f Page 3205 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Kentucky's Future Lawyers Blow Off Class For Game, Get Called Out By Angry Dean
Northern Kentucky Law School held a mandatory "professionalism" lecture Thursday night, at the same time as UK's opening round game. The result: maybe not a lesson in professionalism, but certainly one in irony....

A Tale Of Two Zebras: Hockey Refs Turn Informant, Victim
Hockey referees are a fickle creature: sometimes they tell you how to beat the goalie, sometimes you get arrested for checking them into the boards. This weekend saw both....

Mark Ingram's Money-Laundering Father Gets Extended Sentence For Watching Sugar Bowl
Mark Ingram, father of Heisman Trophy winner Mark Ingram, will serve an extra 27 months in federal "[Office Space quote]" prison after jumping bail to watch Alabama's 2009 Sugar Bowl loss to Utah....

Carl Lewis In Spandex, And Other Hilarious Athlete Forays Into Music Careers
Fresh off the startling news that Manny Pacquiao canceled his Hawaii concert, it's high time to examine the other aural atrocities committed by top athletes. [The Top 13]...

Four Important Things To Know So Your Spring Break Won't Suck
A few weeks ago, I asked you for your very worst Spring Break horror stories. Here is mine....

Today In Sports Endurance Achievements: Three-Minute Hockey Fight
Saturday, St. Louis Blues bruiser Cam Janssen and New Jersey Devil's welterweight Pierre-Luc "I Wasn't In Duran Duran" Letourneau-Leblond lethrew down during the first period. Three minutes later, they had become Übermensch. [Fan House; tunes by TV on the Radio]...

Soak Yourself In Deadspin's Spring Break Week (NSFW)
All week long Deadspin will be celebrating the phenomenon of American Spring Break. There's much to come, but for now, please watch this educational video put together by hairypalmed intern David Matthews, documenting the effects of water on cotton apparel....

Book Excerpt: "Confessions Of A Washed-Up Sportswriter," From <em>Rules Of The Game</em>
Today's excerpt comes from a 1968 essay by Gary Cartwright, anthologized in Harper's Magazine's new sportswriting anthology, Rules of the Game, which we highly recommend....

Tebow Draft Rationalization Watch: The Rams Are Nothing If Not Efficient
As the NFL Draft approaches, many team fanbases stat nerds will attempt complex logical gymnastics to talk themselves into using a first-round pick on Florida quarterback Tim Tebow. Today: Numbers don't lie, dummy....

Let's Get All The Tiger Woods' "Masters Threesome" Jokes Out of the Way Now
USA Today's unavoidable weekend poll question: Who is best suited to play in Tiger's threesome at the Masters? "For pure theater, why not make Y.E. Yang part of the threesome?" Why not, indeed! [Thanks to Chris S.]...

ESPN On Five-Minute Tiger Interview: "More Important For Us To Have No Restrictions"
ESPN decided that a short, tape-delayed interview with Tiger Woods near his mansion columns was better than no interview - and Lightning Round Tom Rinaldi was the first and obvious choice to conduct the interview, the WWL said....

Golf Channel Actually Asks Tiger Woods Tougher Softball Questions
Golf Channel's Kelly Tilghman actually asks better questions and introduces us to Tiger's magic pussy protector Buddhist bracelet he now wears to keep rooted. She also reveals Ari Fleischer is done working for Team Tiger. Big day for "Kell." [GolfChannelTranscript]...

Oregon's Stolen Projector: The Real Victim
Jeremiah Masoli admitted to stealing a projector, among other things, from an Oregon frat house. But the media has criminally under-reported that aspect of the theft. We have learned exclusively that the frat was really enjoying that projector....

Chris Johnson Ruins A Perfectly Ugly Car
It's just like the Titans playbook: you can see Johnson coming a mile away and you still can't stop it. Don't mourn for that classic boat though; the paint job murdered it long before the 30-inch rims....

Stories That Don't Suck: Self Esteem, Ballad Of Big Star, Fantasy Baseball, Michael Lewis's First First Thing
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....

New Orleans Rebuilding Effort Costs 1,200 Saints Fans Their Season Tickets
The Saints are tearing out three sections of Superdome seats—displacing many season ticket holders—so they can turn their old press box into luxury suites. You're welcome, New Orleans. [WWLTV/PFT]...

Mike Bellotti Suddenly Needs To Not Work For Oregon Anymore
Mike Bellotti worked at Oregon for over 20 years, both as a football coach and athletic director, but just remembered that he left his keys in an ESPN studio and won't be coming back. Gee, I wonder why that is?...

Shining Kings Of The Serengeti Beset By Cerulean Satans: Arkansas Pine Bluff-Duke Open Thread
Duke's better this year than it's been in a while; expect the Blue Devils to crack 120 in this game. Look for floor-slaps galore by the scrubs who get into the game with about seven minutes to play....

Andrew Jackson's Least Favorite Team Vs. Everyone Else's: Florida State-Gonzaga
The days of Casey Calvary and Matt Santangelo are gone; Gonzaga has become a West Coast Duke. Solomon Alabi has the name of an extra from Angel Heart but is also a defensive force. Will we see Matt Bouldin cry?...

Jimmer Fredette Is Amazing, According To His Brother's Rap Song
In a jam that is straight slathered in metaphors, T.J. Fredette, brother of BYU's Szczerbiak 2.0, spits fire like ... the first Mormon rapper I've ever heard. Have fun with this....