f Page 3275 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Depressing Pirates Story For The Day
Pittsburgh farmhand Eric Hacker finally made his major league debut last week at PNC Park, a nice moment for which one lone fan applauded. One. And now the fan's been found. Fittingly, he writes horror novels....

Posnanski Responds To Bissinger Diss Track
You'll recall that W.C. "Buzz" Bissingheinz called out Joe Posnanski in yesterday's chat equivalent of an old guy wearing his hat backward. Posnanski replies: "I have never had a feud before. Could this be the start of something new?" [JoePosnanski.com]...

Mike Francesa Continues Bitter Assault Against Sports Fella And ESPN
Irked by ESPN's "30 for 30" docu film fest, Mad Dog-less Mike Francesa went on another rant about the WWL's monopolizing of sports and called out Bill Simmons for being a "stooge" for the network. History repeating. [Fantasy555]...

A Peek Inside The Mind Of An NHL Head Coach
Spoiler....There's not much there. Maple Leafs coach Ron Wilson inadvertently gave TV viewers a look at his super-secret game notes and as Orland Kurtenblog says: "this kinda destroys the illusion that an nhl coach works on a higher level." [Kurtenblog]...

Chicago Mourns The Loss Of Civic Nuisance, Massive Boondoggle Known As The Olympics
Chicago had this thing and it was fucking golden and then, suddenly, it wasn't. And even though Jacques Rogge and the IOC saved the city the enormous, crippling burden of hosting their big track meet, some people were very sad....

Why Did New Mexico's Coach Punch His Assistant? Whatever
New Mexico coach Mike Locksley is maybe going to be out of a job soon since he probably slugged his own assistant coach in the face. And all because the other guy had to go and get catty....

Somehow, The Chilled Afterlife Of Ted Williams Manages To Get Weirder
Workers at Alcor, the cryonics lab where the frozen leftovers of Ted Williams are being preserved in liquid nitrogen, allegedly decapitated the Splendid Splinter and mutilated his head with a monkey wrench. There goes the greatest sentence ever written....

Apparently "Season-Long" Suspension Means Only The Nonconference Season
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Catholic School Teams Make The Best Videos
A reader sent this in to add it to our gallery of team photos. But this deserves its own post, for you see, it's a high school team's music video. And it's every bit as amazing as you could imagine....

The Strangest Dirk Nowitzki Story You'll Ever Read
Deadspin presents to you a look at the burgeoning genre of Dirk Nowitzki fiction. Featuring homoerotic thoughts about Steve Nash, a Christ complex, and Oedipal musings. We are through the looking glass here, people....

Book From Hell
So, by the looks of it, Rick Reilly®'s new book promises to be a thoroughly dignified affair that won't in any way represent another sad step in a once-great sportswriter's descent into self-parody and studied wackiness. That much is evident....

Getting Free Shoes Does Not Make You A Celebrity Endorser
Nike has been forced to admit publicly that they have not signed Michael Vick to a new endorsement deal, after one of his agents said they had. (They're simply supplying him with gear.) Gee, that's awkward. [USAToday]...

OCTOBER! F*CK YEAH!!!!! Jamboroo, Week 4
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Angry Interplanetary Ice Bear Will Destroy Anchorage, Bring Back Hockey
Seriously, this bear is fucking pissed. Wouldn't you be if you were the mascot for an obscure college hockey team in Fairbanks and then got banished to the stars? I would certainly want to smash some shit up, starting with that small moon over there. Do not fuck with the Nanook Space Bear....

ESPN Plans To Favre The Favre Out Of You
"ESPN, says spokesman Mike Soltys, will announce that on next Monday's broadcast of its ESPN2 SportsNation (5 p.m. ET), it will try to set a record for the most mentions of Brett Favre on a TV show..."[AwfulAnnouncing]...

Ford Field Pants Dropper Can Totally Explain This
As you would probably expect, when one dude is caught on camera choking out another dude who isn't wearing pants the natural response is usually, "It's not what you think!" Well, the gentleman on top has finally spoken up....

Please Wipe Down The Rim After Dunking
According to the Boston Herald, the NBA has issued "an anti-handshake" directive, asking players to fist or chest bump each other to combat swine flu. Also, please use a handkerchief when boxing out. [Herald/NoGutsNoGlory]...

HGH Is P.O.'ed At T.O.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Thanks For Your Years Of Service, Drunky
It's not uncommon for the media to take pleasure in seeing certain players get traded away. But maybe you don't need to run photos of his underage drinking alongside the story....

The Philadelphia Phillies Look Toward October Once Again
The post-WFC comedown has clearly not affected this Fightins' fan, who still has the Zook-like intensity of a man still thirsting for a championship. If the Phillies win tonight, they'll have clinched the NL East for the third straight year....