f Page 3295 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cohort Of Talented Mr. Roto Allegedly Fornicates At Ben Hill Griffin Stadium
"I mean this literally. I snuck in to the stadium, with a girl, and fucked her on the goal line of the south end zone. Right below the goal posts, underneath the national championship signs." WWTTD? [IHopeTheyServeBeerInHell]...

Why Your Team Sucks: BUZZSAW
Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

What Mysterious (And Heroic) Injury Is Tim Tebow Hiding?
Tebow missed practice! TEBOW MISSED PRACTICE! Something about a stiff back, which shouldn't be a problem for a running quarterback with weak mechanics. But it doesn't matter because he's a walking M.A.S.H. unit that you cannot keep off the field....

Why Your Team Sucks: Detroit Lions
Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

And Now A Look At The Actual Brett Favre Goat Tied Up In The Lady's Trunk
Finally, you can put your photoshopping skills to rest — the comically cruel Brett Favre goat video has been released to the local news. Yes, the goat, although tied down, is still alive in these photos. [WCCO]...

The Rockies Are A Team Of Destiny ... Again
Two years ago, Colorado's miracle finish lifted a scrappy upstart team to the World Series. Then suddenly they were were terrible again. Now they're on the verge of another miracle comeback. How do they do it (every other year)?...

What Soccer Needs Is More Kicks To The Face
Bolivian soccer has it figured out. When an opposing player elbows you during a fight for the ball, don't take a wailing, overdramatic dive. Just wait until halftime and then give him a flying boot to the head....

Jets' Young Quarterback Still Has Some Growing Up To Do
On Sanchez: "You saw his eyes get big," Ray Lewis said, "and he was jumping around in the pocket. We gave him a lot of looks and disguises, and we confused him a little bit." [NYP] (photo courtesy via Smoot)...

The Ongoing Madness Of Shawn Andrews
Last summer, I did a story about Eagles offensive lineman Shawn Andrews and his self-diagnosed depression issues, but after a recent odd locker room outburst in front of reporters, I'm a little more convinced he's got some major problems....

Why Your Team Sucks: New York Giants
Some people are fans of the New York Giants. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the New York Giants. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Narcing On Michael Vick And His Fruity Alcoholic Beverage
Vick was recently spotted sipping a fruity and legal adult beverage, a non-story in any league that isn't run by a guy who thinks he's Father Flanagan in Boys Town, which is to say, any league but Roger Goodell's NFL....

Delaware Loses Gambling Lawsuit, Also Fails To Cover
A Federal Appeals court sided with major sports leagues and struck down Delaware's plan to offer sports betting this fall. The integrity of sports is saved! Isn't that wonderful?...

Why Your Team Sucks: Philadelphia Eagles
Some people, like asshole Daulerio, are fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Philadelphia Eagles. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Favre-esque Goat Led To Slaughter In Trunk Of A Car
Mechanics in Minnesota were slightly alarmed this weekend when a woman came in for a new fan belt and then announced that she had a live goat—that was also a effigy of Brett Favre—in her trunk....

Best Running Back On The Planet Shows Off Quzzical Dead Duck Face
Adrian Peterson pops up in a photo gallery on Gobbler Country and shows the world that he can also be cruel to animals. Beware the crazed duck lovers converging upon Minnesota to display their outrage. [GC via SB]...

Cowboys Stadium Offers Valuable Seating Behind This Brick Wall
We've already covered the new Cowboys Stadium's opulent luxury, from the $40 million scoreboard to the $60 pizzas. How about $75 seats where you can only see one-third of the playing field? Thank you, Jerry Jones for all your blessings!...

One More Columnist Boldly Proclaims That Vince Young Is Not A Good NFL Player
Although Vince Young schizophrenically told Esquire he'd be enshrined in the Hall of Fame and the next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl, it appears only his mother and the voices inside his head believe him....

Meet Crusher, Nightmare Ant's Crustacean Relation
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Florida Is Number One, And It Isn't Close
The preseason AP College Football Poll has been released, and the Florida Gators are number one in the nation, by the widest margin in the poll's history....

Moving Jerry's Big TV Wouldn't Be Cheap
According to Chris Mortensen's source with the Cowboys, raising the 72' high video screen would cost a minimum of $2 million (or 33,333 pizzas). No worries, Jerry Jones was already considering raising it to accommodate a U2 concert. [ESPN]...