f Page 3270 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Good Ol' Poise
What have we here? Two young, relatively unformed quarterbacks who play efficiently enough in winning efforts to be anointed with hollow praise? And they're going head-to-head? America had a poisegasm yesterday — and perhaps found a new talisman of poise....
The French Are Still Not Lance Armstrong Fans
Here's a shocker from the cycling world: Team Astana—which featured the first- and third-place finishers at the Tour de France—is now under a doping investigation! I'm starting to think cycling might have a problem with drugs. [AFP/AP]...
Baseball's Robot Revolution Is Coming
The umpires managed to not screw up the Phillies-Rockies game last night (I think), but that hasn't stopped people from continuing to talk about how horrible they are. Today's solution? Let's turn baseball into tennis!...
Deanna Favre Is Also A Fan Of The Custom Jersey
It's our first celebrity entry in the custom joke jersey derby. In this case, a creative Vikings fan thumbs his nose at Packers GM Ted Thompson on behalf of the whole Favre family. At least it's not about revenge!...
Mike Tyson Opens Up To Oprah
When it's time for a teary-eyed confession, it's time for Oprah! Mike Tyson sat down for the full-hour today to talk about his daughter, prison, biting Evander Holyfield, and what a tremendous bitch-on-wheels Robin Givens was. Don't forget the crying.......
Queering In The Press Box
Michael Silver: "By midway through the third quarter ... I was ready to take the Atlanta Falcons quarterback up to Gavin Newsom's box on the west side of the stadium and ask the San Francisco mayor to marry us." [Yahoo!]...
What Is Wrong With Our Fragile Baseball Umpires?
It's been a pretty rough offseason for the men in blue, as it seems like nearly every game of the incredibly brief Division Series (plural) has had at least one horribly blown call. These umps are anything but championship caliber....
When It's 8 A.M. And You Look Like This, You Might Be Close To Death
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...
Staying Out Late, Sweating Make Anthony Kim A "Loose Cannon"
Anthony Kim was a key player in the U.S.'s President's Cup win this weekend, despite the fact that he didn't sleep much and doesn't really want to hang with Jim Fuyrk. The man is out of control!...
Gretzky Heads To Toronto In 46-Player Trade?
A new book claims former Leafs owner Harold Ballard once tried to trade his entire franchise to Edmonton. (He wanted to swap cities with the Oilers in exchange for $50 million.) Then Janet Jones would have married Darryl Sittler. [TorontoStar]...
Josh McDaniels Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Josh McDaniels, who won the weekend by proving that he's not a foolishly incompetent man-child. Yes, the bar was set pretty low....
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Touching The Hem Of His Garment Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Great Moments In Ill-Considered Headlines
The Wall Street Journal commemorates the Red Sox sweep at the hands of the Angels with this doozy—"Boston Goes Down in a Fiery Crash." Wow, Nick Adenhart's memory was more inspiring than I thought. [WSJ]...
Someone Just Blew This Guy's Mind
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Sean Salisbury And The Infinite Sadness (UPDATE)
More bad news. It appears his home in Frisco, Texas is not in good shape according to these legal looking documents that suggest he's a little behind on his payments....
When The Bands Are More Competitive Than The Football Teams
The epic Grambling State and Prairie View rivalry was taken to absurd new heights last week, as each team's marching band attempted to disrupt the other team's offense. Seriously, this is the most exciting story on SWAC football in years....
Oakland Should Be Prosecuted For Crimes Against Humanity
I know it's cruel to keep featuring the Raiders today, but it was cruel of CBS to put them on my television. And really, holy crap, JaMarcus....
Your Late Games Open Thread
We should have some exciting games this afternoon, with none of the lines being more than a score. That is assuming you consider close games like Cleveland and Buffalo's 6-3 stinkbomb "exciting."...
Randy Hanson Worked For The Raiders And Lived To Tell The Tale. Barely.
"From my blindside, Tom Cable threw me from my chair and into a piece of furniture that a lamp sat upon. He was screaming, ‘I'll f—- kill you! I'll f—- kill you!'." [Yahoo!]...
Your Early Games Open Thread
So what if the Giants are forced to resort to their second string QB? The Raiders have to resort to their first-stringer. Enjoy watching the Oakland game, America. You poor bastards. [The506]...