f Page 3287 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alexander Ovechkin Takes His Wii Very Seriously
Alexander Ovechkin stopped traffic yesterday so he could drive a Zamboni down Manhattan's Sixth Avenue and then school me in some video game hockey. Not as fun as doing 180 with Rachel Nichols riding shotgun, but it was only Wednesday....
Brad Penny Does Not Appreciate Your Mock Grunting
Even as Penny dominates NL hitting like a grown man mowing through Little Leaguers, he still carries himself like a toddler on the mound, ranting and raving about everything. So it goes without saying: Mock him at your own risk....
Love And Football. The Return Of The Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find links to more of Drew's stuff at his Twitter feed....
John Madden Agrees To Work For NFL, Save Frank Caliendo's Career
The former broadcaster/coach, apparently bored with retirement already, has been hired as a "Special Advisor to the Commissioner." "See this right here? That's a four-game suspension for drug use. BAM!" [ProFootballWeekly]...
Starbury Addresses The Gay Jokes In True Starbury Fashion
With another video. In which he sings. And displays his painted toenails. And says, "If you think I'm gay, leave me in a room with your girl for an hour and she's gonna tell you how gay I am." [NESWsports.com]...
Arkansas Basketball: Gang Bangs And Rape LOLs On Twitter
No charges will be filed against three Arkansas basketball players accused of raping an 18-year-old girl, a matter to which one Razorback alluded earlier in the week in a LOLlingly idiotic Tweet....
Alabama Fan Is Not Pleased About That Last Call
Not only did college football return to us last weekend, it brought back a classic genre of the YouTube age—the overstimulated SEC fan boiling over with rage as they watch their team fail on TV....
Out-Of-Context Quotes Make Shawne Merriman Look Pretty Guilty
"I've been able to knock somebody out....I must have split personalities....I'm so dangerous right now I scare myself." [Playboy]...
The Tale Of Melanie Oudin And The Homewrecker
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
The Drunken Jellyfish Bandit Begins His Reign Of Terror
An intoxicated Florida beachgoer was arrested after pretending to drown in order to lure in would-be rescuers, only to hurl jellyfish at them when they approached. That's the greatest sentence I've ever written. [St. Pete Times]...
Does Michael Jordan Have Any Friends Left?
Despite what he'll tell you, Jordan wouldn't have won a single title without help. Yet Jerry Krause, the man who assembled that collection of second bananae, won't be there as MJ enters the Hall of Fame. Why not?...
Lingerie Football Off To A Rousing Start
Week 1 of Lingerie "Football" kicked off with this revealing wardrobe malfunction. Enjoy. [With Leather]...
Sympathy For The Refs
More and more it's looking as if the NBA will lock out its referees and turn to scabs instead, and no one will much protest because NBA refs aren't exactly coalminers in Matewan. But this is nevertheless a bad development....
Brady Quinn Will Guide Your Browns To Victory In 2009, New Media Says
The Cleveland Plain Dealer reports that Eric Mangini has confirmed the report by Pro Football Talk via Terrell Owens' congratulatory Twitter message that Quinn will start this Sunday against the Vikings. Welcome to the new journalism. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]...
Help Wanted: Preposterous NFL Project 2009
Dear Readers: If anyone in the NYC area would like to volunteer to care for our football-playing gerbil and frog this year, please contact me. Consider it an internship. Sort of. No, this is not a joke....
Harrison Accuser Dies From Gunshot Wounds
Dwight Dixon, the man who accused Marvin Harrison of shooting him back in 2008, was shot again this July and never regained consciousness. He died on Friday. No charges have been filed in either case. [Philly Daily News]...
ESPN Now Beset By Non-Plastic Vulpine Creatures
A Deadspin operative passes along an e-mail recently sent 'round the Bristol compound, warning ESPN employees about a fox seen prowling the campus, like some physical manifestation of lurking evil....
Please Do Not Insult Mike Lupica On Twitter
No matter how ludicrous a Mike Lupica rant might be, it's probably best if you don't call him on it a public forum. Especially if you also work for ESPN: The Conglomerate....
UFL Players Are Basically Just Human Billboards
The UFL will be providing "on-helmet exposure" to their primary sponsor this season. I am shocked. The UFL will provide helmets? [SF Weekly]...
Ray Allen Has The Eye Of The Tiger
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....