f Page 3272 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The True American Way To Ball Hawk: Sue
The Happy Youngster might be on his way to law school after reading this one; a Miami family has forced the Phillies to return a home run ball by threat of a lawsuit. America!...
It's Always Bitey In Philadelphia
We're still trying to sort out what went down, but it looks like Kris Letang's hand got a little too close to Scott Hartnell's mouth. He might want to get tested for rabies....
Cardinals Defense Takes A Holliday
That is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad way to lose a playoff game. Commenter SavetoFavorites: "Kinda curious how the best fans in baseball will welcome Matt Holliday back home after this one." [Leitch's Twitter]...
Today In Thinly-Veiled Omens
The oldest male jaguar at the Jacksonville Zoo has been euthanized, after suffering since August. Panthers throughout Florida and the Carolinas are sleeping poorly tonight. [Times-Union]...
Good Guys Wear Briefs
Here's a video of a sad White Sox vendor in his underwear horsewhipping a bench. This is apparently some grand tradition that dates back to those days when the Sox were managed by the Marquis de Sade. [Sun-Times]...
White Trash Rebels Fans Would Like To See This Man Dead Over White Trash Comments
The SEC is littered with pugnacious rivalries, and one Bama'-banged Zabka named Taylor Fortenberry created his usual trash-talk video before this week's Ole Miss clash. Unfortunately, now Ole Miss fans want to kill him. Dead. For real....
Old-School Skunk And The Ripe-Tomato Eyes Of Pete Johnson
"Dark Side of the Locker Room" is a compendium of journalists' bizarre, amusing and previously undocumented encounters with athletes (and often athletes' genitalia). Got a story? Send it to [email protected]....
The Most Hopeless Franchise In Football. Jamboroo, Week 5
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
A Solo On The Toy Drum
You've read our "Dark Side of the Locker Room" series, in which journalists share their bizarre encounters with sports figures and, frequently, their genitalia. Consider this the reverse: Sports figures share their (and, perhaps, their genitalia's) bizarre encounters with journalists....
So, How Are Those Replacement Refs Working Out?
Scab refs called 75 fouls during last night's Celtics-Rockets preseason game. The teams combined to shoot 102 free throws. The NBA: Where play stoppage happens. [Chron.com, via TrueHoop]...
George Lopez Is This Year's Frank Caliendo
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Hawkeye Goes From Fan To Fanatic To Psychotic
At first this reads like the further pussification of sports, where a fan gets arrested for heckling a player. But it quickly takes a turn into Annie Wilkes territory....
NFL Highlight Of The Week: Touchdown, Big Boy
Because the NFL has such a stingy rebroadcast policy, we've decided to recreate the week's best highlight using a white gerbil, a tree frog and actual game audio. Suspend disbelief....
Alabama Father Pleased Daughter's Domestic Dispute Won't Interfere With Football Season
Alabama linebacker Courtney Upshaw and his girlfriend both agreed to dismiss charges filed against the other after a lover's spat this summer. No one is more excited about this than the girl's father who exited the courthouse shouting, "Roll Tide!"...
World Can At Last Make A Germane "Dirty Sanchez" Pun
QB Mark Sanchez was fined $5,000 for his cheap shot on the Saints' Jonathan Vilma, in which Sanchez launched himself at Vilma's knees during Darren Sharper's 99-yard interception return for a touchdown. Such poise! [Star-Ledger, Pro Football Talk]...
WFC Open Thread
Phillies vs. Rockies. Cliff Lee vs. Ubaldo Jimenez. Smelly Cheese Steak Heads vs. Tongue Bathers. [Yahoo!]...
Ron Artest Politely Asks Blog Critic To Fellate Something
Writing an "open letter" to Ron Artest demanding that he clean up his act and then emailing it to him seemed like such a good idea. Who could have guessed Artest would respond with, "Suck a cock"?...
MLB Postseason Preview: Predictions!
No one knows anything, but hell, like anyone will remember anyone's predictions anyway. Here are the official Emeritus predictions for the Major League Baseball playoffs, which start (woo-hoo!) today....
Teenage Football Players: This Woman Will "Catch You" And "Have Sex With You"
"Police say [Venus]Lewis, who appeared to be drunk, then walked to a set of picnic tables, pulled down her pants, and inserted a tampon before beginning to masturbate in front of the children." [Zimbio]...