f Page 3277 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Lions Fan Enjoys Historic Victory Sans Pants
Detroit fans have suffered through eons of metaphorical de-pantsings, so it's understandable that a few dudes attending Sunday's monumental victory would look to continue the tradition by literally dropping trou during a drunken game of grab-ass....

USC Running Back In Horrific-Sounding Weight-Room Accident
"ESPN's Shell[e]y Smith is reporting USC RB Stafon Johnson has been taken to the hospital after a bar came down on his throat in the weight room. Johnson was coughing up blood." [CBS2]...

The Ron Zook Coaching Tree Bears Intense Fruit
First-year New Mexico coach Mike Locksley learned at the knee of famous intensity-pisser Ron Zook, and it seems he learned well. Locksley now stands accused of punching his wide receivers coach in the face....

Welcome To The Chad Henne Era, Miami Fans
Chris Mortensen says: Chad Pennington has a torn shoulder something and is probably done for the year. (He'll get a second opinion, but James Andrews has already cut him open twice.) That's why Jimmy Buffett invented the Wildcat, right? [ESPN/SecondStringFullback]...

Meet The Mets' Sad Fan
Type "mets fan" into Google Images and you get a good cross-section of Mets Nation, everything from the disappointed to the dejected. A prime example: that downtrodden, scruffy-looking twentysomething with his hands held hopelessly atop his rally cap....

The Poise Is Back In Town
Another week, another victory for Mark Sanchez, another opportunity for New York Times Jets writer Greg Bishop to limn the quarterback's lukewarm heroics with his favorite word. You know the one....

Michael Crabtree Surviving Off Delicious Subway Sandwiches
Professional holdout Michael Crabtree has still not signed with the San Francisco 49ers, but don't worry about him. His marketing agent has him endorsing Subway, which is perfect because Crabtree is probably really, really hungry....

The Legend Of The Vest
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...

ESPNBoston's Separation Of Church And Kraft Is Suspect
"The Boston Globe reportsreport that the new ESPNBoston site has a pretty powerful team selling ads: The Kraft Sports Group, which, by the way, owns another team - the New England Patriots." [DavidCarrNYT]...

The Detroit Lions Win The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Detroit Lions, who won the weekend by not being friends with Tom Cruise. Detroit City is fixed!...

Truth In Labeling?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Geiger! Let's Go! (Again)
Remember Colby Rasmus Girl? Of course you do. It's always playing in your head when you've had a long day and all I really want is to sleep but it's stuck in my brain...Well now there's a remix. [imeem]...

Missouri Manages To Screw Up Throwing Out Cell Phones
When your school is trying to raise money, sell cookies or something. Don't sell your coaches' old mobile phones. And if you must, make sure the address books and text messages have been erased. I'm looking at you, Mizzou....

NFL Roundup: Hey, Look Who's Back
Wow, there were some crappy early games. Thankfully there were a few sideshows and massive failures to keep things interesting. Oh, and this Favre fellow....

Your Late Games Open Thread
In future NFL bust news, Tim Tebow has been released from the hospital and is heading home. In current NFL bust news, most of you get to watch either JaMarcus Russell or Cedric Benson. [Florida Times-Union]...

Suddenly An Expiring CBA Doesn't Seem So Bad
Short of money, Irish Premier League Team Cork City were only able to travel to an away game after local businessmen raised money to pay their bus fare. Gary Bettman is considering relocating them to Albuquerque. [Evening Herald]...

It's Raiders vs. Gannon In What Amounts To An Unpopular Girl Catfight
It's one of those fights where even if you win, you're still a loser. But let's break down the hissy fit the Raiders are throwing over Rich Gannon....

Your Early Games Open Thread
Lions fans, please ignore the distribution maps, as your apathy has rendered them irrelevant. Basically only the Beltway gets to see the Skins become Detroit's first win in years. Bank on it. [The506]...

"Motherf***er Hit My Penis"
Minnesota's Simoni Lawrence crotches himself on a yard marker, and provides us with a contender for quote of the year....