Ireland Has Not Apologized To Her
"No, he has not called. I think he should have. Why wouldn't you do that?," she complained to Fanhouse. Maybe Ireland still thinks he would risk a solicitation charge if he called her directly....
Peter King Forswears All Brett Favre Predictions, Immediately Makes Brett Favre Prediction
Here's Peter King, instantly forgetting what he thought he thought: "I'm finished predicting what he'll do, because I've been wrong every time I've predicted recently. And if I had to go to Vegas ... I'd bet he plays this fall." [MMQB, KSK]...
LP Field Will Soon Be Suitable Only For Water Polo (Photo Update)
The Titans' stadium is already being threatened by rising floodwaters, and a possible dam release could put the whole thing underwater within hours....
A Hockey Trucking To End All Hockey Truckings
In Game 3 of the OHL Championship Series last night, Barrie's Darren Archibald decided he didn't even want to play Game 4 and proceeded to check Windsor goalie Philipp Grubauer into the Northwest Territories. Naturally, a fight broke out. H/T Justin....